I’ve been at the National Religious Broadcasters conference this past week. My experiences there made me think about people and how they pitch themselves to others. There’s a time and a place for pitching yourself, such as in a job interview. But, I think as Christians, we have to be careful of constantly self-inflating or making sure that people around us know how great or wonderful or accomplished we are.
Be careful of the “defensive self.” These are the people who blame others instead of owning and being responsible for their mistakes. They puff themselves up to make themselves look good or more authoritative.
Our purpose is to elevate Jesus, not ourselves. We don’t have to self-elevate because God equips us for what we need to do. We need to be living a life that is promoting and causing other people to see the Lord because it’s not about us. We need to be teaching this truth to our children as well.
We need God to give us discernment in this area. You need to ask Him to show you when you need to step back because a person’s motivation is about self-inflation over pointing people to God. When you see this, you need to be on guard. Put up some boundaries and limit the amount of access you’re going to give this person to you and your life.
P.R.A.Y. to Be Genuine
Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.
Romans 12:9-13 (ESV)
What are you doing to contribute to and help others? When I’m at these types of events and conferences, it’s easy to see who the takers and who the givers are. This passage from Romans clearly tells us that we are to be generous and help others.
The acronym P.R.A.Y. will help you remember for yourself and teach this to your children.
P – Pray and praise. Set your mind on the Spirit. Praise the Lord. Praise others for who God made them to be.
R – Repent. God doesn’t exalt the proud, but the broken-hearted.
A – Appointments. Ask God for divine appointments and conversations. Ask Him to lead you to people you can help. Be full of compassion.
Y – Yes or Yield. Know when to say yes and when to say no. Say yes to God and yield to His leading.
In these crazy times, have you fallen into the habit of self-elevation and defending yourself? Instead, let’s be given to hospitality. Find ways to use your gifts, strengths, and talents. Hold fast to what is good. Let your love for others be genuine. Be faithful and obedient to what He has called you to do.
I’ve been doing a lot of research about technology and how it affects our families and our kids. Since the beginning of the pandemic, online usage, especially social media, has risen 50% or more. But I’ve said many times that technology is not the problem! It’s the usage of technology that is the problem. It’s how we are using it and how often we are using it. How can you manage device use when your family is gathered together so that relationships are kept a top priority?
I was recently on vacation with my husband, my kids, and their spouses. Of the ten of us, there were plenty of times when the majority of the family would be found on a device. It might have been for work or it might have been for social media or it might have been someone just wasting time while waiting for everyone else. Seeing this, I wondered how this device usage could be tamed. How can we manage device use at family gatherings?
Once your kids are adults, the solution is not as easy as taking their devices away! The goal is to help your kids learn when to turn off the devices and how to be unplugged.
Set the Expectations Before a Family Gathering
If you’re planning a family getaway or gathering, discuss the plans and expectations beforehand. Talk about the loose agenda for your time together. A full itinerary would add more stress and inhibits organic conversations, but you can have a loose plan to set the overall tone for your time. Discuss the games you want to play or activities you want to do together and how the event or days will flow.
How to Talk to a Disengaged Family Member
If in the midst of the family activity of hang out time, you find that one of the kids is disengaged, ask if everything is ok. Maybe there’s a problem with a friend or a work emergency? Don’t assume that they’ve stepped away because they don’t want to be with the family. Give the benefit of the doubt. Manage your expectations and give grace. Don’t jump to being offended!
When you see that there’s a family member who is constantly on their phone, what can you do? First, stop and pray. Next, observe. Wait for an opportunity to ask if everything is ok. When the time is right, privately ask questions to get to the heart of the matter. Gently point out to the person that you’ve noticed they’ve been on their device a lot and you were wondering if everything was ok.
Help your children understand that they need to be present for the people who are physically in front of them first. Don’t let the person in the phone be put first. Teach them to stay engaged and let the person in the phone wait a minute. This will deepen the relationships in your family.
The CDC recently released new developmental milestone markers for children. This new guidance sadly shows that our children have been developmentally delayed and emotionally hindered during the pandemic. Young children are taking longer to get to their first steps, to smile for the first time, and to wave goodbye. All of our lives have been interrupted in the last two years, but the fallout is showing up in our children.
New Developmental Milestones
Your children have likely experienced some level of isolation during this time. That might be less time with peers, not playing sports, or simply “social distancing.” Your children have experienced life in a way that it has never been experienced before. One day they were in school and the next day they were not. One day they were attending church and the next day they were not. Even homeschoolers saw changes to their schedules even if only in simple things such as shopping habits. These new CDC guidelines for developmental milestones show that our children have been harmed through these changes.
What Can I Do?
Our children are on the losing end right now. What should you do? Flood your school board? Run for an elected office? Maybe, if God’s calling you to do those types of things. The first thing you need to do is pray and ask the Lord to show you what He wants you personally to do.
How to Equip Your Children
What I do know is that God does want you to equip your kids for this season. Are you talking to them about what’s going on in the world around them? In addition to teaching right and wrong, you must teach them how to navigate that in society. As parents, we have to help our kids catch up and go beyond that to excelling in life.
These new developmental milestones guidelines show that your children need you to engage with them on a cognitive level.
Show youf full facial expressions.
Look them in the eye.
Talk with them.
Sit down on the floor and play with them.
Get outside to play with them.
Let them hear your laughter.
Get in the kitchen to cook together.
Praise them for who they are, not what they do.
Tech is Neutral
I have a strong belief that technology is neutral, but sadly our children are being lured into spending countless hours watching others instead of being creators. Children are born creative and adventurous explorers. It’s time to turn off the devices. Be together. Play together.
The Future
Give your child a vision for what life could look like for them. Your child doesn’t have to be a casualty of this experiment or remain a statistic. The goal is always to empower your children! We want them to discover who they are and where they belong. They need to know that they fit in your family and that their value and worth come from God. What will you do today to empower your kids and help them reach developmental milestones?
Yvette Hampton from Schoolhouse Rocked and her family have an incredible story of following God. God called them to sell their home, buy an RV, leave California, and create a documentary about homeschooling. Yvette shares how the perfect author of our lives does amazing work when we trust Him and allow Him to do His work. He is a faithful God!
Choosing to Follow God
In this episode, Yvette shares:
How her husband Garrett left the Hollywood film industry
How God was prompting their family to leave California in an RV
How she went from thinking homeschoolers were wierd to homeschooling her kids
How she and Garrett were led to produce Schoolhouse Rocked
How I was inolved in Schoolhouse Rocked as an associate producer
Who should watch Schoolhouse Rocked
This is a fascinating Abraham-type story that you have to hear straight from Yvette’s mouth. I hope it encourages you to follow God even when the circumstances seem impossible!
I’m so thankful for the opportunity to have been a part of Schoolhouse Rocked and hope that you’ll take the time to watch the documentary for yourself and share it with your friends.
About Yvette Hamptom
Yvette Hampton is the producer and host of the documentary, Schoolhouse Rocked: The Homeschool Revolution and TheSchoolhouse Rocked Podcast. As a mom who is concerned for the future of this generation, Yvette has a deep desire to see a culture shift by encouraging people through God’s Word. She and her husband, Garritt, have a passion for strengthening and equipping families and the homeschool community by teaching parents how to live out their convictions and point their children towards Christ. Her greatest joy is being a wife and mom.
It’s been a long road for this podcast, but I’ve stayed the course. The Equipped To Be podcast began just a few weeks before COVID hit and the world went into lockdown. I knew we were supposed to be doing this podcast. People had been asking me for a podcast for years. In February 2020, we prepared and went live at the end of that month. That was almost two years ago! And now, here we are at episode 100! Let’s take a look at these first 100 episodes and what is needed to stay the course.
I started this show for YOU, and I love your feedback. You’re always welcome to contact me directly with any comments or suggestions. Just use the contact form here to email me.
The First 100 Episodes
Let’s take a little walk down memory lane at some of the best and most downloaded episodes from these first 100 episodes.
We’ve had some amazing guests on the show. Take a look at some of these favorite guest episodes:
My goal is that with every episode of Equipped To Be, you’d come away with some nugget or point to ponder as you go about your day. That might be about your personal life, your relationship with your kids, schooling decisions, or so much more. I’m thankful that you’re here and pray that I can keep adding value to your life. I want you to succeed and be found faithful!
Staying the Course
People have asked me: How do you stay the course? It’s a little cliche, but if God calls you, He equips you. It’s so true! The thing to keep in mind is that the outcome is not as important as you getting started and staying the course, whatever that path is. Here are three things that you need to have in order to stay the course.
Internal Conviction
You have to have an internal conviction that you’re doing what you know you’re supposed to be doing. There’s a drive. You know you have to do this thing, no matter what else is going on around you. The enemy may come and try to make you question, but you know your calling. You may question, but God gives you the winks and nudges that you’re on the right path.
External Commitment
When something needs to be done, you get up and do it. This is an external commitment. Your children need you to get up and teach them, so you do it. You have a deadline to meet, so you work until it’s done. The house needs to be decluttered, the dinner needs to be made, the groceries need to be purchased, the budget needs to be balanced, so you follow through. I made an external commitment to show up here for you every Wednesday morning at 8 am. So, here I am, week after week.
Eternal Perspective
It’s not worth doing something just for an award or to have your name in the spotlight. It’s not wrong, in my opinion, to obtain these things, but they can’t be your only purpose in life. Does what you’re doing have eternal significance? At Equipped To Be, one of our goals is to strengthen families, and that makes a difference for the kingdom.
I’ll be honest. Sometimes, despite conviction, commitment, and perspective, there will be days when you’re more productive and some days when you feel like you’re grinding it out. God is simply looking for two things: your obedience and your willingness.
The Future
Thank you for sticking with us for 100 episodes. I’m excited about what’s coming in the future!
When I talk to teens, I hear this time and time again. Teens want to be heard, but they feel like their parents are not listening. Parents tell me that their teen doesn’t talk to them. Your teen has few true choices at this point in their life. You are choosing where they live and where they go to school. Their choices in food and clothes are likely limited by budget or other restrictions. They are desperately trying to mature from a child into an adult, but they are not going to navigate that path perfectly. Some of the tension comes because you as the parent need to work on creating your unique parenting style and figuring out how that fits with your unique child.
Parenting Styles
There are a lot of parenting styles out there. You can do a quick search online and find the big ones named and defined. I also talk about this in Parenting Beyond The Rules. Here are a few styles that you’ll likely come across:
Authoritative
Permissive
Hovering
Helicopter
Lawnmower
Sweeper
Do you fall into any of these parenting styles? How is that working in your family?
The Goal of Your Parenting Style
Relationship with your child should be the goal of your parenting style. If you feel like there’s something missing in your relationship with one or more of your kids, it might be your parenting style. You have to be in tune with each kid. What you say or how you say something to one child could crush another child. It’s all about speaking in a way that the child can hear you.
Can I Change My Parenting Style?
Yes! Your parenting style needs to change as your child grows and matures and as they learn to show respect and honor. When you pivot and make changes to your parenting style, it shows your child that you’re working together with them. Now, about half of you are likely thinking that this is no big deal. You’re the go-with-the-flow type, and making these changes may come more naturally for you. The other half of you are freaking out right now because you don’t like change. But relationships change over time, and so must your parenting style.
How Do I Change My Parenting Style?
I’m here to tell you that changing your parenting style is simple. Ok, maybe not as simple in the sense that I can lay out all of the steps for you like an instruction manual, but I can confidently tell you the starting steps.
Step One: Pray
The first step is to pray. Your child, each of your children, is a masterpiece fashioned by a master creator and architect. I purposely used this imagery of paint and paintbrushes on the front cover of Parenting Beyond the Rules.
This isn’t a paint-by-number craft project. In contrast, God created your child with unique strengths, gifts, and talents. It’s your job to help your child figure out where to put the colors and shapes onto the blank canvas of their lives. When you pray, you’re talking to the master architect! Consult him about how to teach and train your child.
Step Two: See Through the Lens of Your Child
You need to work towards seeing the world the way your child does. You have to talk to them in a way that they can hear and understand you. Your strong-willed child may not flinch when you reprimand them with a harsh tone, but your sensitive child could be devasted by the same words and tone. Figure out who they are and treat them like the unique masterpieces that God created them to be. They need to know that you’re going to be there for them, no matter what happens. This is about having mutual respect and honor. To listen to each other. It’s not about winning a battle or even today’s argument. The goal is a relationship, and that means being the best parent you can be… for each of your children.
Creating Your Unique Parenting Style
Your unique parenting style will change over the years and for each child. It’s okay to change. It is necessary to change. You will have to keep creating your unique parenting style and keep adjusting it to meet the needs of your family and each of your children. Your kids are counting on you!
