Do you allow your kids to participate in sleepovers? I’m personally not a fan of blanket directives because each family is unique. You have to make a decision about what is best for your family based on the pros and cons of having sleepovers.
I was recently on Fox 35 Orlando to talk about the pros and cons of sleepovers. It’s hard to have an in-depth discussion on a topic like this in four minutes, so I’d like to dig in a little deeper here on the podcast with you.
Did you go to sleepovers when you were a kid? If you did, what happened at those sleepovers? There was likely a lot of talking about other people, eating sugar, and staying up all night. Maybe you did things you probably shouldn’t do along the way. Maybe your experiences make you say never to sleepovers. Maybe you had great experiences with sleepovers that you want your kids to have as well.
Pros of Sleepovers
Here are some pros of participating in sleepovers:
Social development in an unstructured, relaxed environment
Cultivation of independence in your child
Creation of defining, lasting memories and friendships
Space to learn to make good decisions and problem solve
Building trust with parents and friends
Cons of Sleepovers
What about the cons of sleepovers? There are downsides such as:
Possibility for bullying
Shattering of trust
Inappropriate behavior
Exposure to drugs and alcohol
Sleep deprivation and its results or consequences
Disruption of routines
Exclusion of some children
Is There a Middle Ground on Sleepovers for Your Family?
Before you choose to take an always-or-never stance on sleepovers, I challenge you to think outside the box and see if there’s another path that might work for your family. It’s important to know your children. It’s critical to have good communication. If you choose to allow or host sleepovers, know and communicate what you expect of your kids and those participating.
In the Albers’ family, we were generally not pro going to other homes for sleepovers. Some of this had to do with our family size and dynamics. I couldn’t have five kids running to five different places. Because my kids’ extracurricular activities, we were also often busy on the weekends making a Friday night sleepover difficult to participate in those activities the rest of the weekend. We built a life that was busy or full to meet the goals and needs of our family. Sleepovers didn’t naturally fit into that plan for us most of the time.
Here are some additional things to consider to help you decide if sleepovers are good for your family:
Why are you opposed to or hesitant to let your child attend sleepovers?
Is there a legitimate concern for your child?
Is this is a declaration that your friends have made?
Did you have a bad experience with sleepovers?
Do you know everybody who will be there?
Will the parents be home?
How many kids are expected to attend?
Is this a party or a time to hang out with close friends?
Ask your child why they want to go.
Ask questions to gauge whether your kid can stand up to peer pressure and awkward situations.
Open, honest communication is the key to all of this. Be sure to take the time to explain the responsibility and the dangers that come with sleepovers, wherever your family decides to land on the subject.
Join me in the next episode where we will dive a little deeper into the topic of hosting sleepovers!
Do you have a prodigal child? Are you desperate to guide your prodigal home? Laine Lawson Craft has lived this story with her three children. Now she’s committed to sharing their testimony and showing parents how to fight the spiritual battle to guide their prodigals back home again.
In this episode, Laine and I talk about:
How your kids are being attacked for their destiny
The number one thing that a parent (or anyone can do) for a child
What is a prodigal?
Staying in the game with your adult kids
How guiding your prodigal home is a long-term commitment
Dealing with discouragement
How to handle backsliding
How one touch of God can change everything
About Laine Lawson Craft
Laine is dauntlessly committed to guiding parents of teens and young adults to win back their prodigal children.
She partners with prodigal parents so that they find a proven battle plan and strategies to guide them to know that they are not in a war with their child but in a war with the enemy trying to destroy them; they will learn how to have authority over the battles, and how to pray for victory for their prodigal.
With over fifteen years of working with amazing people with similar hurts and spiritual warfare and guiding them to achieve remarkable success, her mission and commitment are to give you insights and revelations into how the darkness of our world operates, build your hope, and give tried-and-true tools and applications that will bring your prodigal home.
Her path to writing this life-transforming battle plan became clear after she fought hell for her children, and her family was healed and won.
Laine is an award-winning, best-selling author, popular media host, and in-demand speaker.
She has been married to Steve, her husband, for over thirty-five years, and she loves spending time with her two sons, only daughter, daughter-in-love, and son-in-love.
Do you have kids who resist your instructions? You tell them to do something and they don’t do it. You beg. You lecture. You try to explain why. But, they don’t do what you say or they simply ignore you. Why do children resist instructions?
5 Reasons Why Children Resist Instruction
In this episode, we’re digging into why children resist instructions. There are five reasons you might be experiencing this resistance. Let’s dig into them!
Communication Breakdown
Sometimes, there’s a communication breakdown. Maybe your child feels ignored or dismissed or misunderstood. Kids are trying their best to communicate how they feel and think but their communication skills might be underdeveloped or maybe they are afraid you will overreact. When we don’t get to the heart of the matter, resentment can start brewing. When we don’t deal with this resentment it can lead to more resistance and then rejection.
Power Struggles
Another reason kids resist our instruction is because of power struggles. Your child might feel like you’re trying to control them or take away their freedom. As your kids grow, it’s natural for them to make more of the decisions in their life. You might see this as rebellion. Honestly, neither of you is thinking right about the situation and better communication is needed.
Need to Make Decisions
As your kids get older you have to give them more ability to make decisions and give input. At certain ages and with certain temperaments, if you try to push without explaining why or having a feeling of trust. You have to give your kids the time and space to work things out. Ask them how they would handle things even if you think there’s a better way and let them try or explain why they must follow through on your instruction in this instance.
Differing Priorities
Another reason children resist instruction is differing priorities. Your attention is captivated by all the things that need to be done, while your child might have another focus. You have a feeling of responsibility that is at a level that your child lacks depending on age and maturity. Maybe you’re expecting more of them than they are capable of at this time.
Lack of Understanding
Finally, there’s a lack of understanding. Your child might not understand the reason behind your instruction. This leads to confusion and frustration, which brings on disobedience and resistance. They need to see why doing this thing matters.
Parenting for the Future
Remember that you’re not parenting for the here and now. The things you’re teaching and reinforcing now are the habits and patterns that will follow your kids for a lifetime. Take time to understand your child’s perspective, have reasonable expectations, and give choices when possible. God has given you the skills, the tools, and the resources to be able to teach your specific child so that they respond to your instructions. Ask God to lead you!
I want to take a moment to talk about God’s faithfulness. The Equipped To Be Podcast has reached a major milestone. With this episode and the transition to Season 3, we have marked three years of episodes! There were ups and downs along the way, but I’m so excited to have shared this journey with you!
The Equipped To Be Podcast launched in February 2020 right before the world was turned upside down by the pandemic. I couldn’t have done this without the team who works with me to get these episodes out to you each week. We wouldn’t still be on the air without you, the listeners, or our partners and sponsors. It’s such a testament to God’s faithfulness.
Equipped To Be isn’t just about one topic. We talk about things spanning the spectrum from parenting to education to faith and so much more because it’s all about helping you know and understand that you’re equipped to be a doer of God’s word. You have a calling and a purpose.
Many thanks also go to the guests who’ve been on the show. (See a list of some notable episodes below.) I also owe a shout-out to Libsyn, my host, who supported me and gave me guidance along the way.
This podcast started because Amanda Pelser from The Pelsers Media was sitting in my office and talking about starting the podcast. I didn’t have the technical skills to pull this off, but Amanda said she’d help me. She and her husband, Josh, have been with me from the beginning of this podcast!
Many days, I would come into the studio and just pray, “Lord, what do you want me to do?” I’d script it out or make some notes and then hit record. Then Amanda would clean and polish it and deliver it to you. Every step of the way, you were in mind because we don’t want to waste your time. It’s too precious and too valuable.
When God tells you to start something, just start. Start ugly as a book from a friend of mine says in its title. Start with what you have. Do the best you can. Go and grow as God leads. This is what we’ve done with Equipped To Be. We’ve added features over time like images and show notes and we continue to add value as God gives us the tools and resources to do so.
Would you take a moment and help us out? Your support means the world to us!
Join our email list using the box below
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I can’t tell you what’s coming next. I’ve been in a very difficult season. I’ve had to strip away many things in my life and ask the Lord what He wants me to add back in. I do know that I have some exciting guests lined up to share stories that will help you in your journey. Back in 2020, I didn’t know if we’d last more than six months, but here we are, still bringing you encouragement. Thank you for listening. This is your milestone as much as it is ours.
How do you manage boredom? Boredom plagues us all at one time or another. No one is immune to it. Boredom is often a sign that you’re tired of the same things over and over, even if you like routine. But, boredom is actually a good thing. It means that you have time and margin in your day to stop and think. Boredom means you have the space for creativity, innovation, and adventure rather than a robotic existence.
3 Steps to Managing Boredom
Identify the Boredom
First, identify boredom for what it is. Even those of us who love routine and order get tired of the same thing over and over again. We get sick of mindless actions and repetitive tasks. The routines are good and part of living a productive life, but we also need the space to dream and problem-solve. Sometimes boredom is a result of feeling stuck and needing a change.
Reframe Your Thoughts
Next, you need to reframe your thoughts. So much is being said about mindfulness these days. Be careful of what you allow to come into your mind and occupy space. What are you dwelling on? Focus on gratitude whatever the season or situation you’re in right now.
Find Ways to Redirect Bored Kids (and Adults!)
How can you redirect your children (or yourself!) when boredom sets in? Try some of these suggestions for managing boredom:
Do something out of the ordinary
Play with an old toy in a new way
Listen to an audiobook
Watch video tutorials
Do something physical and active
Find a way to do something faster
Create a challenge for yourself
Find a way to be more efficient or effective
Make a gratitude list
Connect with someone
Flip the schedule around
Some of your kids would be changing things up every day if given the chance and others freak out when you mess with their routine. Find a balance in your days of routine and adventure. Remember: that there isn’t anything wrong with being bored. Use that boredom and discontentment to show your kids how to be innovators and grateful people.
Have you heard about OpenAI? It’s all over the news right now and kids are learning to use this platform to their advantage. It is so easy to use OpenAI to cheat. As parents, we need to look at how to curb cheating with OpenAI.
What is OpenAI?
OpenAI is a software platform that uses data scraped from all over the internet to write content. This isn’t a new thing, but it is now widely available to the general public for free. It’s just now becoming a resource that your kids could use for cheating.
What Makes Your Child Consider Cheating?
When there are options like OpenAI at their fingertips, cheating is a major temptation. What makes kids cheat? I talk a lot about strengths and personalities. So, it is essential to know each of your children and why they would make the decision to cheat. Some kids feel the pressure to measure up academically and feel like they can’t keep up. Some kids lack self-confidence. Some kids are afraid to fail. Why would your child cheat?
How to Stop Cheating with OpenAI
How do we as parents stop this cheating with OpenAI? There are three things that you can do to set the stage and curb cheating with OpenAI and really any form of cheating or lack of integrity in your kids.
Set The Standard
It takes more than just a simple “don’t cheat” conversation to keep your kids from cheating. My kids will tell you that I sounded like a broken record at times during their childhood. I would regularly repeat phrases like: The Albers don’t cheat. The Albers don’t lie. This has to be internalized by each child and become a part of who they were. You have to declare the standard!
Model Integrity and Honesty
Your kids are watching you. They are listening to you. If they see you stretching the truth and taking shady shortcuts, they are going to follow in your footsteps. Have integrity. Lead your kids by example.
Show Your Child The Way Back from Cheating
Makes sure that your child knows that if they do cheat, there is a way to get back on track. There will be a consequence that has to be paid, but they can make a better choice the next time. Guide them back while loving them unconditionally.
