Tasks. Work. Chores. Whatever you call them, there are things that need to be done in your home, and frankly, no one really wants to have to do them. Since the magic fairy isn’t going to be arriving anytime soon to handle these things, we as parents have to find a way to motivate our kids to get their share of the work done. I found that every age and stage and child requires a little different tactic and mindset, but it always comes back to adding an element of fun.
This episode is sponsored by BJU Press Homeschool. Visit bjupresshomeschool.com for trusted educational resources from a biblical worldview.
An Element of Fun in Daily Tasks
As Mary Poppins so famously said, “In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun.”
That fun might be adding a timer to see how fast the job can be completed. This is great for your competitive kids. It might mean promising an outside fun activity after the work is finished. When we make it fun, everyone’s attitude is better, even yours!
The way that you phrase or present the tasks makes a difference. This requires thinking about your child’s unique personality and motivations. What will get this child excited about doing something? I know there are some kids who just have more of a bent toward murmuring and complaining, and it will take more work to get to a joyful heart for those kids. But, I’ve found that for most kids, offering a treat or reward activity really helps.
Sometimes your child’s creative ways will actually make the tasks take longer. That’s ok. Don’t squash their creativity. Let them use those skills and gifts. Sometimes it lightens the mood and makes everyone have more fun. Just be aware of your very responsible child who just wants to get the job done. They might be bothered by a sibling who stretches out the time it takes to do a task.
I’ve talked many times about journaling and keeping notes about your child. What motivates, excites, and delights your children? Use these insights to help motivate them to get the hard, boring, mundane things done.
By incorporating fun into everyday chores, parents can foster unity and collaboration, and ignite their child’s imagination. You’re instilling in them character qualities that will be written on their hearts for a lifetime. One day, your kids will sit around the table, when they are adults and don’t have to be there, and they will remember these days and how you made daily tasks fun.
A news outlet recently asked me to talk about the boom in homeschooling. Why is there such a surge of parents choosing to homeschool their kids? I’m a little surprised they couldn’t see the answer based on the news they are reporting. My kids are grown and having kids of their own, but I’m even more passionate about homeschooling now than I was years ago when I was homeschooling my own kids. It’s important that you as a parent find your voice in the midst of the noise of this struggle with educators. Who knows your child best? You? Or an educator?
My passion for homeschooling started because I wanted a close family and figured I could teach them the basics just as well as the public school could. My perspective on why to homeschool has changed over the years. Now, it’s more about families. I care about families and our nation. I see the design and purpose for which God created families.
Those who hold the purse strings of the American educational system do not want dissenting opinions. They don’t want your children to be able to compete in the global marketplace. There is a dumbing down of America in process and yet educators and administrators have the audacity to tell parents that they don’t know what they are doing when it comes to educating their own children. They assert that they are the ones who know your child best.
You Know Your Child Best!
My advice to you as the parent is this: Don’t accept it when you’re told you don’t have a voice in your child’s education! You as the parent are the one who knows your child best!
When a wedge is driven between parents and children, our children become fair game for any ideology that anyone wants to teach them. The reality is that God gave you your children and they are your responsibility to teach and train. There’s an army of folks who are against you and don’t believe that parents are or should be the primary influence on their child’s life.
We are told to shut up and go along, but the reality is that it is your job to be the primary influence in your child’s life. I’m sure that many of us don’t speak because we don’t want to be targeted. Please, don’t abdicate this role in your child’s life! You are enough for your kids. Again, you are the one who knows your child best! Most of parenting is figuring out what you’re going to do in any given situation. What is best for your child? What is best for your family? God shows you the way.
Hold onto this: You’re going to get it right more than an educator who sees your child a limited number of hours a week during the school year. It’s not about perfection. It’s about God’s design for the family and knowing that you’re equipped by God to be the parent your child needs.
What can you do? You can decide now what the priority is for your family. Keep your focus there. We want our children to want to be with us and spend time with us as they get older but these strong relationships must be built now while they are kids, before they leave your home.
I met Ana Bagnuoli many years ago at a homeschooling conference in Florida. Together with her husband, they began serving the Hispanic community and talking about homeschooling. The ministry has grown to the point that they now have a homeschooling conference for Spanish-speaking homeschoolers. Ana has such a passion for homeschooling in the Hispanic community and I’m so excited to introduce you to her!
In this episode, Ana and I discuss:
How Ana and I met
The need for homeschooling materials in Spanish
Serving Hispanic homeschoolers in Florida
Expanding the ministry and the founding of TranistionEd
The importance of family
Starting the first homeschooling conference for Spanish-speakers
Homeschooling in the Hispanic community is growing. Share this ministry with your Spanish-speaking friends and neighbors!
About Ana Bagnuoli
Ricardo Bagnuoli born in Montevideo, Uruguay and Ana María born in Bogotá, Colombia, have been married for 14 years and are the founders of TransitionED, a non-profit organization established in the United States in 2017 that trains and equips Hispanic families on how to transform their homes in the best and first place of learning. Ana and Ricardo believe that education is a design and a tool to discover, nurture and promote God-given purpose for each child. Ana and Ricardo moved to the United States over 20 years ago and learned from scratch what homeschooling truly is. They discovered homeschooling in 2012 at a short workshop and made the decision to follow the call to become mentors and teachers to their children. They are the parents of 3 homeschoolers ages 9, 11, and 13 and they have a strong business and academic background that has helped them implement homeschooling effectively and productively in their own home. They enjoy watching other families grow, they like to cook together, read, write, do business and also camp outdoors. In 2022 Ricardo and Ana created the first Hispanic Homeschooling Conference “Educa Por Diseño” in the nation gathered hundreds of people in Miami, FL including leaders at the local, national, and international level. Ricardo and Ana have become pioneers in the Hispanic homeschooling community with more than 10 years of experience as educators, ministers, and business owners.
Ricardo and Ana María have dedicated themselves to sharing their vision as educators of their children, as entrepreneurs, and as ministers of Biblical principles for life. They are passionate about serving other families and their home is a reflection of what they live and teach others. They currently reside in the United States, Florida and are dedicated to serving the community. Ricardo and Ana María see homeschooling as a lifestyle where education unifies the family nucleus and the learning process is done as a team.
References and Links
The following may contain affiliate links.
Visit Ana’s website and learn about the conference
Do you allow your kids to participate in sleepovers? I’m personally not a fan of blanket directives because each family is unique. You have to make a decision about what is best for your family based on the pros and cons of having sleepovers.
I was recently on Fox 35 Orlando to talk about the pros and cons of sleepovers. It’s hard to have an in-depth discussion on a topic like this in four minutes, so I’d like to dig in a little deeper here on the podcast with you.
Did you go to sleepovers when you were a kid? If you did, what happened at those sleepovers? There was likely a lot of talking about other people, eating sugar, and staying up all night. Maybe you did things you probably shouldn’t do along the way. Maybe your experiences make you say never to sleepovers. Maybe you had great experiences with sleepovers that you want your kids to have as well.
Pros of Sleepovers
Here are some pros of participating in sleepovers:
Social development in an unstructured, relaxed environment
Cultivation of independence in your child
Creation of defining, lasting memories and friendships
Space to learn to make good decisions and problem solve
Building trust with parents and friends
Cons of Sleepovers
What about the cons of sleepovers? There are downsides such as:
Possibility for bullying
Shattering of trust
Inappropriate behavior
Exposure to drugs and alcohol
Sleep deprivation and its results or consequences
Disruption of routines
Exclusion of some children
Is There a Middle Ground on Sleepovers for Your Family?
Before you choose to take an always-or-never stance on sleepovers, I challenge you to think outside the box and see if there’s another path that might work for your family. It’s important to know your children. It’s critical to have good communication. If you choose to allow or host sleepovers, know and communicate what you expect of your kids and those participating.
In the Albers’ family, we were generally not pro going to other homes for sleepovers. Some of this had to do with our family size and dynamics. I couldn’t have five kids running to five different places. Because my kids’ extracurricular activities, we were also often busy on the weekends making a Friday night sleepover difficult to participate in those activities the rest of the weekend. We built a life that was busy or full to meet the goals and needs of our family. Sleepovers didn’t naturally fit into that plan for us most of the time.
Here are some additional things to consider to help you decide if sleepovers are good for your family:
Why are you opposed to or hesitant to let your child attend sleepovers?
Is there a legitimate concern for your child?
Is this is a declaration that your friends have made?
Did you have a bad experience with sleepovers?
Do you know everybody who will be there?
Will the parents be home?
How many kids are expected to attend?
Is this a party or a time to hang out with close friends?
Ask your child why they want to go.
Ask questions to gauge whether your kid can stand up to peer pressure and awkward situations.
Open, honest communication is the key to all of this. Be sure to take the time to explain the responsibility and the dangers that come with sleepovers, wherever your family decides to land on the subject.
Join me in the next episode where we will dive a little deeper into the topic of hosting sleepovers!
New York Times Bestselling author Larry Loftis is back on the show to talk about the story behind his newest novel. In this spy thriller, Larry tells the story of the life of Corrie ten Boom. Many of us are familiar with the story from The Hiding Place but that is maybe about ten percent of the story of Corrie’s life. There’s so much more to tell as Larry learned in his research. It’s a story of extraordinary forgiveness.
Larry and I talk about
Why and how Larry chose Corrie ten Boom as the main character for this spy thriller
The research went into Corrie’s life that went into this book
The role of Corrie’s father in her life
Corrie’s extraordinary forgiveness towards those who seem unforgivable
Will Larry’s books be made into movies?
How Larry’s books portray remarkable women
and more!
Be sure to pick up a copy of The Watchmaker’s Daughter and share it with your family!
About Larry Loftis
Larry Loftis is the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and international bestselling author of the nonfiction spy thrillers THE PRINCESS SPY: The True Story of World War II Spy Aline Griffith, Countess of Romanones; CODE NAME: LISE: The True Story of the Woman Who Became WWII’s Most Highly Decorated Spy; and INTO THE LION’S MOUTH: The True Story of Dusko Popov—World War II Spy, Patriot, and the Real-Life Inspiration for James Bond. His fourth book, THE WATCHMAKER’S DAUGHTER: The True Story of World War II Heroine Corrie ten Boom, will be released by HarperCollins on March 7, 2023.
A two-time winner of the Florida Book Award, his books have been translated into numerous languages and can be found in Spain, Portugal, Netherlands, Italy, Serbia, Czech Republic, Taiwan, India, Australia, New Zealand, and throughout the UK.
Before becoming a full-time writer, Larry was an AV-rated corporate attorney and adjunct professor of law. His academic legal works have been published in the National Law Journal, Florida Bar Journal, and the law reviews of the University of Florida, University of Georgia, and Suffolk University. He received his undergraduate and law degrees from the University of Florida, where he served on the Law Review as the Senior Executive Editor and Senior Articles Editor.
Do you have kids who resist your instructions? You tell them to do something and they don’t do it. You beg. You lecture. You try to explain why. But, they don’t do what you say or they simply ignore you. Why do children resist instructions?
5 Reasons Why Children Resist Instruction
In this episode, we’re digging into why children resist instructions. There are five reasons you might be experiencing this resistance. Let’s dig into them!
Communication Breakdown
Sometimes, there’s a communication breakdown. Maybe your child feels ignored or dismissed or misunderstood. Kids are trying their best to communicate how they feel and think but their communication skills might be underdeveloped or maybe they are afraid you will overreact. When we don’t get to the heart of the matter, resentment can start brewing. When we don’t deal with this resentment it can lead to more resistance and then rejection.
Power Struggles
Another reason kids resist our instruction is because of power struggles. Your child might feel like you’re trying to control them or take away their freedom. As your kids grow, it’s natural for them to make more of the decisions in their life. You might see this as rebellion. Honestly, neither of you is thinking right about the situation and better communication is needed.
Need to Make Decisions
As your kids get older you have to give them more ability to make decisions and give input. At certain ages and with certain temperaments, if you try to push without explaining why or having a feeling of trust. You have to give your kids the time and space to work things out. Ask them how they would handle things even if you think there’s a better way and let them try or explain why they must follow through on your instruction in this instance.
Differing Priorities
Another reason children resist instruction is differing priorities. Your attention is captivated by all the things that need to be done, while your child might have another focus. You have a feeling of responsibility that is at a level that your child lacks depending on age and maturity. Maybe you’re expecting more of them than they are capable of at this time.
Lack of Understanding
Finally, there’s a lack of understanding. Your child might not understand the reason behind your instruction. This leads to confusion and frustration, which brings on disobedience and resistance. They need to see why doing this thing matters.
Parenting for the Future
Remember that you’re not parenting for the here and now. The things you’re teaching and reinforcing now are the habits and patterns that will follow your kids for a lifetime. Take time to understand your child’s perspective, have reasonable expectations, and give choices when possible. God has given you the skills, the tools, and the resources to be able to teach your specific child so that they respond to your instructions. Ask God to lead you!
