How can we raise boys to men when society has lost its way? As a mom of three boys, I understand the importance of raising boys in the future of our society. That’s why I invited Mark Hancock, CEO of Trial Life USA, to join me to share what parents, grandparents, coaches, and ministry leaders can do.
Too many boys are turning to virtual worlds, including television, video games, digital media, and the internet, to find realms they can conquer and areas where they can excel. The result of this virtual conquest is often apathy, apparent rebellion, or outright resistance to real-world challenges. However, you can shape and guide your boys on their journey to becoming men.
In this honest look at raising boys, we outline essential principles for raising boys to become godly, responsible men of integrity, honesty, and determination. Mark and I share invaluable insights and practical wisdom gleaned from years of experience in mentoring and guiding young men toward a fulfilling life. One filled with meaning and purpose.
Raising Boys of Integrity and Honesty
Lead by Example: Boys learn a great deal from observing the behavior of adults, particularly their parents and other influential figures. And don’t forget to model honesty and integrity in your own actions and interactions. Be transparent about your own mistakes and demonstrate how to take responsibility and make amends when necessary. By consistently embodying these values, you provide a powerful example for boys to emulate.
Encourage Open Communication: Foster an environment that promotes open communication, where boys feel safe to express themselves honestly and without fear of judgment. Encourage them to openly share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences, and actively listen to what they have to say. Engage in discussions about moral dilemmas, ethical decision-making, and the importance of honesty in relationships. Promoting open dialogue creates opportunities for boys to develop a deeper understanding of integrity and honesty and how these values apply to various aspects of their lives.
Navigating Challenges in Today’s Culture
Establish Clear Values and Boundaries: We help boys navigate challenges in today’s culture by establishing clear values and boundaries from an early age. Discuss with them your family’s values, such as respect, kindness, and empathy, and explain why these values are important to you. Encourage critical thinking and help them analyze media messages, social trends, and peer influences in light of these values. Parents empower boys to make informed decisions and resist negative influences by providing a strong moral compass and clear guidelines.
Promote Resilience and Problem-Solving Skills: Equip boys with the resilience and problem-solving skills they need to navigate challenges in today’s culture effectively. Encourage them to view setbacks as opportunities for growth and learning. Teach them coping strategies for managing stress, adversity, and peer pressure, such as deep breathing, positive self-talk, and seeking support from trusted adults. By fostering resilience and problem-solving skills, parents empower boys to face challenges with confidence, adaptability, and perseverance.
Raising Boys to Godly Men
Boys need a father or a father-like figure in their lives to look up to and learn from, showing them what it means to be a man. Study after study backs that up. Boys learn how to be persistent by providing supportive feedback and encouragement.
We help boys build determination and resilience by setting achievable goals and encouraging them to persistently work towards them. Break down larger goals into smaller, manageable tasks, and celebrate their progress along the way. Encourage them to develop a growth mindset, viewing challenges as opportunities for growth rather than obstacles to success. By instilling a sense of purpose and direction, boys learn to stay focused and resilient in the face of setbacks.
We need to offer boys supportive feedback and encouragement to foster determination and resilience. Recognize their efforts and progress, emphasizing their strengths and resilience in overcoming obstacles. Encourage them to reflect on their experiences, identify lessons learned, and celebrate their achievements, no matter how small. By providing a nurturing and affirming environment, boys develop the confidence and resilience to persevere through difficulties and pursue their goals with determination.
About Mark Hancock
Mark T. Hancock began his career by founding an advertising agency that grew to national prominence over the course of fifteen years. His conversion to Christ led him into ministry as a Youth and College Pastor, Associate Pastor, Homeless Ministry Director, and Global Event Director for an international ministry, organizing events on five continents.
An award-winning author, writer, and conference speaker, he serves as the Chief Executive Officer of Trail Life USA and resides near Greenville, SC, with his wife of over 30 years. They have two sons.
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Are you raising interdependent, independent, or co-dependent children? What you decide can have a huge impact on your children. Lori Wildenberg and I discuss why we need to raise interdependent children and how it can reduce their anxiety while increasing family connectedness.
As a mother of four adult children and a licensed parent and family educator, Lori shares her unique perspective on what is happening to families and how parents can reduce their children’s anxiety throughout the parenting journey.
Independent Children
Throughout our years, Lori and I have come across numerous experts who promote the idea of cultivating independence in children. They argue that it equips them with the confidence to navigate the world successfully. While this notion holds some truth, it falls short when considering the significance of maintaining familial connections after leaving home. In fostering independence, there is a risk of inadvertently instilling a belief that an individual can thrive without the support of others.
Co-dependent Children
Conversely, certain parents display an extreme level of protectiveness towards their children, refraining from making decisions independently due to apprehension of making a mistake. This co-dependency often leads to a diminished sense of confidence.
Interdependent Children
Interdependency plays a vital role in our lives. It encompasses relying on others for moral, emotional, and spiritual support. When a child has a strong bond with their parents, this connection often continues even after they leave home. It’s not driven by obligation or guilt, but rather by the reassurance of knowing that someone will be there for them as they navigate the world around them.
Find a Balance
We want our children to be able to make decisions on their own. We don’t want them to be insecure and completely rely on us. That’s why we must consider how we raise our children.
When you focus on raising interdependent children, you can reduce your child’s anxiety and strengthen family connectedness.
About Lori Wildenberg
Helping families build relationships that last a lifetime is Lori Wildenberg’s passion. Lori, a licensed parent and family educator, is a national speaker and award-winning author or coauthor of six parenting books listed below. The Wildenberg home is nestled in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. Lori is Mom to four, Mom-in-Love to three, and Mimi to four. A perfect day in Lori’s world is a hike with Tom (her hubby) and their growing family!
Do you worry? Seems like every time you turn around, there’s another headline that strikes fear and causes worry these days. What about your kids? Do you worry about them? Do you worry you will ruin them? Do you worry about the things they will have to face? What can you do about worry? Well, Keri Eichberger is with me in this episode to talk about these big issues surrounding worry. Keri offers encouraging insights and reminds us of the power of God’s truth in conquering worry and finding peace in all seasons of life. You can win over worry!
In this episode, Keri and I discuss:
Keri’s family dynamics with five children and how that lends itself to an environment of worrying
How you can help someone if you are just one step ahead of them
The distinction between genuine concern and worry
Understanding the root fears behind worry, which often include a fear of helplessness and a fear of being unloved or unworthy
Understanding God’s unconditional love and his power
Overcoming worry by seeking God’s truth, turning to prayer, embracing community, studying the Bible, and other spiritual practices
Acknowledging that some individuals may be more predisposed to worry due to their wiring, but still emphasizing the same things work for those people
Keri’s example of a fear of flying and trusting God
Worry is common and we all face it. But, worry is not from God and you can overcome it through the power of God who lives in you!
About Keri Eichberger
Keri Eichberger lives just outside of Louisville, Kentucky, with her husband Mike and their five kids. Her own roller coaster of life trials, redeemed by a relationship with the Lord, fueled her desire to help others discover and experience the fullness of life found in Jesus. After years of writing for an online audience, she became ordained through Southeast Christian Church, giving her life to full-time ministry. She continues to follow her calling to bring faith-filled encouragement to others around the world through her social media influence, devotionals, Faith Fueled podcast, and Christian nonfiction books.
The new school year is upon us. If you’re like most families, there’s some upheaval going on as you figure out new routines and rhythms for meals and bedtime, and more. As you work on getting everyone back into the swing of things again, developing resilience is key to smooth days. What is resiliency and why is it important?
I’m asked frequently when I travel and speak about routines and rhythms. I speak regularly about developing resilience and being resourceful. It doesn’t matter if you’re a public, private, or homeschooler, everyone goes through an adjustment period at the beginning of a new school year.
What’s the goal? What’s the schedule? I’m not personally one that plans comprehensively because by 8:05 am my plans had gone out the window, but, I do like having order. During this adjustment period, it is helpful for you to manage your expectations of your kids and help manage their expectations.
Your children need to learn that when needed, they should pivot and adjust. This is being resilient. When you get knocked down, you get back up. It’s learning how to figure things out and overcome obstacles. Some of your kids are naturally resilient. When something happens, they stay positive and optimistic. Other children are leveled when something doesn’t go right and they have a hard time figuring out how to cope. These kids need a little more support in learning how to be resilient.
Remember that we’re talking about your child’s life. You can’t fix every situation for them, nor should you. As their parent, you should help, guide, and lead them. Help them develop problem-solving skills. Also remeber that choosing your words carefully in these situations also improves your relationship with them.
Communication is key and relationship is the end goal. You want to be the voice that your child seeks out when they face set backs. Developing resilience in them now will stick with them well into adulthood.
As I’ve traveled this summer, I’ve heard many people talk about being tired and overwhelmed. Just like you, I can’t get everything on my list done in a day! As a part of a recent conference, I participated in a retreat. So today I’m sharing with you the importance of retreating, just as Jesus did in the Bible. There is an urgent need to retreat! Let’s talk about this need for finding quietness and rest amidst the chaos of life and how retreating can provide strength, joy, and a renewed connection with God.
Sometimes quiet is something that we have to make happen. This act of retreating keeps us steady in the midst of chaos and near the heart of God.
“In quietness and rest is your strength.” – Isaiah 30:15
I’ve learned that if we don’t make time for this quiet and stillness, sometimes it is thrust upon us. It is vital that we retreat so we have the needed quiet to allow our minds to be still. God provides strength to us when we retreat. Rest moves us from burnout to breakthrough. Our lives are so busy, and these things are robbing us of the time that we need to be in God’s presence.
When I say retreat, I’m not talking about activities that require money or days away. I’m referring to the simple daily time alone with God.
In Genesis, God modeled the practice of rest after He finished creating. In the Gospels, Jesus modeled getting away from the crowds. If God Himself rested and retreated, it seems that we should follow His example. It is a lifeline for us!
“But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” – Luke 5:16
Exactly how you do this will look a little different from another person. Maybe you do this by taking a walk, sitting on the porch, or a chair where you can sit alone. You might be able to retreat for a minute or ten minutes or an hour.
Also, remember that your children are watching you. They will see how you take this time away with God and how you make spending that time a priority.
Things to consider:
Where can you retreat?
How long can you retreat?
What does God want to say to you?
More Verses to Ponder:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28
“He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul.” – Psalm 23:2-3
“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.” – Psalm 37:7
“Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, ‘Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.'” – Mark 6:31
“Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.” – Psalm 116:7
“The Lord replied, ‘My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.'” – Exodus 33:14
As the fall season approaches, I encourage you to incorporate retreating into your daily lives. I challenge you to add a time of retreat to your calendar. Guard that time like you do taking your children to their various activities. By carving out moments for stillness and communion with God, we can find strength, joy, and direction in the midst of life’s chaos.
I met Doris Swift a few years ago, shortly before we both started our podcasts. I’ve been a guest on her show and I’m delighted to introduce you to her in this episode. She’s an author, podcaster, and founder of Fierce Calling Ministries. Listen in as we talk about embracing your fierce calling in using your gifts, navigating challenges, and embracing the seasons in your lives.
This episode is sponsored by BJU Press Homeschool. Visit bjupresshomeschool.com for trusted educational resources from a biblical worldview.
Doris and I discuss:
Doris’ passion for encouraging and equipping women to walk deeper in God’s word and use their gifts to impact the world for Christ.
Being grandparents
What if I’m missing my calling?
The importance of embracing different seasons of life, including motherhood
The importance of not comparing ourselves to others
Facing trials and challenges, such as the destruction of Doris’ home by a hurricane
Finding strength and joy in Christ
The need for community and supporting one another in difficult times
The story behind Surrender the Joy Stealers, a 6-week Bible study
How we don’t know the depth of the stories of the people we cross paths with
I hope this episode inspired and equipped you to seek out the “joy stealers” in your life!
About Doris Swift
Doris Swift is an author, speaker, founder of Fierce Calling Ministries, and podcast host of the award-winning Fierce Calling Podcast. In ministry for more than thirty years, Doris is passionate about encouraging and equipping women to walk deeper in God’s word, take action where their passion, compassion, and conviction intersect, and use their God-given gifts to impact the world for Christ.
She is the author of Surrender the Joy Stealers: Rediscover the Jesus Joy in You, a six-week Bible study rooted in John 15, which was released in May 2023 by Elk Lake Publishers, Inc.
Doris’s writing has been featured on popular sites and in magazines such as (in)courage, Just Between Us Magazine, Life Letter Café, Thrive Global, Purposeful Faith, Arise Daily, and Spark Media Magazine. Doris contributed a chapter to the award-winning book compilation We May Be Done But We’re Not Finished by author Deb DeArmond, published by Elk Lake Publishing, Inc. She holds a Bachelor of Science in Interdisciplinary Studies from Liberty University in Christian counseling, psychology, and business.
Doris currently resides in Florida with her awesomely supportive husband Brian, is mom to two amazing grown-ups and a daughter-in-love and son-in-love, and gammy to six wonderful grandkids she adores.
