How can we raise boys to men when society has lost its way? As a mom of three boys, I understand the importance of raising boys in the future of our society. That’s why I invited Mark Hancock, CEO of Trial Life USA, to join me to share what parents, grandparents, coaches, and ministry leaders can do.
Too many boys are turning to virtual worlds, including television, video games, digital media, and the internet, to find realms they can conquer and areas where they can excel. The result of this virtual conquest is often apathy, apparent rebellion, or outright resistance to real-world challenges. However, you can shape and guide your boys on their journey to becoming men.
In this honest look at raising boys, we outline essential principles for raising boys to become godly, responsible men of integrity, honesty, and determination. Mark and I share invaluable insights and practical wisdom gleaned from years of experience in mentoring and guiding young men toward a fulfilling life. One filled with meaning and purpose.
Raising Boys of Integrity and Honesty
Lead by Example: Boys learn a great deal from observing the behavior of adults, particularly their parents and other influential figures. And don’t forget to model honesty and integrity in your own actions and interactions. Be transparent about your own mistakes and demonstrate how to take responsibility and make amends when necessary. By consistently embodying these values, you provide a powerful example for boys to emulate.
Encourage Open Communication: Foster an environment that promotes open communication, where boys feel safe to express themselves honestly and without fear of judgment. Encourage them to openly share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences, and actively listen to what they have to say. Engage in discussions about moral dilemmas, ethical decision-making, and the importance of honesty in relationships. Promoting open dialogue creates opportunities for boys to develop a deeper understanding of integrity and honesty and how these values apply to various aspects of their lives.
Navigating Challenges in Today’s Culture
Establish Clear Values and Boundaries: We help boys navigate challenges in today’s culture by establishing clear values and boundaries from an early age. Discuss with them your family’s values, such as respect, kindness, and empathy, and explain why these values are important to you. Encourage critical thinking and help them analyze media messages, social trends, and peer influences in light of these values. Parents empower boys to make informed decisions and resist negative influences by providing a strong moral compass and clear guidelines.
Promote Resilience and Problem-Solving Skills: Equip boys with the resilience and problem-solving skills they need to navigate challenges in today’s culture effectively. Encourage them to view setbacks as opportunities for growth and learning. Teach them coping strategies for managing stress, adversity, and peer pressure, such as deep breathing, positive self-talk, and seeking support from trusted adults. By fostering resilience and problem-solving skills, parents empower boys to face challenges with confidence, adaptability, and perseverance.
Raising Boys to Godly Men
Boys need a father or a father-like figure in their lives to look up to and learn from, showing them what it means to be a man. Study after study backs that up. Boys learn how to be persistent by providing supportive feedback and encouragement.
We help boys build determination and resilience by setting achievable goals and encouraging them to persistently work towards them. Break down larger goals into smaller, manageable tasks, and celebrate their progress along the way. Encourage them to develop a growth mindset, viewing challenges as opportunities for growth rather than obstacles to success. By instilling a sense of purpose and direction, boys learn to stay focused and resilient in the face of setbacks.
We need to offer boys supportive feedback and encouragement to foster determination and resilience. Recognize their efforts and progress, emphasizing their strengths and resilience in overcoming obstacles. Encourage them to reflect on their experiences, identify lessons learned, and celebrate their achievements, no matter how small. By providing a nurturing and affirming environment, boys develop the confidence and resilience to persevere through difficulties and pursue their goals with determination.
About Mark Hancock
Mark T. Hancock began his career by founding an advertising agency that grew to national prominence over the course of fifteen years. His conversion to Christ led him into ministry as a Youth and College Pastor, Associate Pastor, Homeless Ministry Director, and Global Event Director for an international ministry, organizing events on five continents.
An award-winning author, writer, and conference speaker, he serves as the Chief Executive Officer of Trail Life USA and resides near Greenville, SC, with his wife of over 30 years. They have two sons.
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When should I give my child a smartphone? What is the perfect age? Some parents want to wait until the later teen years, while others think the tween years are better. Is there a right age?
Most parents have doubts about when their child should have a phone. They also, have different ideas of what is appropriate for their child. Here’s the truth: There is no one perfect age when a child should get a smartphone. There are pros and cons to consider before making such an important decision.
What Some Experts Recommend
Prior to the pandemic, the recommended age was when the child entered the eighth grade. And that might be a good age for some of your children. However, now the suggested age is between 10-14, or during middle school, which is the perfect age because kids are still very connected to their parents. They rely on their parents to shuttle them around, which makes teaching a child proper smartphone usage easier.
Also, research indicates most children have already had access to a smartphone by middle school. So, parents need to have smartphone conversations early to establish guidelines and family rules before unacceptable habits get formed.
Since some recommend giving a child a smartphone, how should we decide what is best for our child?
Why Kids Need a Smartphone: Factors to Consider for Safety and Independence
Living in separate households or gaining independence during the middle school years, there are valid reasons why children may require a smartphone at a younger age. Providing a means for them to stay connected fosters a sense of security and peace of mind.
Increased independence: As kids grow and become involved in work, sports, and travel, a smartphone grants them the freedom to coordinate plans, stay connected with peers, and navigate their schedules more efficiently.
Enhanced Safety: With children spending more time alone at home or engaging in various activities, a smartphone allows them to reach out during emergencies or moments of distress, alleviating anxiety and ensuring their well-being.
As parents, it is crucial to evaluate both the necessity and preparedness of your child before providing them with a phone. By considering these factors, you can make an informed decision that prioritizes their safety and development.
Smartphone Readiness: Key Factors to Consider
When contemplating whether to give a child a smartphone, it is important to assess their readiness based on several essential markers:
Displays Good Judgment: Observing sound decision-making skills and responsible behavior in other aspects of their life indicates the level of maturity needed for smartphone usage.
Trustworthy and Open Communication: A child who can be relied upon to approach you with problems and admit their mistakes demonstrates a level of trustworthiness necessary for responsibly handling a smartphone.
Adherence to Rules: Willingness to agree to and follow established rules regarding device usage, including time limits and appropriate content, showcases their ability to exercise self-discipline and respect boundaries.
Deciding to grant a child a smartphone should be done thoughtfully and with prayerful consideration. It is acceptable to wait until you see signs of maturity and feel a sense of peace about the decision.
Signs that Indicate a Child Might Not Be Ready for a Smartphone
It is important to consider various factors before deciding whether a child is ready for a smartphone. Here are some signs that indicate a child might not be ready:
Your own readiness: If you, as a parent, feel hesitant or unprepared to introduce a smartphone to your child, it may be a sign that they are not ready.
False pressure: If there is a sense of external pressure, such as peer or societal influence, to provide a phone to your child, it may not be the right time.
Lacking social decision-making ability: Children who have not yet developed the necessary skills to make responsible decisions in social contexts may not be prepared for the challenges and distractions that come with owning a smartphone.
Age considerations: There are many psychologists who suggest that children under the age of 14 may not be ready to navigate the potential distractions and temptations associated with smartphones.
Ultimately, every child is different, and determining their readiness for a smartphone requires careful consideration of their individual maturity, responsibility, and ability to handle the device’s potential impact on their well-being and development. And to consider the impact on your relationship.
What Should You Do Before Buying A Smartphone
Deciding whether a child is ready for a smartphone is just the initial consideration. Prior to purchasing a device, it is essential to ensure both you and your child are fully prepared for what lies ahead. This requires preparation and maintaining ongoing communication, encompassing the following steps:
Establishing mutual agreement on ground rules, including designated screen-free times.
Configuring parental controls and carefully selecting suitable apps.
Engaging in open conversations about potential online content they may encounter.
Familiarizing yourselves with digital etiquette and safety guidelines.
Formulating a written agreement that outlines the responsibilities and expectations associated with smartphone usage.
Do not succumb to external pressure when it comes to granting your child a phone. As the parent, you possess the insight to determine what your child genuinely needs and what aligns with your family’s values. Remember, you have the authority to establish and modify rules and guidelines as necessary to ensure a positive and safe digital environment for your child. A device is a tool. It’s up to you to know when your child is ready for a smartphone.
Are you raising interdependent, independent, or co-dependent children? What you decide can have a huge impact on your children. Lori Wildenberg and I discuss why we need to raise interdependent children and how it can reduce their anxiety while increasing family connectedness.
As a mother of four adult children and a licensed parent and family educator, Lori shares her unique perspective on what is happening to families and how parents can reduce their children’s anxiety throughout the parenting journey.
Independent Children
Throughout our years, Lori and I have come across numerous experts who promote the idea of cultivating independence in children. They argue that it equips them with the confidence to navigate the world successfully. While this notion holds some truth, it falls short when considering the significance of maintaining familial connections after leaving home. In fostering independence, there is a risk of inadvertently instilling a belief that an individual can thrive without the support of others.
Co-dependent Children
Conversely, certain parents display an extreme level of protectiveness towards their children, refraining from making decisions independently due to apprehension of making a mistake. This co-dependency often leads to a diminished sense of confidence.
Interdependent Children
Interdependency plays a vital role in our lives. It encompasses relying on others for moral, emotional, and spiritual support. When a child has a strong bond with their parents, this connection often continues even after they leave home. It’s not driven by obligation or guilt, but rather by the reassurance of knowing that someone will be there for them as they navigate the world around them.
Find a Balance
We want our children to be able to make decisions on their own. We don’t want them to be insecure and completely rely on us. That’s why we must consider how we raise our children.
When you focus on raising interdependent children, you can reduce your child’s anxiety and strengthen family connectedness.
About Lori Wildenberg
Helping families build relationships that last a lifetime is Lori Wildenberg’s passion. Lori, a licensed parent and family educator, is a national speaker and award-winning author or coauthor of six parenting books listed below. The Wildenberg home is nestled in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. Lori is Mom to four, Mom-in-Love to three, and Mimi to four. A perfect day in Lori’s world is a hike with Tom (her hubby) and their growing family!
My guest, Zan Tyler, shares how parents can make homeschooling easier and strengthen relationships using a few simple activities your children will enjoy.
As a veteran homeschool mom, Zan Tyler believes parents can make homeschooling easier by adding a few simple activities to motivate children on their homeschool journey.
What can we do to make learning fun while making homeschooling easy? Zan shares three ideas and some sage advice I’m sure you will enjoy.
Embracing God’s Call
Embracing God’s call isn’t always easy, but Zan’s story is filled with defining moments where she witnessed God’s hand guiding her through the process. Through these experiences, she realized that her purpose is to support and encourage homeschool moms like enjoy the adventure.
Making Homeschooling Easier
Zan understands the challenges of homeschooling and wants to help you make your homeschool days more enjoyable. Here are a few tips she shared:
Break up the school week by designating a special day that your kids can look forward to.
Focus on the unique gifts that homeschooling offers, such as the flexibility of time, the ability to explore new ideas, and the spontaneity it allows.
Look for serving opportunities that you and your children can do together. Engaging in service activities strengthens the bond between you and your kids.
Plan mid-week outings or activities outside the house to bring excitement and variety to your homeschool routine.
Encourage your family members to embrace their individual strengths and find meaningful ways to redeem each day.
Building Strong Relationships
Zan emphasizes the importance of building strong relationships within your homeschooling journey. She quotes Mother Teresa, who said, “If you want to bring happiness to the whole world, go home and love your family.”
Here are some practical tips to making homeschooling easier
Love each other well by intentionally investing time and effort into nurturing your relationships.
Take the time to truly understand and get to know your children, their unique motivations, and learning styles.
Give yourself grace as you navigate the homeschooling journey. Remember, it’s all new, and mistakes are part of the learning process.
Learn to incorporate your faith into your daily homeschool routine, allowing God to guide you every step of the way.
We must trust in God’s leading to help make homeschooling easier
By implementing these practical tips and embracing the lessons shared in this episode, you can make homeschool easier and more fulfilling while strengthening the bond within your family.
Trust in God’s plan, cherish your relationships and enjoy the adventure of homeschooling. Together, we can strengthen today’s families and create a brighter future.
About Zan Tyler
Zan Tyler’s homeschool journey began in 1984 when homeschooling was illegal, and she was threatened with jail. For eight years, she and other families battled for homeschool freedom and established landmark homeschool legislation in South Carolina. In 1990, she founded the South Carolina Association of Independent Home Schools (SCAIHS) and served as its president for ten years.
Zan loves to empower parents as they answer their God-given calling to homeschool. She is an inspirational speaker and author. For sixteen years, Zan worked with Christian publishers developing homeschool curriculum and resources. She is now a consultant with BJU Press Homeschool. Zan’s greatest privilege in life was homeschooling their three children through high school. Zan is the host of the Zan Tyler Podcast, sponsored by BJU Press Homeschool. Join Zan and a special guest each week for real encouragement, engaging stories, and practical wisdom for surviving and thriving on the homeschool journey.
It’s that time of year again – the start of a new school year! Whether you’re a seasoned parent or you have a new kindergartener, the mixed feelings of nervousness, excitement, and anxiety are likely familiar. In this episode, we are going to talk about transitioning smoothly into a new school year and the importance of easing kids back into school.
Let’s just first acknowledge now that there’s a bit of upheaval that happens at back-to-school time. Your kids are learning new things and adjusting to new schedules. Be mentally prepared for this.
Easing into the School Year
Here are my suggestions for ways of easing your kids back into school and setting them up for a great year:
Be sure to talk to your kids about any anxiety they may have.
This might be anxiety about the challenges of new things or it might be social challenges. Connect with your kids about how to process their emotions. Temper your expectations of your children, and yourself.
Be prepared and reduce stress by meal planning.
Having the groceries in the house and at least a rough plan of what you’re going to cook will make your days run more smoothly. Don’t forget to think about nutrition! Your child’s brain is developing rapidly and they need healthy fats and proteins in addition to good carbs. Set consistent meal times and set your day by working backward to make sure that meals happen on time and avoid children becoming hangry.
Help your kids develop good study habits and related routines.
Show them how to focus. Give them a space in which to study. Provide organizational systems and skills.
Include physical exercise and free play in your days.
Create margin in the schedule for these activities. Don’t give up this time in order to get other things done!
Create an atmosphere in your home that your children will want to remember.
An atmosphere of warmth, excitement, and enthusiasm is contagious. Write down the words you want your kids to use to describe your home after they’ve left your home as adults. Be and do the things needed to embody those words.
Remove distractions and provide the resources they need to be successful.
What is in the way of your child achieving their goals? Determine what is needed of you to reach those goals? What is keeping you from being available for your child?
Make It a Great Year
Every school year brings its own set of unique joys and excitements and challenges. I hope your children look back on this school year as a year of blessings and call it a great year!
Do you worry? Seems like every time you turn around, there’s another headline that strikes fear and causes worry these days. What about your kids? Do you worry about them? Do you worry you will ruin them? Do you worry about the things they will have to face? What can you do about worry? Well, Keri Eichberger is with me in this episode to talk about these big issues surrounding worry. Keri offers encouraging insights and reminds us of the power of God’s truth in conquering worry and finding peace in all seasons of life. You can win over worry!
In this episode, Keri and I discuss:
Keri’s family dynamics with five children and how that lends itself to an environment of worrying
How you can help someone if you are just one step ahead of them
The distinction between genuine concern and worry
Understanding the root fears behind worry, which often include a fear of helplessness and a fear of being unloved or unworthy
Understanding God’s unconditional love and his power
Overcoming worry by seeking God’s truth, turning to prayer, embracing community, studying the Bible, and other spiritual practices
Acknowledging that some individuals may be more predisposed to worry due to their wiring, but still emphasizing the same things work for those people
Keri’s example of a fear of flying and trusting God
Worry is common and we all face it. But, worry is not from God and you can overcome it through the power of God who lives in you!
About Keri Eichberger
Keri Eichberger lives just outside of Louisville, Kentucky, with her husband Mike and their five kids. Her own roller coaster of life trials, redeemed by a relationship with the Lord, fueled her desire to help others discover and experience the fullness of life found in Jesus. After years of writing for an online audience, she became ordained through Southeast Christian Church, giving her life to full-time ministry. She continues to follow her calling to bring faith-filled encouragement to others around the world through her social media influence, devotionals, Faith Fueled podcast, and Christian nonfiction books.
