I recently had the pleasure of meeting Raymond Arroyo, a New York Times bestselling author and Fox News contributor, at the 2023 National Religious Broadcasters Convention. He agreed to sit down and have a conversation with me for the podcast. There were so many things we could have discussed! We could have talked about politics or how the world is crumbling around us, but we landed on a topic that strengthens the family, and I hope it is going to encourage you. Raymond and I were talking about how children are curious, and I knew this was the topic we needed to focus on! He’s written a book series called Turnabout Tales that focuses on little-known yet fascinating stories of historical figures who went from underdog to hero, and the adults who inspired them to be true to themselves and do big things that changed the world. The first book in the series is about the life of Thomas Alva Edison and his mother Nancy.
This episode is sponsored by BJU Press Homeschool. Visit bjupresshomeschool.com for trusted educational resources from a biblical worldview.
In this episode, Raymond and I discuss taking children from underdog to hero and discuss these things along the way:
The importance of children’s curiosity
Raymond’s interest in Thomas Alva Edison and his discovery of his background
The role of Nancy Edison, Thomas’s mother, in his upbringing and education
The challenges Thomas Edison faced, including being labeled as an “idiot” by a schoolmaster
The significance of Nancy Edison’s belief in her son’s potential and her role in fostering his curiosity and intelligence
The impact of Nancy Edison’s influence on Thomas’s inventions and creativity
The importance of recognizing and nurturing children’s gifts, strengths, and talents
The marginalized role of mothers in society and the need to value and affirm their contribution and lifelong impact
The book’s cover and the representation of Nancy Edison
Thomas Edison’s hustle and work ethic at a young age
The influence of Nancy Edison’s decision to homeschool Thomas and its impact on his life trajectory
I hope you enjoyed our conversation about curiosity and the importance of relationships in a child’s life that help them go from underdog to hero. Be sure to check out Raymond’s website and look for another Turnabout Tales story to be released in the fall of 2023!
About Raymond Arroyo
Raymond Arroyo is an internationally known, award-winning journalist, producer, and New York Times Bestselling author. As a Fox News Contributor and Editorial Advisor to the top-rated, The Ingraham Angle, he has created the popular “Seen and Unseen” and “Friday Follies” segments that have become audience favorites. He regularly files reports for Fox News and co-hosts Fox Nation’s “Laura and Raymond” with Laura Ingraham each week.
Tasks. Work. Chores. Whatever you call them, there are things that need to be done in your home, and frankly, no one really wants to have to do them. Since the magic fairy isn’t going to be arriving anytime soon to handle these things, we as parents have to find a way to motivate our kids to get their share of the work done. I found that every age and stage and child requires a little different tactic and mindset, but it always comes back to adding an element of fun.
This episode is sponsored by BJU Press Homeschool. Visit bjupresshomeschool.com for trusted educational resources from a biblical worldview.
An Element of Fun in Daily Tasks
As Mary Poppins so famously said, “In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun.”
That fun might be adding a timer to see how fast the job can be completed. This is great for your competitive kids. It might mean promising an outside fun activity after the work is finished. When we make it fun, everyone’s attitude is better, even yours!
The way that you phrase or present the tasks makes a difference. This requires thinking about your child’s unique personality and motivations. What will get this child excited about doing something? I know there are some kids who just have more of a bent toward murmuring and complaining, and it will take more work to get to a joyful heart for those kids. But, I’ve found that for most kids, offering a treat or reward activity really helps.
Sometimes your child’s creative ways will actually make the tasks take longer. That’s ok. Don’t squash their creativity. Let them use those skills and gifts. Sometimes it lightens the mood and makes everyone have more fun. Just be aware of your very responsible child who just wants to get the job done. They might be bothered by a sibling who stretches out the time it takes to do a task.
I’ve talked many times about journaling and keeping notes about your child. What motivates, excites, and delights your children? Use these insights to help motivate them to get the hard, boring, mundane things done.
By incorporating fun into everyday chores, parents can foster unity and collaboration, and ignite their child’s imagination. You’re instilling in them character qualities that will be written on their hearts for a lifetime. One day, your kids will sit around the table, when they are adults and don’t have to be there, and they will remember these days and how you made daily tasks fun.
I’m often asked these types of questions as I travel and speak to parents around the country and internationally: How do you raise godly kids? How do you raise kids that love Jesus? How do you raise kids who don’t walk away from the church? In this episode, I’m going to dive into nurturing spiritual development in your children.
This episode is sponsored by BJU Press Homeschool. Visit bjupresshomeschool.com for trusted educational resources from a biblical worldview.
As parents, we often witness our young children express enthusiasm and love for Jesus and the church. However, as they grow older, they may start asking difficult questions or experiencing doubts. They may encounter conflicting ideas from friends or struggle to understand certain biblical passages. Eventually, some teenagers or young adults may even question or reject their faith altogether. There’s no formula to follow that will guarantee that your child will move from religion to relationship. It’s a living God who works in the hearts and minds of each of us, including our kids. While good, there’s more to it than a list of magic steps like reading the Bible to them, having them do copywork, and taking them to church each week. Nurturing spiritual development in children is much more about your relationship with them, the routines you put in place, and having the difficult spiritual conversations.
Parents Are the Primary Spiritual Influence
Deuteronomy tells us that we are to teach and train our kids in the way that they should go. You are supposed to be teaching and training them. The second part of that passage tells us that when they are old, they will not depart from it. Now, I know some of you listening and reading did everything right and your child still walked away. It is crucial that you recognize that it is your job to teach and train your child in the way they should go, but it is the Lord’s job to draw them near to Himself. Remember that when they walk away, it might not be forever.
It is crucial to recognize that you, as a parent, are the primary influence in your child’s life. Despite the challenges and external influences, you have a significant impact on their moral and spiritual development. You, not the youth group leader, the Sunday school teacher, the Christian school, or the co-op leader, are responsible. Your daily actions, conversations, and modeling of a godly life shape their understanding of faith. Do they see you spending time in prayer and reading God’s Word? Do you engage in conversations about the Lord, addressing their doubts and questions? By actively participating in their spiritual growth, you cultivate their enthusiasm and eagerness to know God.
Routines and Rituals
To instill a deep love for God, it’s essential to incorporate routines and rituals into your family life. These practices can reinforce the importance of faith in your everyday activities. For instance, you can have family Bible reading or devotion time, share prayer requests, or put up Bible verses around the house. By consistently engaging in these activities, you demonstrate that your relationship with God is not limited to specific times or places. It becomes an integral part of your lives.
Having Spiritual Conversations
Children observe and imitate their parents. By modeling a godly life, you show them the practical application of faith in various situations. But, they also need you to acknowledge their questions and doubts, responding with patience and encouragement rather than mockery or dismissal. Take time to affirm their curiosity and create a safe space for them to discuss their thoughts and concerns.
Encourage your children to appreciate God’s presence in the world around them. Teach them to marvel at the beauty of nature and see creation as a reflection of His glory. Foster empathy and compassion by praying for those in need, whether it be accident victims or the homeless. These experiences help children develop a heart for others and recognize God’s love and provision in their lives. Your kids naturally want to know more about God. Remember, faith is a journey, and doubts are a natural part of it. By intentionally fostering conversation, you help them deepen their relationship with God.
The Journey Not the Outcome
Don’t make learning about the Lord a task or school subject or just something that has to be done. Make it fun and creative and engaging. As parents, we have the privilege and responsibility to nurture spiritual development in your children. While we cannot guarantee the outcome or prevent them from experiencing doubts, we can create an environment that fosters their relationship with God. By having relationships with them, incorporating routines and rituals into our lives, and engaging in meaningful conversations we can guide them toward a faith that transcends head knowledge.
Some extreme examples have been recorded and posted online of parents behaving badly at kids’ sporting events recently in central Florida. In response, Fox 35 Orlando asked me to speak about parents who lack self-control. I love doing these segments, but there’s never enough time to say everything so I’m expanding on this topic here on the podcast for you! In this episode, we’re going to go deeper into the impact of parents who lack self-control, what your self-control teaches your kids, and how to turn it around if you’ve been a bad example.
This episode is sponsored by BJU Press Homeschool. Visit bjupresshomeschool.com for trusted educational resources from a biblical worldview.
There are a number of reasons why parents are acting out these days. Parents lack self-control because of:
Fatigue and stress
Sensory overload and overwhelm
Societal expectations and pressure
Personal triggers and identity found in child’s performance
Parenting challenges
Why Do Parents Need Self-Control?
Are you pushing your child to be the best they can be but in the process you are losing the best of you? When you have self-control, your children learn healthy life skills. They learn how to:
Regulate their emotions
Have patience and tolerance
Control impulses
Manage stress
Develop character qualities
These are all things we want our kids to be able to do and do well!
What Happens When Parents Lack Self-Control?
When you show a lack of self-control these things can happen:
Your kids can become emotionally insecure. They become confused by the example set by you as the parent. This comes with anxiety and fear. Instead, ask your child: Did you give it your best?
They begin using the negative behavior that you’re modeling. Your kids will start to think that this behavior is acceptable.
Your child’s self-esteem will be impacted. They will internalize their feelings, believing that their self-worth is based on performance rather than on effort or skill. They won’t be able to regulate their own emotions.
How to Develop Self-Control
What can you do when you’ve been a bad example? Go apologize to your child! Explain that you were not a good example, you didn’t show a good testimony, and you may have embarrassed them. Say that you’re sorry and you were wrong. Ask for forgiveness. Don’t make excuses for your bad behavior!
Here are some ideas for how you prepare yourself for an event or make changes for you and your kids:
Don’t go to an event if you can’t control yourself.
Give a spouse or friend permission to confront you if you lack self-control.
Pray before entering the arena.
Make a decision in advance about how you will behave.
Distance yourself from bad influences at the event.
Move your kids to a different team/group if needed.
Be A Change Maker!
What is etched in your child’s heart becomes the reservoir from which they draw in the future. Remember that you are responsible to the Lord and to your family. As a parent, you don’t have to lack self-control. Instead of being an excuse maker, be a change maker!
I had the pleasure recently to talk with David Closson, the Director of the Center for Biblical Worldview at Family Research Council. I’ve known David for many, many years. He shares with me the sobering statistics regarding the gap between those who say that they are living a Biblical worldview and how their beliefs actually line up with a Biblical worldview. There’s a larger gap than you might even guess!
In this episode, David and I talk about:
David’s background playing basketball with my son to college and seminary to being invited to join the Family Research Council.
The founding and purpose of the Center for Biblical Worldview
What is and how do we live a biblical worldview?
The problems of theological liberalism
The financial, social, and legislative pressures on churches today
How issues surrounding gender and identity have become the number one question in churches today
The need for a resource to help churches talk about identity
The de-transitioner movement
Our hope in Jesus and His return
God doesn’t call us to change the world alone; He calls us to each be faithful to our individual callings
I hope that you heard David’s heart in this episode and were encouraged. It is so important that we return to the basics. As David said, “God’s work is sufficient.” Everything we need is there in Scripture!
About David Closson
David Closson serves as the Director of the Center for Biblical Worldview at Family Research Council. He researches and writes on life, human sexuality, religious liberty, and related issues from a biblical worldview.
David is the author of FRC’s Biblical Worldview Series, which seeks to help Christians and Christian leaders apply the teachings of the Bible to difficult moral questions.
David has served as a Program Leader for Covenant Journey, leading trips to Israel designed to strengthen Christian college students in their faith through an experiential journey of biblical and modern Israel. He has served on staff or as an ordained deacon at churches in Florida and Kentucky. He also interned for the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission of the Southern Baptist Convention.
His writing has appeared at Fox News, Real Clear Politics, National Review, The Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, Decision Magazine, WORLD Opinions, The Gospel Coalition, Townhall, and Christian Post. David is the co-author of Male and Female He Created Them: A Study on Identity, Sexuality, and Marriage (Christian Focus, 2023). David is a regular guest on Washington Watch, FRC’s national television and radio program heard on over 800 stations in forty-eight states.
Currently, David is completing a Ph.D. in Christian Ethics at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. David is a graduate of The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary (M.Div., Th.M.) and the University of Central Florida (B.A., political science, cum laude).
David lives in Washington, D.C. and is a member of Capitol Hill Baptist Church.
A news outlet recently asked me to talk about the boom in homeschooling. Why is there such a surge of parents choosing to homeschool their kids? I’m a little surprised they couldn’t see the answer based on the news they are reporting. My kids are grown and having kids of their own, but I’m even more passionate about homeschooling now than I was years ago when I was homeschooling my own kids. It’s important that you as a parent find your voice in the midst of the noise of this struggle with educators. Who knows your child best? You? Or an educator?
My passion for homeschooling started because I wanted a close family and figured I could teach them the basics just as well as the public school could. My perspective on why to homeschool has changed over the years. Now, it’s more about families. I care about families and our nation. I see the design and purpose for which God created families.
Those who hold the purse strings of the American educational system do not want dissenting opinions. They don’t want your children to be able to compete in the global marketplace. There is a dumbing down of America in process and yet educators and administrators have the audacity to tell parents that they don’t know what they are doing when it comes to educating their own children. They assert that they are the ones who know your child best.
You Know Your Child Best!
My advice to you as the parent is this: Don’t accept it when you’re told you don’t have a voice in your child’s education! You as the parent are the one who knows your child best!
When a wedge is driven between parents and children, our children become fair game for any ideology that anyone wants to teach them. The reality is that God gave you your children and they are your responsibility to teach and train. There’s an army of folks who are against you and don’t believe that parents are or should be the primary influence on their child’s life.
We are told to shut up and go along, but the reality is that it is your job to be the primary influence in your child’s life. I’m sure that many of us don’t speak because we don’t want to be targeted. Please, don’t abdicate this role in your child’s life! You are enough for your kids. Again, you are the one who knows your child best! Most of parenting is figuring out what you’re going to do in any given situation. What is best for your child? What is best for your family? God shows you the way.
Hold onto this: You’re going to get it right more than an educator who sees your child a limited number of hours a week during the school year. It’s not about perfection. It’s about God’s design for the family and knowing that you’re equipped by God to be the parent your child needs.
What can you do? You can decide now what the priority is for your family. Keep your focus there. We want our children to want to be with us and spend time with us as they get older but these strong relationships must be built now while they are kids, before they leave your home.
