We’re moving into the holiday season with lots of parties, gatherings, and festivities! In this episode, I want to focus on creating traditions and holiday rituals your children will remember. How you do create memories and create traditions that your children will want to continue to do as they get older and desire to implement with their own families?
When I was first married, I was very career focused. Having a large family wasn’t on my radar because of my upbringing. But, when I found myself with a growing family, I knew I wanted to do things differently. I watched what my husband’s mom and families in our church did and took cues from them for how to develop traditions and holiday rituals to implement with our kids.
Holiday Ritual Suggestions
Here are some ideas for things you can do as a family during the holiday season:
Celebrating Advent
Doing cookie decorating
Going Christmas tree hunting and decorating
Going Christmas caroling
Attending candlelight services
Feeding the homeless
Playing piano at the senior or assisted living facility
Reading books at the Children’s Hospital
Doing plays and reenactments
Reading the Christmas story together
Watching Christmas movies
Preparing and sending Christmas cards
Taking gifts to a friend
Sending handwritten letters and pictures to family
Matching outfit Christmas photos
Think about the ages of your children. What types of activities fit this stage? If there’s grumbling and complaining, try changing up the activity or doing something new. These traditions and holiday rituals don’t have to cost you a lot of time or money. The activities don’t need elaborate planning. The point is celebrating together and pointing your kids to Christ.
Making Memories and Passing Down Traditions
I’ll be honest. There was a time when I tried to do it all. I knew the day would come when my children would leave my home and trying to scheduled these activities would become a nightmare. I learned with activities held the greatest importance to my kids over time. We don’t do them just to do them because we’ve always done them, but we also don’t not do an activity if one child is complaining. Pray for discernment.
My kids remember these things we did together. The purpose was to bring our whole family closer together. These things are written on their hearts and they discuss their memories when we get together at family gatherings. I’m watching now as my adult children are taking some of these traditions and holiday rituals into their new families!
We’ve experienced a lot of change in the last few years. Everywhere I turn, I’m reading or hearing about someone else in crisis. I’ve had seasons of crisis in my own life recently. Today, I thought it would be helpful to talk about how to help others in a crisis.
Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a medical diagnosis, the loss of a job, a wayward child, or just the concern about how to put food on the table this week, there’s someone near you in crisis.
Some people want to talk through these things while others want to be quiet. On either extreme, people want to know that they are not alone. They need to know that someone cares about them but not judging or giving three simple steps to fix the problem.
In this episode, I share some tips and thoughts surrounding:
The difference between internal and external processors
Praying for others in crisis
Giving and receiving advice
Giving grace
Asking for help
You don’t have the capacity to help every single person you know in a crisis. Lean into God’s leading to walk alongside those He puts on your heart. In the midst of helping others through crisis, He molds and changes you too!
In the United States, this is a week when we pause to be thankful and consider thankfulness. But, appreciation goes much deeper than thankfulness. In this episode, I want to discuss teaching appreciation to your kids.
Everyone wants to feel loved and valued, but appreciation goes deeper into the heart of a person. Teaching appreciation to kids actually begins with mom and dad. It starts with your example. This may come more easily to some of you but be more difficult for others. Catch your kids doing good things and then go beyond just saying thank you. Find your children doing little things and show them appreciation.
It’s important that you put your appreciation into words and actions that your child will hear and understand. Dr. Gary Chapman’s books are a great resource on this topic in addition to past episodes I’ve done on strengths and siblings. Ask the Lord to reveal to you how your children think, feel, and behave. How do they process the world around them? Use this knowledge to communicate appreciation to your kids.
When we neglect to do these kinds of these and train our kids with these examples over and over again, we end up with adults who don’t know how to be thankful and think everything is owed to them. But Scripture tells us that we are to value others more highly than ourselves. We are to seek to serve. Explain these ideas to your kids, not in a negative way, but in a way that makes them really think and ponder these things.
This episode has plenty of practical examples and scenarios about how you can put this into action to teach appreciation to your kids!
In the episode last week, I talked about resting vs quitting. So many of you contacted me asking about kids who have a tendency to give up on something too soon. How do you go about teaching kids not to quit?
It’s really important to know each of your children as individuals. There tend to be a few basic reasons that kids want to quit and the way you go about helping and encouraging kids is very different.
There are kids who don’t have the words to express their frustration. They don’t have the works they need to articulate themselves and they tend to storm off.
Other kids just don’t even try because they are afraid of failing. These kids tend to be perfectionistic and that is paralyzing to these kids.
But there are also kids who avoid conflict and disharmony. For this type of children, they are trying to avoid the disapproving looks
Do you know which type of child you are dealing with?
How To Teach Your Child Not to Quit
It’s important as parents to help develop in our kids the character quality of perservence. but each of these three types of kids are going to need slightly different help, attention, and words to overcome the desire to quit.
Each of your children is uniquely created by a Master designer who fearfully and wonderfully made them. Consider some of these things as you determine how to best encourage and come alongside your child.
You need to look at them as one of a kind.
Watch your words and avoid pat answers.
Sometimes a pause is needed to consider and think about something.
Sometimes more maturity is needed before pressing through on a particular task or activity.
Set realistic expectations for the child.
Remind your kids that they are growing up, but not yet grown up.
Reassure your kids that you struggle with these issues at times too.
Encourage your child to try new things.
Learn the strengths and weakness of each of your children.
Help your child take their thoughts captive.
Remind your child to do their best rather than strive for perfect.
Each of your children is different, but you are just the parent they need to become who God has created them to be!
There’s a difference between resting and quitting. Many times I feel like I want to quit. Today, I want to remind you that it’s okay to rest, but it’s not okay to quit.
In this episode, I’m being vulnerable and sharing some recent life events that have made me want to quit. I know I can’t quit, but I also know that God is calling me to a season of rest for a while.
For some of you, you might just need mental rest. A vacation or some kind of physical exercise like a walk or a trip to the gym might be just what you need. You might need time to read the Word and pray, even if it’s just five minutes. For others, like me in the season, you might need physical rest.
I want to say it again: It’s okay to rest!
How to Make Decisions About Seasons of Rest
Here are some things that you can do to help figure out how to prioritize a season of rest in your life:
Ask yourself in what areas of your life can you rest? There are things like raising kids that can’t be stopped, but there are other things that you could let go of. What are those things? Can they be let go of entirely or do you just need to press pause on them for a bit?
Don’t measure yourself by productivity. God isn’t measuring you by your level of productivity! He’s looking for your faithfulness. Are you doing what He has called you to do?
Pay attention to what God is telling you. Is this something that God is calling you to lay down? Is there something else that God is telling you to pick up?
Make a list of what you’re doing with your time. Are there places you can delegate? Can you hire someone to do a task? Can you ask a friend for help?
Don’t let fear dictate your choices. There are always new opportunities. You can’t do everything!
Bottom line: don’t quit when life gets hard. Live your life in seasons with the right perspective. God has a plan for you and He will lead you!
I speak frequently about how to keep kids safe online. I’ve found two camps of parenting styles when it comes to technology and internet usage. On one side, some parents decide to give no access at all to technology. On the other side, they allow their kids near unrestricted access.
If you’ve been around the Equipped To Be Podcast for very long, you know that I’m not a proponent of restricting all access to technology and the internet. At the same time, I’ve found that giving too much access without much monitoring and deep conversations with your kids can also backfire. I’ve talked to employees at some of the large tech companies and received varying responses about how to handle kids and tech, but it usually comes back to watching and monitoring. That’s a lot easier if you’re tech-savvy!
These days, it’s more likely a question of when, not if, your children or one of their friends will encounter bullying. I believe that the best middle-ground approach to tech usage is to use parental controls AND to have close relationships with your kids.
What does this look like in practice? How do you keep your kids safe online?
Conversations about Technology and Online Spaces
Relationships are at the core of having a balanced approach to online safety. Here are some things to consider when building these relationships and having these deep conversations.
Talk to your kids about why internet safety matters for their future. They need to understand the why. This is the principle behind the rule.
Give your kids some basic guidelines about internet etiquette. If you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, then don’t type it online. If you wouldn’t want it done to you, then don’t do it to someone else.
Ask your kids about their friends. Except for some of your highly sensitive kids who may be more likely to respond openly, your kids are likely not going to answer direct questions. Ask if their friends are encountering issues online. Open deeper conversations about your experiences and your friends’ experiences help your kids be more vulnerable.
Encourage Common Sense Practices
Implement some simple guidelines for device usage in your home like:
Use devices in open spaces.
Set time limits
Encourage to not always be on a device.
Engage with people, nature, and books.
Help your kids understand that with freedom comes responsibility. They need to know that you’re looking out for their best interests. It’s not about control but about their safety.
