Have you thought about what your calling is and how you can reach it? Do you wonder about how you will get it all done? If you look at the Proverbs 31 woman and think that you’ll never measure up, I want to remind you that story is a picture of this woman’s whole life, not a snapshot of a 24-hour day! You can build the life, the credentials, and the tools needed to fulfill what God has called you to do. And you have to discipline your mind to get there.
Discipline Your Mind
When you’re struggling or find yourself in a rut, you have to intentionally discipline your mind. This is a moment-by-moment, daily exercise. It starts from the moment you open your eyes and doesn’t stop until your head hits the pillow at night. This practice will impact your day, your actions, your words, and your thoughts.
Take Hold of Your Thoughts
The saying goes something like this: As a man thinks, so is he. As much as you try, you’re not always going to be strong. There are actionable things like practicing gratitude and thankfulness that can help you take hold of your thoughts.
Be Careful What You Tell Yourself
Keep yourself from wallowing in self-pity! Don’t fall into the trap of telling yourself that you’re dumb or a loser or other things like that. You have strengths. You have God-given abilities and talents ready to be used.
Know Your Limits
It’s important to know what season of life you’re in. There are times to step out and away from something. Remember that balance is a myth. You can’t compare what you’re doing to someone else. That person is in a different season and has different gifts from you.
Clear Vision
You need to have a clear picture of what you want for your future. You can also paint a picture of the future for your children. Want to know how I did it all? I didn’t! I would step out when needed. I knew my limits. I lived my life in preparation for tomorrow. Doing what God has equipped you to do will only be possible when building these disciplines into your life. It’s time to discipline your mind!
Why does knowing your strengths, talents, and the domain order matter?
If you missed episodes #71,#72, or #73, go back and listen to those first before jumping into this episode.
Here are three reasons why you should utilize the Talent Theme Domains.
It gives an individual another way to think about their talents. If you know the underlying motivation, you can communicate more effectively. We can better understand why we do what we do. Believing God has given you and others unique talents, gifts, and strengths allows you to use words and phrases intentionally.
It gives an individual more confidence in mitigating their weaknesses. Rather than focusing on their bottom Talent Theme, the individual can look at the Talent Themein the same domain that is highest in their sequence and determine how to use that talent to achieve the result the results they are looking for. You gain more confidence when you learn how to manage your weaknesses regarding Talents. Now, I want to remind you there are no bad strengths. One strength is no better than another. The purpose is to see what is good and right about you. I’m just going to repeat this. I think I’ve said it in every episode. But it needs to be repeated because we tend to see what’s wrong with us and others, which causes anxiety and strife. The purpose of this series is that I want to help you know what is good and right about you. God formed and fashioned you; he made you exactly as he wanted you to be. Should you work on areas of your life? We do because we need to; we’re not perfect. We are in the process of being polished and refined, and that takes intentionality.
It gives you a way to look for gaps and learn how you speak to others to get people moving in a specific direction. For example, to get your children to do what you’re asking them to do or get them to talk about something important to them. If you learn how to utilize the Talent Theme Domain buckets, you can motivate your children or even yourself to move towards that goal.
Invite your friends to tune in. You should also go back and listen to the first three parts of the Strengths series on Knowing Your Strengths. I hope and pray that this is a huge blessing to you and helps communicate with your children, spouse, friends, co-workers, and ministry leaders better. It’s just so important to learn to pause for a moment and think about how others will hear what you say.
If you’re a note-taker, press pause for a second. I want you to write something down: It’s not about what you say. It’s about what someone else hears that matters.
For example, you can communicate a request thinking others know the intent behind your words, but it comes off as a command to the hearer. On the other hand, not thinking first can cause a simple request to fold the laundry to come across as an abrupt or demanding void of empathy or compassion.We want others to hear our words to land in a tender place of someone’s heart. So we can’t be harsh or reckless with our words.
Focusing on your Talent Themes and where they place in the order of dominance can make a huge difference in your relationships.The Gallup Organization puts talents into four domains: The Relating Theme, Impacting Theme, Striving (Executive) Theme, and Thinking Theme.
We can use the knowledge of Talents to identify negative labels as clues to a talent. In addition, learning to use negative labels as clues can positively benefit those we love.
Four Talent Theme Domains
Relating Talents—used to create, develop, and sustain relationships effectively. Prompt how a person reaches out to others and responds to those who reach out to them.
Adaptability
Developer
Connectedness
Empathy
Harmony
Includer
Individualization
Positivity
Relator
Influencing Talents—contained in themes used to motivate others to action. Prompts a person to set a course for individuals and groups to follow and then get them moving along that course. Stimulate others to be more productive, reach for excellence, and fulfill personal potential.
Activator
Command
Communication
Competition
Maximizer
Self-Assurance
Significance
Woo
Striving Talents—contained in the themes used to push the self towards results motivates a person to get things done, then seek greater accomplishments. Distinctive motivations that influence individuals to do the same task differently. Striving themes are the fuel that propels people to excel, take risks, and set high expectations.
Achiever
Arranger
Belief
Consistency
Deliberative
Discipline
Focus
Responsibility
Restorative
Thinking Talents—the way people gather, process, and make decisions with information and mental images. People think in the past, present, or future. Thinking themes influence one’s view of the world, the way they treat others, interpret current events, solve problems, and create opportunities.
Analytical
Context
Futuristic
Ideations
Input
Intellection
Learner
Strategic
Words to Use When Describing Negative Labels.
Use those labels as clues to see the positive side of their characteristics:
Controlling say In-Control
Bossy use Assertive, Determined
Doormat use Flexible
Obstinate use Persistent
Anti-social use Inner-directed
Uncooperative, antagonistic use Independent thinker
Smart-aleck use Clever
Nosey use Curious
Not a team player use Self-motivated, Inner-directed
Think about the positive attributes of negative words. Our words have the power to build up or tear down. By taking the time to think before we speak, we will be heard and understood more clearly.
God uses people to accomplish his will. He expects us to engage with the world around us in an understanding way. Furthermore, we are to teach and train our children in the way they should go. Leading our children by speaking in a way they hear can have a dramatic impact on your relationship.
God has uniquely wired people to complete their assignments.
Thank you for tuning in. We would love for you to leave a review. Unfortunately, I forget to ask you to leave a review regularly or to hit the subscribe button in your favorite podcast app so it pops up in your feed so that you can listen every Wednesday at 8:00 AM Eastern.
*Note: if you purchase one of the books with a code, you do not need to buy an additional code from Gallup. But, don’t buy a used one. The chances are that code has already been used.
**If you have a tween or younger teen, I recommend that they take Strengths Explorer. It is geared for kids ages 10-14.
Are you running your race with confidence or looking around at what others are doing? Do you know why running your race is important? Do you find yourself looking at others and trying to imitate them?
How you run your race depends on your season of life. A twenty-something runs differently than someone in their forties or sixties. Why? Life experience, the demands of children, and physical health. It is wise to accept the realization that your race will change as you age. God designed it this way.
Every runner knows the speed at the beginning of their race will get slower the further they run. It’s natural to slow down. This is true of you. It is true of me. Understanding this reality early in life will profoundly impact how far you can go later in life.
But running your race with confidence requires you to consider a couple of truths. You can’t run your race if you are in someone else’s lane. And you have to know what race you are running. Life is not a sprint; it’s a marathon. Sure, there are times one needs to sprint, but the amount of energy it takes to sprint can’t last long. Our bodies are designed to run a marathon at a sprint pace.
How Do You Start Strong?
Discover who you are. It’s more than temperament and Enneagram type. God made you a one-of-a-kind original. You aren’t a copy of someone else.
Take an honest look at your talents, then decide which of them you are passionate about developing.
Focus on becoming excellent in a few areas. This takes time and lots of practice.
Be willing to pivot. Change does not mean you are wishy-washy. Your race will require you to change. As your season of life changes, so does your ability to run. It is wise to be aware of this.
Your race is unique to you! You can’t do what everyone else is doing.
How will you run? There is a bit of strategy in preparing for a race. A runner has to know what they are capable of doing.
Get serious about learning more about yourself. Be intentional about your discovery process.
What are you doing to develop the talents God has given?
What is your season of life?
Running your race with confidence will not allow you to miss God’s best for your life. You aren’t missing out when you focus on being faithful to doing your best in your season of life.
If you don’t run your race with excellence, who will? No one.
How Can You Discover More About Yourself?
Pay attention to what excites you.
Listen to the stirrings of your heart.
Start journaling. Write down God’s subtle whispers.
Don’t be afraid to try something new, even if you are afraid.
When You Run YOUR Race with Confidence
You aren’t tempted to look at what others are doing.
You are more focused on your training.
You don’t feel compelled to compare yourself to others. It loses its appeal.
Do you feel overwhelmed with managing, budgeting, or investing your money? You’re not alone. Women often lack the confidence they need to make wise money decisions. My guest, Ed Vargo, founder of enLightenHer.com, joins me as we identify the stumbling blocks that key YOU from creating a healthy money mindset.
About Ed Vargo
Ed is a 20+ year veteran of the financial services industry. While growing up in the inner city gave Ed a proper education in the school of hard knocks, he is also a strong proponent of a formal education. Ed holds numerous distinguished industry designations including being a CFP®, an AIF®, and a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, amongst others. He is the founder of Burning River Advisory Group.
Ed saw his mother, a first generation immigrant, struggle as she was not educated in financial matters. A strong-willed and capable woman, she was nevertheless stuck in an unhealthy relationship, unable to control her own well-being. She was financially dependent and had few options for finding a better life. Eventually, she was able to find the power and resources to end the marriage but her struggles left a lasting imprint on Ed and the values he holds dear as a husband, father, and advisor.
Stop second-guessing yourself! In an age where we often look around and compare, we must stop second-guessing if we are doing enough. We can live the life we are called to live more confidently.
Giving grace to ourselves and loving others is easier when we know how they are uniquely created. CliftonStrengths, Love Languages, and the Meyers/Briggs assessments can help you understand how others think and process the world around them. You can learn how to love other well using personality and strengths assessments.
