Can motherhood feel lighter, even joyful, in the middle of the mess and chaos of life?
You wake up already tired. The baby didn’t sleep, the toddler has opinions about everything, and the dishes are multiplying faster than the laundry. You love your kids, but on some days, the weight of motherhood feels overwhelming. If you’ve ever thought, “I can’t keep doing this like I am,” you’re not alone.
But here’s the hopeful part: Some moms aren’t just barely surviving; they’re doing well. They still face chaos and challenges, but somehow, they find peace in the midst of it. And that raises an important question: What are those moms doing differently?
According to a 2025 report highlighted by The Washington Post and backed by data from the National Center for Health Statistics, while 1 in 4 moms report poor mental health, the other 3 are doing okay. That doesn’t mean life is easy for them, but they’ve discovered small shifts that make a big difference.
Motherhood Advice That Actually Helps: 7 Habits of Thriving Moms
In this post, I’ll walk you through 7 practical, proven habits that help moms not just get by, but thrive. I’ll cover how to build support systems, set healthy boundaries, practice restorative rhythms, ask for help, redefine success, anchor your heart in biblical truth, and use simple tools that make daily life easier. These steps aren’t about doing more. They’re about living more intentionally, more peacefully, and more joyfully. And they actually help.
1. Build a Support System Helps
Moms who thrive have one thing in common: they are not doing this alone. One mom I know shared how every Thursday, her neighbor comes over for an hour so that she can shower and reset. Another found peace when she joined a small group at church where they trade babysitting and share prayer requests. These aren’t grand gestures, but they make all the difference. Whether it’s a best friend, a prayer partner, or a small group, support matters. A 2023 study in the Journal of Family Psychology confirms that perceived emotional support is one of the strongest predictors of maternal well-being.
If you don’t have that yet, don’t panic. Start small. Smile at another mom. Join a local group. Text someone you trust. It’s the slow, steady connections that become lifelines.
And while community is foundational, it’s just the beginning. Next comes protecting your peace with boundaries.
2. Set Boundaries That Guard Your Mind and Heart
Let’s be honest: boundaries can be rigid. But moms who are doing well aren’t afraid to say no to overcommitment or endless online comparison. Boundaries create margin, and margin creates rest. Rest is one key factor in helping mom thrive!
Dr. Caroline Leaf, a cognitive neuroscientist, teaches that unchecked stress rewires the brain in harmful ways. Saying no isn’t selfish; it’s protective.
One mom I coached shared that she had to set a firm bedtime for her phone, not just for her kids. “I was scrolling late at night and waking up exhausted. Once I turned off my phone at 9 p.m., I felt like I had my evenings back.”
Also, try muting accounts that leave you feeling “less than.” Give yourself permission to pause the things that steal your peace and happiness.
With some margin in place, you’ll have room to establish essential daily rhythms of rest.
3. Practice Daily Rhythms That Restore You
Moms who are thriving don’t wait for a vacation to recharge. They build rest into their daily life in small, repeatable ways. A short walk. A warm cup of tea. Deep breathing during nap time. These micro-moments matter.
Research published in BMC Women’s Health shows that even 10 minutes of intentional rest can lower cortisol levels and improve emotional regulation.
So ask yourself: What is one calming habit I can do today? Then take action!
And sometimes, the most restorative thing you can do is reach out for help.
4. Ask for Help: And Receive It With Grace
Thriving moms know they can’t do it all. And they don’t pretend to. They ask for help from their spouse, kids, friends, or professionals. That doesn’t make them weak; it makes them wise.
Yet a 2024 report by Pew Research found that nearly 60% of mothers say they feel guilty asking for help. Let’s break that cycle. Accepting support is not a failure; it’s a step toward flourishing.
Choose one area this week to delegate or share. Let someone else carry part of the load.
Once help enters the picture, something beautiful happens—you begin to redefine what success really looks like.
5. Redefine Success Through a Lens of Grace
Moms who are thriving have stopped chasing perfection. They don’t measure success by a Pinterest-worthy dinner or a spotless house. They measure it by presence, connection, and grace.
Maybe the day was messy, but you stayed patient through a tantrum. Perhaps the chores got skipped, but you snuggled during story time. That’s a win. That’s success.
You get to define what success looks like in your home. Choose grace over guilt.
Grace becomes even more powerful when it’s anchored in something eternal.
6. Stay Anchored in Biblical Truth
Faith is the cornerstone for many thriving moms. Time with God doesn’t have to be long or elaborate—just consistent. A verse on your mirror. A prayer whispered in the kitchen. A worship song while folding laundry.
“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” Isaiah 26:3. This is not just poetic. It’s a promise.
And if you’re looking for biblical wisdom and encouragement for raising teens, I encourage you to read my book, Parenting Beyond the Rules. It became a #1 Amazon Hot New Release because it meets parents where they are: honest, real, and full of hope.
Anchoring your heart spiritually prepares you to think practically about how to lighten your everyday load.
7. Simple Tools Can Make Life Easier
Moms who are thriving aren’t superhuman. They just simplify wherever they can. A weekly meal plan. A whiteboard for chores. A gratitude journal. These aren’t luxury items, they’re tools of survival and sanity.
For example, start with one: a timer for 15-minute cleanups or a checklist to reduce mental clutter. Every small system you put in place buys back a little more peace.
Final Thought: You Don’t Have to Do Everything to Change Everything
One habit. One shift. One boundary. One prayer. That’s all it takes to begin moving from weary to well.
If you’re a mom who’s felt like you’re drowning, I want you to hear this clearly: you’re not alone, and you are not behind. There are real, proven ways to move forward, and they actually help.
And if you need a guide, a cheerleader, and a voice of reason, grab a copy of Parenting Beyond the Rules. You don’t have to parent perfectly. Just parent with presence, wisdom, and grace.
Loving your children unconditionally changes everything in a child’s world.
Every child longs to be loved, not for what they do, but for who they are. As parents, we have the sacred opportunity to offer a kind of love that mirrors the heart of God: steady, forgiving, and without condition. Loving our children unconditionally doesn’t mean we overlook mistakes or ignore boundaries; it means we choose connection over control, grace over perfection, and presence over performance.
Love is the foundation every child needs. It’s the oxygen for a healthy heart and mind. Without it, kids don’t feel safe. They don’t know who to trust. And when love is missing, it affects everything from their emotional well-being to how they see God.
If I had to boil it all down to one thing that made the greatest difference in how my children grew, how they received correction, and how they responded to God, it would be this: unconditional love. ~Connie Albers
Love is the Oxegyen of the Heart
When a child grows up truly knowing they’re loved and cherished, something beautiful happens. Their hearts soften. They become more open to correction, more teachable, and more likely to believe us when we tell them about a God who loves unconditionally as well.
Love becomes the lens through which they view the world and themselves.
Love is what Jesus modeled every step of His life. He didn’t lead with control; He led with compassion. And that changed everything. It still does.
Love is a Legacy They’ll Carry for Life
Children thrive when they’re surrounded by people who meet their needs, speak life into their souls, and commit to loving them from birth to adulthood. That kind of love creates emotional safety. It gives them strength, hope, and vision for the future.
This doesn’t mean you hand over the itinerary; it means you welcome their ideas. Whether it’s picking a trail to hike, choosing a game to play, or planning a silly talent show, collaboration builds buy-in and connection.
Love isn’t just something we feel; it’s something we do. It’s giving of ourselves, again and again, for the benefit of others, especially those God has entrusted to our care.
And when we do that, when we love consistently, especially through the messy parts, it builds trust. It makes it easier for our children to believe the words, “God loves you,” because they’ve experienced love at home.
What Happens When Love Is Missing?
When children are deprived of love in those early years, it affects so much more than just their mood. It touches every aspect of who they are, their emotional stability, relationships with others, perception of God, and even their cognitive development.
A loving God created us with both a need to be loved and a capacity to love others generously. However, we must show our children what that looks like, day after day, in the everyday moments of life.
Love in the Messy Moments
Loving them when they’re easy is… well, easy. But loving them when they’re pushing back, acting out, or shutting down? That’s when love matters most.
Loving them as they are, appreciating the personality God gave them, and restoring the relationship even after hard moments—sometimes multiple times a day is how we build connection and keep their hearts close.
That’s the fuel that lit a fire in their hearts to want to know God, not because I told them to, but because they saw the reflection of His love in how I treated them.
A Command and a Calling
God’s Word couldn’t be clearer:
“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” —John 15:13 “Love one another, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” —Galatians 6:2
We are called to love deeply, intentionally, and persistently. And I’ve never met anyone who said they were loved too much.
Confident homeschooling is not how most moms would describe how they feel. In fact, many of us constantly wonder if we’re doing it right or doing enough. For example, I remember asking myself that very question during my own homeschool journey more times than I can count.
However, here’s the truth we often forget: confidence doesn’t come from having all the answers. Instead, it comes from showing up daily, learning as we go, and trusting the calling we’ve been given. Because of this, we can stop striving for perfection and embrace faithful progress.
In this post, inspired by my heartfelt podcast conversation with Ginny Yurich, founder of 1000 Hours Outside and author of her newly released book Homeschooling: You’re Doing It Right Just By Doing It, we’ll unpack what it truly means to homeschool with confidence and how you can embrace that mindset, too.
“You’re doing it right, not because you’re winging it, but because you care enough to keep showing up, adjusting, praying, and learning.” ~Connie Albers
Doubt is Normal
We live in a society built on comparison. It’s easy to scroll through social media, see someone’s beautifully curated homeschool day, and immediately question your own. While you’re juggling real-life messes and meltdowns, someone else seems to have it all together.
However, here’s the truth: homeschooling isn’t meant to be picture-perfect. It’s not about flawless routines or tidy lesson plans. Instead, it’s about the heart work, what’s happening in your heart and your child’s heart. That’s where the real transformation begins.
More importantly, God didn’t call you to homeschool so you could achieve perfection. He called you to walk in faithfulness. Every step you take, especially the messy, uncertain ones.
Proverbs 16:3 says: “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.”
With that in mind, once you’re grounded in Truth and accept that your homeschool journey won’t look like anyone else’s, it’s time to let go of unrealistic expectations. Instead, redefine what “right” looks like for your unique family.
Redefining What “Right” Looks Like
So, what does it actually mean to homeschool the right way?
First, it’s not about completing every lesson or whether your child is ahead in math or writing a five-paragraph essay by age eight. And it’s definitely not about how many Instagram-worthy activities you’ve checked off this week.
Instead, homeschooling with confidence means:
Adapting when something isn’t working
Prioritizing connection over correction
Choosing character over curriculum
Embracing the rhythms that work best for your unique family
In general, it’s not about doing more, it’s about doing what matters most for your child and your home.
Notice the Quiet Fruit of Faithfulness
Now, here’s something we often overlook: the fruit you’re planting today may not bloom right away.
Often, homeschooling can feel like sowing seeds in silence. Day after day, you show up and do the work, but you may not see immediate results. Your routines can feel repetitive, and at times, even exhausting. Still, those small, daily acts of faithfulness are far from wasted.
For example, think about the hugs after hard lessons, the prayers whispered in the laundry room, the spontaneous field trips, and the stories read aloud on the couch. Each of these moments shapes something eternal: a deep connection, character, and trust.
That’s why Galatians 6:9 offers such a beautiful reminder:
“Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
The fruit will come. You’re cultivating hearts, not just minds.
Give Youself Permission to Pivot
Sometimes, all it takes is a moment. When you put the phone down and truly look your child in the eyes, something shifts. That kind of focused attention says, “You matter to me. I’m here with you.” These are the moments that build connection and trust.
As your family grows, so will your needs. What worked last year might not work this year. And guess what? That’s not failure. That’s wisdom.
Ginny encourages moms to simplify and be flexible. If your curriculum is creating tears instead of joy, if your schedule is wearing everyone down, it’s okay to pivot, pause, and do things differently from the family next door.
Remember, you are the expert on your child.And God didn’t call you to this journey without equipping you to walk it faithfully.
Choose Connection Over Comparision
As you continue your homeschool journey, one of the most important decisions you’ll make daily is this: Will I compare or will I connect?
When you focus on your child’s growth, your family’s rhythm, and your calling to homeschool, you reclaim your joy. You move from striving to settled.
And that’s the kind of confidence that sustains you.
In Summary: Confident Homeschooling Comes Moment by Moment
Homeschooling isn’t about having all the answers or a flawless plan—it’s about the relationship, the daily investment, and the heart behind the effort.
Set down the weight of unrealistic expectations. Look at your child. Look, and remind yourself:
We’re in this together. And that’s enough for today.
Sponsor, Bio, and Links
Ginny Yurich is a Michigan homeschooling mother of five and the founder and CEO of 1000 Hours Outside, a global movement, media company, and lifestyle brand with a mission to reclaim childhood, reconnect families, restore balance, and help people live fuller lives.
She hosts and produces the extremely popular The 1000 Hours Outside Podcast, is a keynote public speaker, a zinnia enthusiast, and a published author.
Want a Bible curriculum that strengthens your teen’s faith and critical thinking? RVL Discipleship: The Curriculumequips homeschool students to engage deeply with Scripture and live out God’s mission.
In RVL Discipleship: The Study, join renowned teacher and Bible scholar Ray Vander Laan as he examines what it means to follow Christ through the cultural, historical, and otherwise contextual lens of Scripture. The Study is a four-season video Bible study for small groups and individuals that considers the question: What did it mean to be one of Jesus’s original disciples, and what does that mean for us today?
Fun, tech-free vacations are an excellent way for you to detach from the screen and connect with each other. They can also help you reconnect as a family.
Have you ever taken your family on a dream vacation, only to find everyone scrolling through their phones at dinner? I have. And I realized we weren’t actually together, we were just in the same place. You can have a tech-free vacation and have fun, too.
In a world where screens are everywhere and family members are often in the same room but worlds apart, intentionally unplugging can be the key to reconnecting with your kids and building memories that last a lifetime.
I know what you’re thinking: ‘My kids will lose their minds without Wi-Fi.’ I hear you. That’s why I’m sharing how to make this doable, not perfect, but meaningful. ~ Connie Albers
Tell Your Children You’re Taking a Tech-Free Vacation in Advance
Telling your kids in advance sets the tone and reduces resistance. When it comes to screen-free travel, giving your children a heads-up is one of the most important things you can do. Let them know what to expect and why you’re doing it.
Kids thrive with structure and clear expectations. Telling them in advance gives them time to adjust, prepare, and even get excited. You’re not springing a surprise—you’re starting a conversation. This sets the tone for a positive experience instead of resistance.
Once the idea has been planted, the next step is to invite them into the planning process.
Let Your Children Help Plan the Vacation
Involving your children in planning the vacation gives them a sense of ownership and excitement. When they help choose where to go, what to do, or even what snacks to bring, they’re far more likely to be engaged and enthusiastic about going tech-free.
This doesn’t mean you hand over the itinerary—it means you welcome their ideas. Whether it’s picking a trail to hike, choosing a game to play, or planning a silly talent show, collaboration builds buy-in and connection.
And here’s some good news: making memories together doesn’t have to cost a fortune.
Don’t Make it About Money
You don’t need a five-star resort or expensive amusement park tickets to have a memorable trip. Some of the best tech-free vacations happen in cabins, backyards, or small-town hideaways.
What your children will remember most isn’t the cost of the trip—it’s how they felt during it. Did they laugh with you? Did they feel seen? Were they invited to play, explore, and just be?
While tech-free vacations don’t have to be expensive, one of a vacation’s most powerful (and overlooked) parts is the gift of attention.
Give Your Kids Attention
When you put the phone down and truly look your child in the eyes, something shifts. That kind of attention says, “You matter to me. I’m here with you.”
During a tech-free vacation, your focused presence becomes a treasure. Whether skipping rocks, telling stories, or sitting quietly by a campfire, your child notices when you’re truly with them.
Not only will your children enjoy the extra attention from you it also opens the door to something even more exciting: the gift of imagination and exploration.
Encourage Creativity and Adventure
Without screens, children are forced to engage their senses and stretch their imaginations—and that’s good. Tech-free vacations give them space to build forts, create games, tell stories, and explore nature with curiosity.
This might take some getting used to, especially in the beginning. But once they rediscover how fun boredom can be, creativity flourishes.
In addition, when you’re all feeling brave and inspired, it’s the perfect time to try something new together.
Try New Things with Your Kids
New experiences create lasting bonds. Whether it’s kayaking for the first time, cooking over a fire, or learning a dance together, trying something new as a family breaks the routine and builds connection.
You don’t have to go far or do something wild. Even little adventures create inside jokes and shared memories that will last for years.
Also, trying something new together helps your family grow stronger, one small adventure at a time.
Closing Thoughts: Connection Over Perfection
Planning a tech-free vacation might take a little more intention; however, the reward is rich. While not every moment will go as planned—and some may even be challenging—that’s perfectly okay. What matters most is that you’re intentionally choosing to show up for your family in a deeper, more present way.
By detaching from devices, you’re making space to attach to each other. And in the long run, that is the parenting your children will carry with them.
So, give it a try, whether it’s one day, one weekend, or a whole week. You might be surprised at what unfolds when the screens go off and the heart turns on.
Sponsors, Related Shows, and Links
Want a Bible curriculum that strengthens your teen’s faith and critical thinking? RVL Discipleship: The Curriculum equips homeschool students to engage deeply with Scripture and live out God’s mission.
In RVL Discipleship: The Study, join renowned teacher and Bible scholar Ray Vander Laan as he examines what it means to follow Christ through the cultural, historical, and otherwise contextual lens of Scripture. The Study is a four-season video Bible study for small groups and individuals that considers the question: What did it mean to be one of Jesus’s original disciples, and what does that mean for us today?
Today, marriage can feel complicated. People often ask, “Why get married when relationships are already hard enough?” Maybe you’ve wondered this yourself. After all, the media frequently highlights the struggles, the breakups, and the heartache, which can make marriage seem daunting or even outdated. Yet, research consistently reveals that married people report higher levels of happiness, health, and life satisfaction compared to singles. So, if marriage holds such promise, why aren’t more people rushing to say “I do”?
In her insightful book Making Marriage Easier, Arlene Pellicane addresses precisely this issue, offering practical, faith-based strategies that transform marriage from daunting to delightful. Let’s unpack a few key insights on why marriage is still worth pursuing—and how to make it genuinely easier and joyful.
In this episode, Arlene joins me to discuss four ways you can love (and like) being married.
“Marriage isn’t just about duty—it’s about delight!” ~Arlene Pellicane
Love Is a Daily Decision, Not Just a Feeling
Many couples assume that love should always come naturally, but Pellicane points out that love is more about making daily decisions than experiencing fleeting emotions.
In our culture, we often mistake love for the butterflies we feel at the beginning of a relationship. When those butterflies fade—and inevitably they do—we assume something’s wrong. But Making Marriage Easier emphasizes love as a daily choice, grounded in intentional acts of kindness, patience, and grace. Choosing to love actively, rather than passively waiting for feelings to surface, is foundational to lasting happiness in marriage.
So, how does this daily choice practically play out in everyday life?
Serving Your Spouse Brings Joy
Shifting from a mindset of “What’s in it for me?” to “How can I serve my spouse?” radically transforms the dynamics of your relationship.
We live in a culture that’s constantly telling us to prioritize our own happiness. But ironically, one of the greatest predictors of marital happiness, as Pellicane beautifully explains, is the ability to serve your spouse selflessly. This isn’t about losing yourself; rather, it’s about discovering joy through giving. When both partners embrace this mutual service mindset, joy naturally follows. Serving your spouse wholeheartedly becomes a powerful source of personal fulfillment.
Awareness of these influences enables you to have honest and open conversations with your children about what they are experiencing and how it may impact their faith. By maintaining a safe, non-judgmental environment for dialogue, you help them process their thoughts with biblical guidance.
Taking Fun Seriously Strengthens Your Bond
Pellicane encourages couples to actively prioritize joy and laughter actively, as having fun together is a key to maintaining emotional intimacy.
Marriage can quickly feel weighed down by responsibilities: work demands, bills, raising children, and caring for aging parents. In the process, fun can slip off the priority list entirely. Pellicane argues that taking fun seriously isn’t just nice, it’s necessary. Shared experiences of laughter and adventure revive your bond, reduce stress, and boost your happiness. Having fun reminds you of why you fell in love in the first place and keeps your friendship strong.
But what happens when the kids grow up and life drastically changes?
Marriage Can and Should Last Beyond Parenthood
Making Marriage Easier highlights the importance of nurturing your marriage beyond the demanding years of parenting.
It’s easy to become so invested in your role as parents that your identity as a couple fades away. But marriage isn’t just about raising children together; it’s about creating a partnership that continues to flourish long after your kids leave home. Pellicane emphasizes intentionally connecting as spouses through regular date nights, meaningful conversations, and shared goals, ensuring your relationship endures well into the empty nest years and beyond.
Ultimately, a marriage built intentionally with daily choices of love, selfless service, shared joy, and lasting companionship sets you on the path to deep, sustained happiness.
Closing: Making Your Marriage Easier is Possible
Choosing marriage might seem countercultural today, but the research remains clear: married people are consistently happier, healthier, and more fulfilled. While marriage requires effort, it’s also immensely rewarding, especially when you incorporate these practical insights from Making Marriage Easier. So if you’re wondering whether marriage is still worthwhile, remember—it truly can be easier and more joyful than you imagine.
Marriage may not always be simple, but it doesn’t have to be complicated. With intentional decisions each day, you really can make marriage easier and discover the lasting happiness you’ve always desired.
Guest Bio, Sponsors, and Links
ARLENE PELLICANE is a speaker, host of the Happy Home podcast, and author of several books, including Parents Rising, Making Marriage Easier, and Screen Kids (coauthored with Dr. Gary Chapman). She is the spokesperson for National Marriage Week and has been happily married to her husband, James, for more than 25 years.
Want a Bible curriculum that strengthens your teen’s faith and critical thinking? RVL Discipleship: The Curriculum equips homeschool students to engage deeply with Scripture and live out God’s mission. This course, taught by Ray Vander Laan, brings biblical history to life, helping teens see their place in God’s kingdom. Try two free lessons today!
In RVL Discipleship: The Study, join renowned teacher and Bible scholar Ray Vander Laan as he examines what it means to follow Christ through the cultural, historical, and otherwise contextual lens of Scripture. The Study is a four-season video Bible study designed for small groups and individuals to explore the question: What did it mean to be one of the original disciples of Jesus, and what does that significance hold for us today?
Downloadable leader guides
Downloadable participant guides
Access all 4 seasons – 39 episodes that are 10-12 minutes long
Raising Godly Kids is a desire for many Christian parents. But what should you do if your children’s faith path drifts? You may have done your best to teach biblical values, live out your faith authentically, and create a home centered on Christ. Yet, despite your best efforts, you may find that some of your children embrace their faith while others seem to walk away. This can be confusing and heartbreaking. Understanding why this happens can offer encouragement, perspective, and hope. Let’s look at some biblical reasons why children from the same home may follow different spiritual paths and how you can respond in faith.
Today, I share how to face this challenging question: How to Raise Godly Kids When Faith Paths Drift. Why do some children from the same home follow God while others do not? You are not alone in this struggle, and I will unpack what Scripture says, what practical insights we can glean, and most importantly, how you can keep hope alive.
“Raising godly children isn’t about perfect outcomes—it’s about faithfully planting seeds of truth and trusting God to grow them, even when your child’s faith path drifts in a direction you didn’t expect.” Connie Albers
Individual Free Will: A Matter of Personal Choice
One of the most significant reasons children from the same home may choose different paths is their free will. The Bible clearly teaches that each person must make their own choice regarding faith. In Joshua 24:15, Joshua declares, “Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve.”
Even in the most faith-filled homes, each child has a personal responsibility to choose whether to follow God or not. This concept is powerfully illustrated through the story of Cain and Abel (Genesis 4). Although they grew up under the same parenting, Cain chose a path of jealousy and violence while Abel chose to honor God.
It’s important to remember that no parent can control their child’s heart or decisions. While you can model faith, pray, and guide, each child will ultimately make their own choices. Accepting this truth allows you to continue loving your children unconditionally, regardless of their spiritual journey.
The Condition of the Heart: Different Responses to the Same Truth
Another crucial factor to consider is the condition of your child’s heart. In the Parable of the Sower (Matthew 13:1-23), Jesus describes how the same seed (the Word of God) falls on different types of soil (hearts), producing different outcomes. Some seeds grow and flourish, while others are choked out or wither away.
Similarly, siblings raised in the same Christian environment may have hearts that respond differently to biblical teachings. One child may eagerly accept God’s truth, while another may resist or struggle to believe. This difference does not necessarily reflect poor parenting; rather, it reveals each child’s unique spiritual condition.
Understanding that heart readiness varies helps reduce parental guilt and reminds you to pray specifically for God to soften the hearts of your children who may be struggling.
Personality and Temperament: Uniquely Wired for Faith
As you consider why children from the same home follow different spiritual paths, it’s to acknowledge their unique personalities. Psalm 139:14 reminds us that each person is “fearfully and wonderfully made.” While one child might naturally lean towards spirituality, another may be more analytical or even skeptical.
Take, for example, the biblical twins Esau and Jacob (Genesis 25:27). Though raised in the same environment, Esau was impulsive and focused on the present, while Jacob was more thoughtful. Their distinct temperaments influenced their choices, including their relationship with God.
Recognizing personality differences helps you understand why one child might be drawn to worship and prayer while another questions and challenges. Rather than feeling discouraged, view these differences as opportunities to approach faith discussions in ways that resonate with each child’s unique wiring.
External Influences: The Power of Peers and Culture
In addition to personality differences, external influences also shape your children’s faith. The Bible warns in 1 Corinthians 15:33, “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’” As much as you may protect your children from negative influences, friends, mentors, media, and life experiences still impact their beliefs.
For instance, a child who grows up in a godly home may still be influenced by secular ideologies at school or through friendships. This can lead to spiritual struggles, doubts, or even rebellion. We are all influenced by our surroundings, so parents must pay attention to who their children spend time with.
Awareness of these influences allows you to have honest, open conversations with your children about what they are experiencing and how it may impact their faith. By maintaining a safe, non-judgmental environment for dialogue, you help them process their thoughts with biblical guidance.
Fighting for Your Child’s Faith
Sometimes, despite a parent’s best efforts, spiritual warfare plays a role. The Bible reminds us that we battle not against flesh and blood but against spiritual forces (Ephesians 6:12). This unseen struggle can profoundly affect your child’s faith journey.
One sibling may feel spiritually attacked in ways that others do not, leading to doubts or a desire to pull away from God. A child’s unique vulnerabilities may make them more susceptible to these spiritual battles. Trust me, this is extremely difficult for a parent because we want our children to be strong and able to withstand attacks and temptations.
As a parent, prayer is your greatest tool to fight spiritual warfare, asking God to protect your children’s minds and hearts. Equip them with spiritual armor (Ephesians 6:10-18) and teach them to stand firm against spiritual attacks.
Trusting God’s Plan Your Child Drifts
While parental guidance is significant, each child’s faith journey is ultimately part of God’s sovereign plan. Romans 9:15 says, “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.” This means some children may take a different path despite your best efforts.
Think of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32). Although the same loving father raised both sons, one chose to leave and live recklessly. Yet, the father’s unwavering love remained constant, and when the son returned, he was embraced with open arms.
Trusting God’s sovereignty helps you release the burden of controlling outcomes and instead focus on loving your children through their journey, regardless of where they are spiritually.
What Can You Do as a Parent?
Pray Without Ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17): Never underestimate the power of persistent prayer. Ask God to work in your child’s heart, especially when they are resistant.
Model Faith Authentically (Deuteronomy 6:6-7): Live out your faith daily, showing your children the practical and relational aspects of following Christ.
Love Unconditionally (Luke 15:20): Whether they are walking with the Lord or not, show them that your love remains steadfast.
Trust God’s Timing (Isaiah 55:8-9): God’s ways are higher than ours. Be patient and hopeful as you wait for His work in your child’s life.
Even though we can’t control our children’s choices, we’re not powerless—there are still meaningful, faith-filled ways we can parent with purpose and hope.
Closing: Hold On to Hope
Seeing your children take different spiritual paths can be both confusing and painful. However, understanding that each child has free will, unique personality traits, and various external influences can bring some clarity. Remember that God is at work even when it seems like nothing is happening. Your role is to model faith, pray fervently, and trust God with the outcome.
Continue to love your children where they are, keep the door open, and never give up hope. God’s grace can reach even the most distant hearts, and He specializes in bringing prodigals home.
If this episode encouraged you, share it with a friend who needs to hear these words today. And remember, you are doing a great job, even when the results aren’t what you hoped for. God sees your faithfulness, and He cares deeply for your children.
Sponsors, Related Shows, and Links
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In RVL Discipleship: The Study, join renowned teacher and Bible scholar Ray Vander Laan as he examines what it means to follow Christ through the cultural, historical, and otherwise contextual lens of Scripture. The Study is a four-season video Bible study for small groups and individuals to consider the question: What did it mean to be one of the original disciples of Jesus, and what does that mean for us today?
Downloadable leader guides
Downloadable participant guides
Access all 4 seasons – 39 episodes that are 10-12 minutes long
