Parenting can be overwhelming, especially when we experience feeling inadequate or judged by others. In today’s episode, I’ll discuss how to overcome those feelings of inadequacy that many of us struggle with. If your teen is acting out or being influenced negatively, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed as a parent—it means you’re on a journey like the rest of us.
Drawing from biblical truths and practical examples, I’ll provide specific ways to reframe these struggles and embrace the challenges of raising children. I’ll also share fundamental tools and encouragement to confidently help you navigate this season.
Parenting can be overwhelming, especially when we start to feel inadequate or judged by others. If your child is acting out or being influenced negatively, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed as a parent—it means you’re on a journey like the rest of us. While it is common to feel inadequate, those feelings aren’t true. You can confidently navigate this season with a few tools and leaning on God’s Word.
Feeling Inadequate Key Takeaways
Many parents, even those with the strongest faith, face struggles when their teens begin to assert independence or fall under negative influences.
Acknowledge that Parenting is Hard for Everyone
You’re not alone in your struggles. Many parents face feelings of inadequacy, but these challenges are a part of the growth process for you and your child. Reframe your mindset. Accept that challenges don’t mean failure but rather an opportunity for growth for you and your teen. Proverbs 22:6 encourages us to “train up a child in the way he should go,” but that doesn’t guarantee an immediate return or perfect behavior. Trust the process.
Combat Judgment
It’s easy to feel judged by peers, family, or society. But remember, your worth as a parent isn’t measured by others’ opinions. We’ll talk about how to lean on God’s grace and approval.
Reframe “Failure”
Moments when your child is acting out can be seen as learning opportunities for both of you. Take time to connect with your child and show them the love of Christ through the difficulties.
Practical Steps When You Feel Inadequate
From daily prayer to finding community support, explore tangible steps you can take to shift your perspective and handle challenges with grace.
Fostering a Supportive Relationship to Reduce Feeling Inadequate
Building a connection with your child is more important than fixing behavior. Learn how empathy, love, and patience can open the door to positive change. Based on what you observe and the conversations you have, set challenging yet achievable goals.
If your child loves writing but struggles with grammar, encourage them to write stories while gradually improving their grammar skills. The idea is to build on their strengths while gently supporting them in areas where they need growth.
Feeling Inadequate Highlights
Understanding the reality: Parenting teens is one of the hardest seasons for any parent. No one has it all figured out.
Replacing self-criticism with self-compassion: I’ll talk about why it’s crucial to stop comparing yourself to other parents and how to embrace God’s grace.
Real-life examples: Hear stories from parents who’ve walked this road and found hope through faith and practical steps.
Scripture Focus
Throughout this episode, I’ll refer to key scriptures like Proverbs 22:6 (“Train up a child in the way he should go…”) and James 1:2-4 to remind us that God is with us in every season of parenting, refining us and our children through these trials.
Feeling Inadequate Wrap Up
As you navigate your parenting journey, remember that perfection isn’t required—faithfulness is. God sees your efforts and is equipping you every day. You are enough for your child, and with God’s help, you’ll continue to grow as the parent He’s called you to be.
Call to Action: If this episode encouraged you, please subscribe, share it with a friend, or leave a review. And don’t forget to check out the full episode at [conniealbers.com] or on your favorite podcast platform. You can also join our community for more resources and support. ~Thank you, Connie
Have you ever wondered if your hopes and dreams for your child might be more about you than them? It’s a tough question, isn’t it? As parents, we want the best for our children. We want them to succeed, to be happy, and to reach their full potential. But sometimes, in our desire to guide them, we unintentionally place our expectations on their shoulders. This is why rethinking parental expectations that we have for our children offers possibilities for them to follow their God-given bend without damaging our relationship.
But what happens when those expectations don’t align with who our child truly is?
Today, let’s explore how we can rethink our parental expectations and learn to honor the unique, wonderful individuals our children are created to become. It’s about letting go, embracing the unknown, trusting the Lord, and finding joy in the journey of discovering who they are, not who they think they should be.
Why Parents Often Have Expectations and When Those Need to Shift
Parents, we’ve all been there—we set expectations for our kids because we love them so much and want the best for them. Maybe it’s because we value certain things, like a good education or a stable career, or maybe it’s just because we want to see them succeed and be happy. Sometimes, those expectations come from our experiences, the things we’ve learned, or even the dreams we never fulfilled.
It isn’t always easy to examine why we have certain expectations of our kids. But if we focus too much on molding them into our image, we risk stifling their growth and suppressing the qualities that make them unique. It also takes their Creator out of the picture, which is the opposite of what the Lord has planned for our children.
Impact of Expectations on Children
When we set expectations for our kids, it can really shape how they grow and develop. If our expectations are supportive and match who God made our kids to be—their strengths, interests, and personalities—it can boost their confidence and help them feel good about themselves. But when our expectations are too high or rigid, it can make them feel stressed, anxious, or even like they’re not good enough. That’s why it’s so important to find a balance. By being flexible and really listening to who our children are, we can help them grow into confident, resilient individuals ready to face whatever comes their way.
Learning to Honor Your Child’s Unique Nature
Honoring a child’s unique nature means recognizing and appreciating the individuality that each child brings into the world. It’s about seeing beyond the surface, beyond what we might expect or want for them, and truly understanding who they are—what makes them tick, what lights them up, and what makes them feel understood and loved.
When we honor our child’s unique nature, we say, “I see you. I value you for who you are, not for who I think you should be.” It’s about allowing them to explore their interests and passions, even if those paths differ from the ones we might have imagined for them. This approach fosters a sense of security and self-worth in our children. They begin to trust themselves, to believe in their own abilities, and to feel confident in expressing who they truly are.
Reframing Your Expectations
Guiding a child’s path is like being a supportive coach on the sidelines while controlling it, which is more like trying to direct every play in the game. When we guide our children, we’re there to offer advice, share our experiences, and help them navigate choices, but we also give them the freedom to explore, make their own decisions, and learn from their mistakes. It’s about trusting them to find their way, even if it’s different from the path we might have chosen.
On the other hand, controlling a child’s path means trying to dictate every step they take, deciding what they should do, who they should be, and how they should live their lives. It often comes from a place of love and wanting the best for them, but it can feel stifling to a child. It can prevent them from developing their own sense of identity and confidence in their abilities, and if we aren’t careful, it can also keep them from seeking God’s direction for their life.
Think of it this way: guiding is like giving your child a map and teaching them how to read it, while controlling is like holding the map yourself and telling them exactly where to go. Guiding helps them learn, grow, and become independent, while controlling can lead to resistance, frustration, and even a lack of self-confidence. It’s all about finding that balance between offering support and allowing them to be who they are meant to be.
How to Rethink Parental Expectations
Setting expectations that align with a child’s capabilities and interests starts with really getting to know your child—who they are, what they love, and what they’re good at. Here’s how you can do it in a simple, practical way:
Observe and Listen
Pay attention to what your child naturally enjoys doing and where they excel. Notice the activities that make them light up and lose track of time. Listening to their interests and passions is key.
Open Conversations
Talk with your child about their goals, interests, and what they find challenging or exciting. Ask them what they enjoy and what they’d like to try. These conversations can help you understand their dreams and fears, making setting expectations that match their abilities and desires easier.
Set Realistic Goals
Based on what you observe and the conversations you have, set goals that are challenging yet achievable. If your child loves writing but struggles with grammar, encourage them to write stories while gradually improving their grammar skills. The idea is to build on their strengths while gently supporting them in areas where they need growth.
Be Flexible and Discerning
Understand that interests and capabilities can change over time. What your child loves today might not be what they love tomorrow. Be open to adjusting expectations as your child grows and explores new things. It’s okay for goals to shift as your child discovers more about themselves.
Celebrate Effort and Progess, Not Just Outcomes
Focus on your child’s effort rather than just the end result. Praise them for trying hard, learning from mistakes, and showing perseverance. This approach encourages a growth mindset and helps them feel confident in taking on new challenges.
By setting expectations that are in line with who your child truly is, you’re helping them grow in a way that feels natural and empowering. You’re not just guiding them; you’re partnering with them in their journey to becoming their best selves.
Encourage Social Connections
Remind your child that getting involved on campus can help them feel more at home. Joining a club, playing intramural sports, and participating in a study group can be great ways to meet new friends and build a support system. We are created for community and relationships, and getting involved is an excellent way to ease homesickness.
Wrapping It Up
Honoring a child’s unique nature creates a supportive environment where they feel free to be themselves. We give them the room to fail, succeed, grow, and learn in their own ways.
This approach not only helps build a stronger, more authentic relationship between you and your child but also helps raise confident children who can listen to the Lord’s leading. And isn’t that what we all want for our children?
When teens stop liking their parents, it hurts. Do you know what I mean? Have you ever looked into your teenager’s eyes and felt like a stranger? As a mom, nothing stings quite like realizing that the child who once clung to you now seems to tolerate your presence barely.
It’s a heartbreaking shift that leaves many of us feeling lost, questioning our worth, and wondering where we went wrong. But take heart—you are not alone in this struggle. While it may feel like the bond you once had is slipping away, there is hope and a path forward to healing and understanding.
When your teenager seems to push you away or act like they don’t like you, it’s easy to feel hurt and react out of frustration or fear. However, there are some key things you should avoid doing during these challenging times to prevent further damage to the relationship. Here are five actions to steer clear of that can help keep the door open for healing and connection, even when it feels like your teen is shutting you out.
What To Do When Teens Stop Liking Their Parents
Acknowledge the Hurt
Acknowledge the deep emotional pain and confusion that come when a child who was once so close becomes distant. Although this phase may feel overwhelming and never-ending, it’s important to remember that it’s just that—a phase. With patience, understanding, and a steady hand, you and your teenager can navigate this season and emerge with a stronger, more resilient bond.
It’s okay to feel down, but you can’t stay down. God is in control and continues to work all things out for His good and His glory.
What You Need To Know?
Understanding the Teenage Mindset
Humanizing the Pain: A Mom’s Perspective
Practical Steps to Take
Finding Support
Holding on to Hope
Understand A Teens Mindset
To make it through these tough moments, it helps to step into your teen’s shoes and understand what they’re really going through. The teenage years are a rollercoaster of emotions, independence, and self-discovery. By understanding their mindset, you can approach them with more empathy and patience, helping to keep your connection strong, even when things feel rough.
Hormonal and Developmental Changes: Hormone changes and brain development can affect a teenager’s mood and behavior. The hard part for parents is that many teens don’t fully understand what is happening to their bodies, which makes communication much more difficult.
Desire for Independence: As teens try to establish their independence, they may push away from their parents as a part of this process. We want our kids to gain independence so they can handle adult life, so being able to observe what is happening will help you.
The Role of Peer Influence: Peer relationships can become more important, often overshadowing family relationships. We must discern how influential friends are on our child and help them become strong and confident in who God made them to be.
Romans 12:18 – “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
Humanizing the Pain: A Mom’s Perspective
A NormalExperience: I want to remind you that feeling hurt is normal and that you are not alone in this experience.
The Power of Vulnerability: Acknowledge your feelings and possibly even share them with their teenager calmly, non-confrontationally.
Psalm 147:3 – “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
Practical Steps to Take
Stay Consistent in Love and Support: Continue to show love, even when it feels unreciprocated.
Create Open Lines of Communication: Keep communication open by actively listening, not interrupting, and validating feelings.
Respect Their Space and Independence: Giving teens the space they crave while being present and available shows your teen respect and understanding.
Finding Support
Lean on Your Community: Don’t be afraid to contact friends, family, or support groups who understand what you’re going through.
Consider Professional Help: Consider seeking help from a counselor or therapist for your teen or yourself. Sometimes, getting outside help gives you insights into what can be done to make the situation less stressful.
Holding on to Hope
We have to remember to have hope. God is at work. Your child is not going to feel this way forever. Even during the toughest times with their teenager, there’s always a reason to stay resilient and patient.
The Power of Time: Like many phases, this too shall pass. Teens grow up, mature, and often return to a closer relationship with their parents. 🙂
Encouragement to Persevere: I want to encourage you to continue your unwavering love and patience, which can make a profound difference.
Malachi 4:6 – “And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers; lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction.”
Scripture for Strained Relationships
Ephesians 6:4 – “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
This verse highlights the importance of nurturing and guiding children without causing unnecessary conflict or resentment.
Colossians 3:21 – “Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.”
Encourages parents to avoid actions or words that may lead to bitterness or discouragement in their children.
Proverbs 22:6 – “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
It suggests that a strong foundation, even if met with resistance during the teenage years, will have lasting effects.
Scripture For Healing and Reconciliation
Healing and reconciliation offer hope that strength will be renewed through patience and reliance on God.
Isaiah 40:31 – “But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”
Corinthians 5:18-19 – “All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation.”
James 5:16 – “Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”
Wrapping It Up
Watching your teenager pull away can be one of the most heartbreaking experiences as a parent. It’s tough—there’s no sugarcoating that. But take heart: you’re not alone in this journey, and it doesn’t mean you’re losing them forever.
With the Lord, patience, empathy, and a lot of love, this difficult season can be a time of growth, so hang in there—your bond is stronger than you think. God’s got you and will lead you through this season of parenting.
Did you know up to 70% of college students experience homesickness during their first few months of school? It’s true. Today, we are focusing on Helping Homesick College Kids find their way without bringing them home.
Are you a parent with a child who’s just started college—or maybe you’re about to send them off? First off, this is such a big moment, not just for your child but for you, too. The house feels a little quieter, and your heart likely feels all sorts of emotions. And so is your child. So, when we get a call from our distraught college kid asking to come home, we aren’t always sure what to do. Today, I’ll share some practical tips and a few personal stories and hopefully give you the reassurance that everything you’re child is feeling is completely normal.
It’s common for college students to feel homesick, especially in the first few weeks of school. And many kids are so overwhelmed they want to quit school and come back home. And as parents, it can tug at our hearts. But, before we say yes, there are some ways we can help them find their way without coming home.
Helping Homesick College Kids Adjust to College Life
Understanding What is Really Going On
Why did your child go from being excited to wanting to go home? While there are many reasons, the most common ones are fear of the unknown, nervousness, and anxiety. They left what was familiar and comfortable. They don’t know anyone, they don’t know their way around, and they don’t know their professors. The newness of everything can overwhelm some kids, causing them to think they’ve made a big mistake.
Rather than immediately letting them come home, parents can gently encourage their child to stick it out for a bit longer, like until the end of the first semester. This will help them gain confidence in their ability to handle new situations and grow into independence.
What Can YOU Do?
Support Independence:
Balance Support with Understanding
Create a Timeline
Five Ways to Help College Kids FInd Their Way
Encourage your child to maintain strong connections with family and friends back home by scheduling regular video calls or sending thoughtful messages. These moments of connection can provide comfort and remind them that they have a support system rooting for them, no matter how far away they are.
Additionally, consider sending care packages filled with their favorite snacks, photos, or small items that remind them of home. These little gestures can bring a sense of familiarity and warmth, helping to ease the feelings of homesickness and reinforcing the bond they have with their loved ones.
Establish a Comforting Routine
Encourage your child to build a daily routine that feels comforting and familiar, something that can anchor them in this new chapter of their life. It might be as simple as starting their day with a cup of coffee just like they did at home, taking a few minutes to enjoy a hobby that brings them joy, or ending the day by watching a favorite show or reading a book. These small, everyday rituals can create a sense of stability and make the college experience feel a little less overwhelming, helping them find their footing in a new environment.
Stay Connect to Home
Encourage your child to maintain strong connections with family and friends back home by scheduling regular video calls or sending thoughtful messages. These moments of connection can provide comfort and remind them that they have a support system rooting for them, no matter how far away they are.
Additionally, consider sending care packages filled with their favorite snacks, photos, or small items that remind them of home. These little gestures can bring a sense of familiarity and warmth, helping to ease the feelings of homesickness and reinforcing the bond they have with their loved ones.
Encourage Social Connections
Remind your child that getting involved on campus can help them feel more at home. Joining a club, playing intramural sports, and participating in a study group can be a great way to meet new friends and build a support system. We are created for community and relationships and getting involved is an excellent way to do ease homesickness.
Find Local Support
If your child is struggling to find their way, encourage them to ask for help and find a church they can plugged into. Asking for help might make your child feel uncomfortable, but if you remind them that colleges pay people to advise and help kids just like your child, they will make them feel less self-conscious about asking for help.
By all means, try not to make your child feel like something is wrong with them. Keep it matter-of-fact. I would even suggest you do a little research and send your child some links or phone numbers to make it easier for your child to contact others.
Pracitical Self-care
College kids tend to forget about getting enough sleep, eating right, managing time, and exercising. We can gently remind them how necessary self-care is by suggesting simple mindfulness practices, like taking deep breaths or writing in a journal when they’re feeling overwhelmed. Doing some physical activity, like going for a walk or doing a workout, can also help them release stress and boost their mood. This will help them keep the proper perspective of this season of life.
Wrapping It Up
Don’t forget your child is moving towards something new, which isn’t always easy. As much as we might want to swoop in and rescue them, we must pray about what is best for our child.
Pray before saying yes to moving back. Pray about how much you help them and how you help them.
The emotional journey parents and college students face when dealing with homesickness during the first few months away from home is real, and common. I pray God gives you wisdom as you help your young adult navigate this season of change well.
Welcome to Healthy Back to School Habits Part 2 with my friend, Loisann Fowler of Coach in Tandem! As the new school year approaches, we want to ensure our children are set up for success both in and out of the classroom. Today, Loisann and I will discuss three crucial areas: exercise and movement, managing stress, and relational downtime. Let’s explore some practical, easy-to-implement tips that will make a big difference in your child’s mental and emotional well-being.
Meeting our goals can be difficult when school picks back up. That’s why now is a perfect time to consider these five easy foundational non-negotiables that we can incorporate into our homes before school starts.
In part 2 of Healthy Back to School Habits, Loisann and I focus on exercise and movement, stress management, and relational downtime. Let’s start with exercise and movement.
Healthy Back to School Habits: Exercise and Movement
What do you mean when you say exercise and movement? It’s simple. It means making sure our children get up and move around. Today’s kids are sitting for far to long and need to get up and move for optimal health. Movement nourishes your body and gives your child energy. How do we know if our children are getting enough exercise?
Movement improves academic performance. It might take a little time initially, but you will quickly see results when your children put down their devices, turn off the TV, and move their bodies.
Mental and Emotional Clarity.
Physical development. Children who move and exercise on a regular basis build strong bones, increase muscle strength, and improve their quality of sleep.
Studies show that children who exercise and move perform better, think clearer, and experience a general sense of well-being.
Stress Management
Stress is part of life. Helping children learn how to manage stress well will bring peace and calmness to your children’s lives.
Establish a routine. A sense of security is provided when children have a daily routine. It also allows children to feel like they have some control over their lives.
Make time for physical activity. Physical activity releases endorphins which are natural mood lifters. Aim for 30 minutes a day, and you will see great improvements in your children.
Teach relaxation techniques. Children who learn how to relax will do better at managing stressful situations. One effective way is to teach children proper breathing techniques.
Simply practicing these three techniques will help our children stay calm under stressful situations.
Relational Downtime
Understanding why children need downtime built into their lives equips us with the knowledge we need to make this a priority.
Strengthens family bonds. Spending quality time with family members fosters a sense of security and belonging.
Enhances Emotional Intelligence. Relational downtime provides opportunities for children to express their feelings and understand the emotions of others.
Promotes relaxation and reduces stress. Unstructured, relaxed time with loved ones helps children unwind and decompress.
Encourages positive behavior. Positive interactions with family members serve as a model for appropriate behavior.
Supports Cognitive Development. Engaging in meaningful conversations and activities with family members stimulates cognitive growth.
Spending quality time with family is important for kids. It helps them feel secure and connected, knowing they have a strong support system. When families spend time together, kids learn to express their feelings and understand others’ emotions, which boosts their social skills and empathy. This downtime also gives kids a chance to relax and unwind, reducing stress and anxiety. Positive interactions during these moments teach kids good behavior and values.
Healthy Back to School Habits Matter
The little habits you implement today will yield huge rewards over time. Your children rely on you to teach and train them in the way they should go. You create an environment where they can truly flourish by creating healthy back-to-school habits, providing exercise time, managing stress, and allowing time in their day to focus on relationship building.
We are so glad you’re committed to helping your children grow and thrive. I pray our Healthy Back to School Habits series blessed and encouraged you. Remember, every small step you take makes a big difference. You’ve got this!
About Loisann Fowler
Loisann Flower is a nationally board-certified functional medicine health coach. She helps people from teens to 90-somethings uncover and achieve their highest wellness in body, mind, and spirit. There is a gap between our level of health today and where we want to be. Loisann’s coaching bridges that gap, discovering lasting practices for a strong and energetic life.
Have you ever wondered how much a child’s confidence and happiness can soar when they feel genuinely respected? Showing children respect meets a deep core need within them that causes emotional and psychological growth. When kids feel respected, they flourish, building a strong sense of self-worth and confidence.
Parents must understand that respect goes beyond just manners or obedience—it’s about appreciating your child’s thoughts, feelings, and uniqueness. By actively listening to them, validating their emotions, and including them in family decisions, we can create a loving environment where our children truly feel valued.
Understanding Respect
Respect in the context of child development means recognizing your child as an individual with their own thoughts, feelings, and opinions. It’s about valuing their perspectives and treating them with the same dignity and consideration they expect from others.
Why is respect crucial for a child’s emotional and psychological well-being? Respect fosters self-esteem, confidence, and healthy relationships. When children feel respected, they are likelier to develop a strong sense of self-worth and build strong bonds with their parents. When the core need for respect is met, the foundation of respect can lead to a lifetime of connection with us and personal relationships with others.
How to Show Children Respect
Active Listening
Valuing Their Opinions
Acknowledge Their Feelings
Be Respectful
Let’s look at practical ways to show respect to your child and make them feel valued, heard, and understood in your daily interactions.
Reasons Children Might Not Feel Respected
Understanding why children might not feel respected can make us pay more attention to our parenting.
Lack of Active Listening
Dismissive Attitude
Inconsistent Boundaries
Authoritarian Parenting Style
Public Criticism or Embarrassment
One of the best ways to meet our children’s core need of feeling respected is to point them to scripture. help While
What the Bible Says About Showing Children Respect
When we take our children to God’s Word, we can use scripture to validate their need for respect.
1 Peter 2:17 (NIV): “Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor.”
Romans 12:10 (NIV): “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”
Showing Children Respect Fill a Core Need
Meeting a child’s core need to be respected is essential for their emotional and psychological development. By showing respect through active listening, valuing their opinions, acknowledging their feelings, setting respectful boundaries, and modeling respectful behavior, we can help our children grow into confident, well-adjusted individuals. Let’s continue this journey together, creating a loving environment where our children can truly thrive.
