Teaching kids to form coherent arguments is a skill children should learn to develop during childhood to become confident and effective communicators when they are older.
As parents, we all want our children to grow into confident, effective communicators who can express their thoughts and beliefs clearly and respectfully. However, learning how to form a coherent argument is a skill that takes time to develop, and it starts with simple, everyday conversations. Whether explaining why they should stay up a little later or sharing their opinion on a school project, teaching kids how to make a case for what they think, using facts and reasoning sets them up for success.
By helping our children think critically and present their ideas clearly, we’re helping them develop a lifelong ability to communicate thoughtfully and respectfully. In this episode, I will share how we can make this habit second nature for our children.
Understand Your Topic
Before starting any argument, ensure you know what you’re talking about. Teach your children to learn about the topic by reading or asking questions so they are not just guessing.
Example: If your children wants you to consider later bedtime, your children need to understand what’s healthy for them at their age and how much sleep is really needed.
Clarify Your Position
Teach your children to be clear about the point or points they want to make. Help them think about and decide what they are trying to prove or change and say it.
Example: “I think I should go to bed at 9:00 instead of 8:30 because I’ve been getting my homework done on time.” This is a clear position.
Gather Supporting Evidence
Don’t just say what you want—back it up with reasons! Find facts or examples that help explain why your point makes sense. Help them gather evidence to support their position.
Example: For the bedtime argument, you could say, “Studies show that kids who are a little older, like me, can stay up later and still get enough sleep if they manage their time well.”
Consider Counterarguments
Encourage your children to consider what someone else might say about their argument and be ready to respond to it. This shows that they’ve considered both sides.
Example: “I know you might think I’ll be too tired for school if I stay up later, but I’ve been waking up easily for a week now, and I’m not sleepy during class.” Model for your children how to address a counterargument.
Structure Your Argument Clearly
Make sure your children learn that an effective argument has a beginning, middle, and end. This will make it easy for them to follow and understand.
Example:
Introduction: “I think I should go to bed later because I’ve shown I can handle it.”
Body: “First, I finish my homework on time. Second, I don’t feel tired in school. Third, I’ve been managing my time well.”
Conclusion: “So, for these reasons, I believe going to bed at 9:00 is a fair idea.”
Use Simple, Clear Language
Teach your children to talk in a way people can easily understand. Don’t use big words or confusing language. Just say what you mean.
Example: Instead of saying, “The situation is rather inequitable,” you can say, “It’s not fair.”
Stay Calm and Confident
When you’re making your argument, don’t get upset or start yelling. Speak in a calm voice, and stand tall.
Example: If your parent interrupts and says, “But you need your rest,” calmly reply, “I understand, but I’ve been getting enough sleep and feel great.”
Teaching Kids to Form Coherent Arguments by Concluding Effectively
When you finish, sum up your main points so it’s clear why your argument makes sense. Ending strongly helps people remember what you said.
Example: “To sum up, I finish my homework, wake up easily, and don’t get tired during the day. That’s why I think I can handle going to bed a little later.” This version uses relatable examples for kids and makes the instructions easy to follow, helping them understand how to make their point clearly and respectfully.”
Wrapping It Up
Ultimately, teaching our children how to form coherent arguments isn’t just about winning debates—it’s about helping them become thoughtful, confident communicators. As they learn to express their ideas clearly, listen to others, and back up their beliefs with facts, they’ll develop skills that will serve them well in every part of life. Whether they’re navigating friendships, school challenges, or future careers, the ability to communicate respectfully and logically is a powerful tool. By investing in this now, we’re preparing them for a lifetime of meaningful conversations and connections.
Have you ever wondered if your hopes and dreams for your child might be more about you than them? It’s a tough question, isn’t it? As parents, we want the best for our children. We want them to succeed, to be happy, and to reach their full potential. But sometimes, in our desire to guide them, we unintentionally place our expectations on their shoulders. This is why rethinking parental expectations that we have for our children offers possibilities for them to follow their God-given bend without damaging our relationship.
But what happens when those expectations don’t align with who our child truly is?
Today, let’s explore how we can rethink our parental expectations and learn to honor the unique, wonderful individuals our children are created to become. It’s about letting go, embracing the unknown, trusting the Lord, and finding joy in the journey of discovering who they are, not who they think they should be.
Why Parents Often Have Expectations and When Those Need to Shift
Parents, we’ve all been there—we set expectations for our kids because we love them so much and want the best for them. Maybe it’s because we value certain things, like a good education or a stable career, or maybe it’s just because we want to see them succeed and be happy. Sometimes, those expectations come from our experiences, the things we’ve learned, or even the dreams we never fulfilled.
It isn’t always easy to examine why we have certain expectations of our kids. But if we focus too much on molding them into our image, we risk stifling their growth and suppressing the qualities that make them unique. It also takes their Creator out of the picture, which is the opposite of what the Lord has planned for our children.
Impact of Expectations on Children
When we set expectations for our kids, it can really shape how they grow and develop. If our expectations are supportive and match who God made our kids to be—their strengths, interests, and personalities—it can boost their confidence and help them feel good about themselves. But when our expectations are too high or rigid, it can make them feel stressed, anxious, or even like they’re not good enough. That’s why it’s so important to find a balance. By being flexible and really listening to who our children are, we can help them grow into confident, resilient individuals ready to face whatever comes their way.
Learning to Honor Your Child’s Unique Nature
Honoring a child’s unique nature means recognizing and appreciating the individuality that each child brings into the world. It’s about seeing beyond the surface, beyond what we might expect or want for them, and truly understanding who they are—what makes them tick, what lights them up, and what makes them feel understood and loved.
When we honor our child’s unique nature, we say, “I see you. I value you for who you are, not for who I think you should be.” It’s about allowing them to explore their interests and passions, even if those paths differ from the ones we might have imagined for them. This approach fosters a sense of security and self-worth in our children. They begin to trust themselves, to believe in their own abilities, and to feel confident in expressing who they truly are.
Reframing Your Expectations
Guiding a child’s path is like being a supportive coach on the sidelines while controlling it, which is more like trying to direct every play in the game. When we guide our children, we’re there to offer advice, share our experiences, and help them navigate choices, but we also give them the freedom to explore, make their own decisions, and learn from their mistakes. It’s about trusting them to find their way, even if it’s different from the path we might have chosen.
On the other hand, controlling a child’s path means trying to dictate every step they take, deciding what they should do, who they should be, and how they should live their lives. It often comes from a place of love and wanting the best for them, but it can feel stifling to a child. It can prevent them from developing their own sense of identity and confidence in their abilities, and if we aren’t careful, it can also keep them from seeking God’s direction for their life.
Think of it this way: guiding is like giving your child a map and teaching them how to read it, while controlling is like holding the map yourself and telling them exactly where to go. Guiding helps them learn, grow, and become independent, while controlling can lead to resistance, frustration, and even a lack of self-confidence. It’s all about finding that balance between offering support and allowing them to be who they are meant to be.
How to Rethink Parental Expectations
Setting expectations that align with a child’s capabilities and interests starts with really getting to know your child—who they are, what they love, and what they’re good at. Here’s how you can do it in a simple, practical way:
Observe and Listen
Pay attention to what your child naturally enjoys doing and where they excel. Notice the activities that make them light up and lose track of time. Listening to their interests and passions is key.
Open Conversations
Talk with your child about their goals, interests, and what they find challenging or exciting. Ask them what they enjoy and what they’d like to try. These conversations can help you understand their dreams and fears, making setting expectations that match their abilities and desires easier.
Set Realistic Goals
Based on what you observe and the conversations you have, set goals that are challenging yet achievable. If your child loves writing but struggles with grammar, encourage them to write stories while gradually improving their grammar skills. The idea is to build on their strengths while gently supporting them in areas where they need growth.
Be Flexible and Discerning
Understand that interests and capabilities can change over time. What your child loves today might not be what they love tomorrow. Be open to adjusting expectations as your child grows and explores new things. It’s okay for goals to shift as your child discovers more about themselves.
Celebrate Effort and Progess, Not Just Outcomes
Focus on your child’s effort rather than just the end result. Praise them for trying hard, learning from mistakes, and showing perseverance. This approach encourages a growth mindset and helps them feel confident in taking on new challenges.
By setting expectations that are in line with who your child truly is, you’re helping them grow in a way that feels natural and empowering. You’re not just guiding them; you’re partnering with them in their journey to becoming their best selves.
Encourage Social Connections
Remind your child that getting involved on campus can help them feel more at home. Joining a club, playing intramural sports, and participating in a study group can be great ways to meet new friends and build a support system. We are created for community and relationships, and getting involved is an excellent way to ease homesickness.
Wrapping It Up
Honoring a child’s unique nature creates a supportive environment where they feel free to be themselves. We give them the room to fail, succeed, grow, and learn in their own ways.
This approach not only helps build a stronger, more authentic relationship between you and your child but also helps raise confident children who can listen to the Lord’s leading. And isn’t that what we all want for our children?
In today’s increasingly connected world, it’s nearly impossible to shield our children from political discourse. As parents, our role is to equip our kids with the tools to navigate Political Conversations with Kids Part 2 respectfully and confidently. In Part 1 of our series, we explored why political conversations matter and how to prepare your child for these discussions. In this second part, I’ll share how to handle political conversations with friends, navigate family gatherings, and encourage ongoing political conversations with your kids in the safety of your home.
Handling Political Conversations with Friends
Respect and Understanding
When it comes to politics, our kids are going to encounter different opinions, especially among their friends. It’s so important for them to learn that while we don’t always have to agree with others, we do need to respect their viewpoints. Encourage your child to listen first and think before responding. This simple approach can make all the difference in keeping conversations friendly and open. Remind them that it’s perfectly okay to say, “I see your point, but I think differently,” rather than brushing off someone else’s opinion. By teaching respect and understanding, we’re helping them build strong, compassionate relationships—even when opinions differ.
Peer Pressure
We all know how impact peer pressure can be, especially when politics enter the mix. We simply must prepare our kids for those moments when they might feel the urge to go along with their friends just to fit in.
When we talk about ways kids can stand firm in their beliefs while still being kind and respectful. Encourage them to use phrases like, “I think we just see this differently, and that’s okay,” to gracefully handle these situations. By building their confidence, we empower them to stay true to themselves, even when peer pressure is at its peak.
Real Life Political Conversations with Your Kids
To make these lessons stick, share a story from your own life or someone you know who successfully navigated a political conversation with a friend.
Real-life examples are powerful—they make the lessons more relatable and show our kids that it’s possible to stand firm in your beliefs while keeping your friendships intact.
Navigating Family Gatherings
Encouraging children to ask questions and think critically about political issues is vital. Teach them to evaluate information, consider different perspectives, and form their own opinions. Provide examples of questions they can ask, such as “Why do people have different opinions on this issue?” or “How does this law affect our community?” Role-playing scenarios where they practice discussing these questions can build their confidence and understanding.
Setting Boundaries for Political Conversations with Children
Family gatherings can be a mixed bag, especially when politics come up. It’s important to talk with your child about setting boundaries for these discussions. You might agree as a family to steer clear of politics during meals or certain family events. Setting these boundaries ahead of time can prevent uncomfortable situations and help everyone enjoy their time together. After all, gatherings should be about connection and fun, not about heated debates.
Dealing with Heated Discussions
Even with boundaries in place, sometimes political conversations can get a little heated. Teach your child how to stay calm and collected if things start to escalate. Practicing how to respond to intense comments can be incredibly helpful. Let them know it’s okay to step away from a conversation if it becomes too much. Simple phrases like, “Let’s agree to disagree,” or “Maybe we should take a break from this topic,” can be lifesavers in diffusing tension and keeping the peace.
Encouraging Ongoing Conversations
One of the best things we can do as parents is create a safe space at home and stay informed about these conversations. Let your child know that your home is a judgment-free zone where they can share their thoughts and questions without fear of being judged. This kind of environment encourages them to explore their ideas and engage in meaningful, thoughtful discussions.
Wrapping it Up
Talking about politics with our kids is an ongoing conversation that requires patience, understanding, and a commitment to open dialogue. By teaching them how to handle political discussions with friends, set boundaries during family gatherings, and keep the conversation going at home, we’re helping them grow into thoughtful, informed, and respectful individuals. Remember, these conversations aren’t just about politics—they’re about preparing our kids to navigate the complexities of the world with confidence and care.
Engaging in political conversations with kids can seem daunting, but it’s an important part of raising informed, thoughtful children. Guiding your kids in political discussions helps them understand the world around them and prepares them for their future roles as active citizens. In this first part of our series, I’ll explain why helping our children navigate political conversations matters and how to prepare your child for these important discussions.
In our fast-paced world, our kids are constantly seeing and hearing political news. As parents, it’s so important for us to help them understand what’s going on around them. By talking about politics in the home, we’re not just teaching them about their rights and responsibilities as citizens; we’re also helping them develop critical thinking skills. These skills are essential for making wise decisions throughout their lives. For example, when we explain why voting matters and how civic participation works, we’re setting the stage for them to become informed and engaged adults.
I remember one family dinner when Tom and I were discussing who we were going to vote for in an upcoming election. My ten-year-old, with that curious look in his eyes, asked, “Why is voting so important?” It was one of those moments where I realized the impact of our everyday conversations. We talked about how every vote helps choose leaders who make decisions affecting our community, like funding for schools and maintaining parks. This simple discussion sparked his curiosity about how things work and made him feel more confident and informed. I was delighted to see his interest grow right before my eyes. This was the beginning of many political conversations I had with my kids.
Preparing Your Children for Political Conversations
Age-Appropriate Political Conversations
When discussing politics with children, it’s essential to tailor the conversation to their age. Younger children need simple explanations, while older kids can handle more complex discussions. For instance, explaining voting to a six-year-old might involve comparing it to choosing a favorite ice cream flavor, whereas, with teenagers, you can explain the mechanics of elections and the impact of policies on their lives.
How to Simplify Complex Topics for Younger Kids
One of the biggest challenges in discussing politics with young children is simplifying complex topics. Breaking down information into smaller, understandable pieces can make a big difference. Use analogies and examples from their daily lives to explain difficult concepts. For example, you can describe taxes as a piggy bank where everyone puts in money to help pay for things everyone uses, like parks and schools. Visual aids like drawings and charts can also be incredibly helpful in making these ideas more tangible.
Political Conversations Teach Kids Critical Thinking
Encouraging children to ask questions and think critically about political issues is vital. Teach them to evaluate information, consider different perspectives, and form their own opinions. Provide examples of questions they can ask, such as “Why do people have different opinions on this issue?” or “How does this law affect our community?” Role-playing scenarios where they practice discussing these questions can build their confidence and understanding.
Role-Playing Scenarios
Practice makes perfect, and role-playing political conversations can be a fun and educational activity. Create scenarios where your child can practice discussing political topics respectfully and thoughtfully. This helps them prepare for real-life conversations and teaches them how to handle disagreements constructively.
Wrapping it Up
Engaging children in political conversations is a rewarding endeavor that prepares them for future civic engagement. By discussing why these conversations matter and how to approach them appropriately, we lay the groundwork for informed, responsible citizens. Stay tuned for Part 2, where we’ll delve into how children can handle political conversations with friends and family. Remember, these discussions are not just about understanding politics; they’re about fostering empathy, critical thinking, and active participation in our communities.
Welcome to Healthy Back to School Habits Part 2 with my friend, Loisann Fowler of Coach in Tandem! As the new school year approaches, we want to ensure our children are set up for success both in and out of the classroom. Today, Loisann and I will discuss three crucial areas: exercise and movement, managing stress, and relational downtime. Let’s explore some practical, easy-to-implement tips that will make a big difference in your child’s mental and emotional well-being.
Meeting our goals can be difficult when school picks back up. That’s why now is a perfect time to consider these five easy foundational non-negotiables that we can incorporate into our homes before school starts.
In part 2 of Healthy Back to School Habits, Loisann and I focus on exercise and movement, stress management, and relational downtime. Let’s start with exercise and movement.
Healthy Back to School Habits: Exercise and Movement
What do you mean when you say exercise and movement? It’s simple. It means making sure our children get up and move around. Today’s kids are sitting for far to long and need to get up and move for optimal health. Movement nourishes your body and gives your child energy. How do we know if our children are getting enough exercise?
Movement improves academic performance. It might take a little time initially, but you will quickly see results when your children put down their devices, turn off the TV, and move their bodies.
Mental and Emotional Clarity.
Physical development. Children who move and exercise on a regular basis build strong bones, increase muscle strength, and improve their quality of sleep.
Studies show that children who exercise and move perform better, think clearer, and experience a general sense of well-being.
Stress Management
Stress is part of life. Helping children learn how to manage stress well will bring peace and calmness to your children’s lives.
Establish a routine. A sense of security is provided when children have a daily routine. It also allows children to feel like they have some control over their lives.
Make time for physical activity. Physical activity releases endorphins which are natural mood lifters. Aim for 30 minutes a day, and you will see great improvements in your children.
Teach relaxation techniques. Children who learn how to relax will do better at managing stressful situations. One effective way is to teach children proper breathing techniques.
Simply practicing these three techniques will help our children stay calm under stressful situations.
Relational Downtime
Understanding why children need downtime built into their lives equips us with the knowledge we need to make this a priority.
Strengthens family bonds. Spending quality time with family members fosters a sense of security and belonging.
Enhances Emotional Intelligence. Relational downtime provides opportunities for children to express their feelings and understand the emotions of others.
Promotes relaxation and reduces stress. Unstructured, relaxed time with loved ones helps children unwind and decompress.
Encourages positive behavior. Positive interactions with family members serve as a model for appropriate behavior.
Supports Cognitive Development. Engaging in meaningful conversations and activities with family members stimulates cognitive growth.
Spending quality time with family is important for kids. It helps them feel secure and connected, knowing they have a strong support system. When families spend time together, kids learn to express their feelings and understand others’ emotions, which boosts their social skills and empathy. This downtime also gives kids a chance to relax and unwind, reducing stress and anxiety. Positive interactions during these moments teach kids good behavior and values.
Healthy Back to School Habits Matter
The little habits you implement today will yield huge rewards over time. Your children rely on you to teach and train them in the way they should go. You create an environment where they can truly flourish by creating healthy back-to-school habits, providing exercise time, managing stress, and allowing time in their day to focus on relationship building.
We are so glad you’re committed to helping your children grow and thrive. I pray our Healthy Back to School Habits series blessed and encouraged you. Remember, every small step you take makes a big difference. You’ve got this!
About Loisann Fowler
Loisann Flower is a nationally board-certified functional medicine health coach. She helps people from teens to 90-somethings uncover and achieve their highest wellness in body, mind, and spirit. There is a gap between our level of health today and where we want to be. Loisann’s coaching bridges that gap, discovering lasting practices for a strong and energetic life.
Welcome to Healthy Back to School Habits Part 1 with my friend, Loisann Fowler of Coach in Tandem! As the new school year approaches, we want to ensure our children are set up for success both in and out of the classroom. Today, Loisann and I will discuss two crucial areas: improving your child’s nutrition and ensuring they get quality sleep. Let’s explore some practical, easy-to-implement tips that will make a big difference in your child’s health and well-being.
I know life is busy, and meeting our healthy habits goals can be difficult when school picks back up. That’s why now is a perfect time to consider five easy foundational non-negotiables we can incorporate into our homes before school starts.
In part one of Healthy Back to School Habits, Loisann and I focus on eating real foods and getting quality sleep. Let’s start with eating real food.
Healthy Back to School Habits: Eat Real Food
What do you mean when you say eat real food? It’s simple. It means foods with no labels. No additives, food coloring, or added sugars. According to Mark Hyman, there is no such thing as “junk food.” There is junk, and there is food. What we are talking about here is real food. Food that nourishes your body and gives your child energy. How do we know if food is good?
Check labels. It might take a little time initially, but you will quickly find products that are better options for your children.
Choose fresh fruits and vegetables to have available for lunches and snack time.
Limit processed, pastries, or boxed goods as much as possible.
Introduce new natural food every day to expand your children’s palates.
Studies show that children who eat real food perform better, think clearer, and experience a general sense of well-being. What foods should our children eat?
Include 3 Foods Everyday
When we create our weekly meal plan, let’s focus on serving:
High-quality proteins
Healthy fats
Good Carbohydrates
By simply starting with these three food groups, we can have peace of mind knowing our children’s bodies are receiving the nutrients they need to thrive.
Healthy Back to School Habits: Quality Sleep
Understanding why children need quality sleep and getting them to get that sleep
Sleep allows our brain to repair damaged cells.
Hormones are rebalanced and reset during sleep cycles.
Sleep allows our brain to destress from the activities of the day.
Muscle and bone strength occur during sleep.
Emotional regulation happens while we sleep.
Knowledge is stored in our long-term memory when we sleep.
One of the best ways to ensure our children function optimally is to ensure they sleep for an appropriate number of hours.
Healthy Back to School Habits Matter
The little habits you implement today will yield huge rewards in your children’s future. Remember, they trust you to take care of them. Children don’t instinctively know what is good for them. You create an environment where they can truly thrive by creating healthy back-to-school habits, serving your children real food, and teaching them the importance of getting adequate sleep.
Thank you for joining us today! We’re so glad you’re here and committed to helping your child succeed. Stay tuned for Part 2 of our Healthy Back to School Habits series, where we’ll discuss three more easy, healthy habits to support your child’s success. Remember, every small step you take makes a big difference. You’ve got this!
About Loisann Fowler
Loisann Flower is a nationally board-certified functional medicine health coach. She helps people from teens to 90-somethings uncover and achieve their highest wellness in body, mind, and spirit. There is a gap between our level of health today and where we want to be. Loisann’s coaching bridges that gap, discovering lasting practices for a strong and energetic life.
