Have you ever found yourself hesitating to ask for something as simple as five minutes to drink your coffee while it’s still hot—or even a shower without someone knocking on the door? If you have, you’re not alone. Moms everywhere seek permission, often from their spouses or even themselves, to care for their most basic needs. Why is that? Why do we feel guilty for wanting a moment to breathe? In this episode, we’re diving into the heart of this growing trend—why moms feel the need to ask for self-care, how societal pressures and “mom guilt” play a role, and what we can do to break free. Spoiler: taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s survival. Let’s unpack this together.
Why do we carry this guilt like an extra piece of luggage on an already overloaded trip called motherhood? Let’s talk about it—because you deserve care too, and spoiler alert: the world will not fall apart if you take a break. (Though it might feel like it sometimes!)
The Universal Struggles of Motherhood
Motherhood is a beautiful, transformative journey, but let’s be honest—it’s also one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. Whether you’re cradling a newborn, chasing a toddler, or navigating the complex emotions of raising a teenager, the mental load of motherhood is relentless.
It’s not just about keeping up with the day-to-day tasks like feeding, cleaning, work, or scheduling activities—it’s about carrying the weight of your family’s needs, emotions, and futures. And the truth is, society has set us up to believe we need to be “everything for everyone.”
Endless Mental Load
As moms, we’re not just managing logistics; we’re juggling expectations. We’re the ones remembering doctors’ appointments, planning meals, keeping track of school schedules, and anticipating the needs of everyone in the family before they even ask. And no matter how much we do, there’s always that nagging feeling that it’s not enough.
Society has reinforced the idea that “good moms” are selfless, constantly giving, and always on top of everything. It’s no wonder so many of us struggle with guilt when we even think about taking a moment for ourselves.
Mom Guilt at Every Stage
Motherhood may look different depending on the season you’re in, but the feelings of guilt and pressure remain the same.
Signs that your parenting approach might be broken:
New Moms: If you’re a new mom, you’re probably navigating sleepless nights, feeding schedules, and figuring out how to keep this tiny human alive. The world tells you that your baby should come first in every way, which makes it easy to feel guilty for even wanting a hot shower or five minutes of peace.
Moms of Multiples: The struggle multiplies if you’re raising more than one child. You’re not just managing individual needs; you’re also playing referee, peacemaker, and multitasking expert. And let’s be honest—trying to give equal attention to all your kids while keeping the household running feels impossible. The guilt of “not doing enough” for each child can be overwhelming.
Moms of Older Kids: If your kids are older, the challenges shift, but don’t disappear. You’re helping with homework, driving them to activities, and supporting them emotionally as they navigate friendships, school pressures, and big life decisions. And even though they’re more independent, you may find yourself asking, “Am I doing too much or not enough?”
No matter the stage of motherhood, there’s always that pressure to measure up—to be the mom who’s got it all figured out, who never misses a beat, and who always puts her family first.
The Pressure to Be “Everything for Everyone”
This pressure isn’t something we consciously choose; it’s something we absorb from the world around us. From social media to family expectations, there’s this unspoken rule that moms should have it all together.
We see other moms posting their picture-perfect moments online and wonder why we can’t seem to manage the same. We hear well-meaning advice from others and feel like we’re falling short because we’re not doing things “their way.”
But here’s the thing—motherhood is hard for all of us. Behind every polished Instagram photo is a mom who has her own struggles, her own doubts, and her own moments of exhaustion.
You Are Not Alone
The struggles you’re facing are universal, and so are the feelings of guilt. Whether you’re up at 2 a.m. with a crying baby or worrying about your teenager’s choices, you’re doing the best you can in a role that demands so much.
You don’t have to be everything for everyone. The most important thing is that you’re there, showing up for your family in your own way. And while it’s easy to focus on all the things you haven’t done, I want to remind you of this: you’re already doing so much.
Motherhood is challenging at every stage, but you don’t have to carry the weight alone. It’s okay to take a step back, to breathe, and to give yourself the grace you so freely give to others. ❤️
The Need for Permission—Why It Happens
If you’ve ever felt guilty for taking time for yourself, you’re not alone—I’ve been there too. It’s not your fault. Our world has long told moms that we’re supposed to be everything to everyone, all the time. These societal expectations paint mothers as having to be“selfless” caregivers, implying that any act of self-care takes something away from our families. That idea? It’s exhausting—and it’s wrong. Yes, we are all those things, but God tells us to work for six days and then rest.
How Societal Norms Shape Us
From the moment we become moms, there’s an unspoken pressure to sacrifice our own needs for the sake of our families. Think about the phrases we often hear:
“A good mom puts her children first. “Mothers are the glue that holds everything together.”
While there’s truth in the importance of a mother’s role, these messages leave little room for our humanity. They suggest that caring for yourself somehow means you’re failing as a mom.
How This Affects New Moms
For new moms, these societal expectations are magnified. You’re adjusting to a completely new life—trying to figure out how to keep this tiny human alive while navigating your own exhaustion and emotions.
And yet, the fear of being judged can feel overwhelming:
“What if people think I’m lazy for asking my partner to take over so I can nap?”
“Am I a bad mom if I need a break from my baby for just five minutes?”
The fear of being labeled as selfish keeps many new moms from even voicing their needs, let alone meeting them. This is where guilt starts to creep in, making you feel like you’re doing something wrong simply by wanting time for yourself.
How This Affects Seasoned Moms
The struggle doesn’t stop as your kids grow. For seasoned moms, it often looks like this: you’ve spent years being the go-to person for everything—meals, homework help, emotional support—and now it feels impossible to step back.
“If I don’t do it, who will?”
“My family is used to me taking care of everything. How do I let that go?”
Even when your kids are older and capable of doing more on their own, it can be hard to shift out of the mindset that your value as a mom is tied to how much you do for everyone else.
The Role of a Spouse, Family Member and Internailzed Guilt
Sometimes, it’s not just society, it’s the people closest to us. Partners or family members might unintentionally reinforce these expectations by assuming we’ll handle it all.
A partner might say, “You’re so much better at calming the baby,” which leaves you feeling like taking a break isn’t an option.
Family members might comment, “Your kids are lucky to have such a hands-on mom,” which sounds like praise but adds pressure to keep doing everything.
And then there’s the voice in your own head—the one that says:
“I shouldn’t need help.”
“Other moms seem to manage just fine. Why can’t I?”
This internalized guilt can be the hardest to overcome because it convinces you that asking for self-care is a weakness rather than a strength. Your spouse or other family members can’t read your mind. They don’t know how you’re feeling unless you tell them.
Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and ask for help! They love you and want you to be your best.
You’re Not Alone
Here’s the truth: needing time for yourself doesn’t mean you’re failing as a mom. It means you’re human. The idea that mothers have to be selfless 24/7 is a myth, and it’s okay to reject it.
Whether you’re a new mom afraid of judgment or a seasoned mom struggling to let go, know this: you’re not alone. Every mom, at every stage, has wrestled with these feelings. And it’s not your fault.
What would happen if we started giving ourselves the same grace and care we show our children? What if we stopped asking for permission to rest and simply claimed it as our right?
You don’t have to do it all, and you don’t have to do it alone. Let’s break free from the guilt together—one step at a time. ❤️
The Cost of Ignoring Self-Care
Motherhood is a beautiful, rewarding journey, but can also be exhausting. Whether you’re a new mom navigating sleepless nights or a seasoned mom juggling the demands of older children, the temptation to put everyone else first is strong. But ignoring self-care doesn’t just take a toll on you—it can impact your family, too. Let’s explore why prioritizing yourself is essential for your health, happiness, and the well-being of your loved ones.
The Mental and Physical Toll of Neglecting Self-Care
New motherhood often feels like a whirlwind of joy, exhaustion, and endless to-dos. For many new moms, the pressure to meet every need of their baby—and everyone else—leaves little room to care for themselves. But Mom can’t pour from an empty pitcher. We must not neglect to get some time to refresh our souls. So, what happens if we overlook self-care?
Increased Risk of Postpartum Depression and Anxiety: Without moments to recharge, new moms are more likely to experience mental health struggles such as postpartum depression and anxiety. Studies show that the lack of rest, isolation, and self-neglect can exacerbate these feelings.
Physical Depletion: Exhaustion from sleepless nights, skipping meals, or ignoring basic hygiene can weaken your immune system and overall health.
Sometimes, the hardest part is acknowledging that something isn’t working and being willing to change. A wise mom takes time to consider why she struggles to ask for help.
Seasoned Moms: Chronic Stress and the Erosion of Identity
Motherhood evolves, but the demands don’t disappear. Seasoned moms, who may have older kids or teens, face a different kind of stress—one rooted in years of self-neglect and growing responsibilities.
Burnout and Fatigue: Chronic stress builds over time, leading to burnout that can manifest as irritability, exhaustion, or even physical symptoms like headaches and body pain.
Loss of Personal Identity: Many seasoned moms feel they’ve lost touch with who they are beyond their role as a parent, leaving them unfulfilled and disconnected from their passions.
How Stress Ripples Through Family Dynamics
When moms neglect self-care, it doesn’t just affect them; it impacts the entire family.
Stress is contagious!
Wrapping It Up: You Deserve Some Self-Care
Motherhood is one of the most profound and selfless journeys you’ll ever take, but it doesn’t mean you have to pour from an empty cup. Let’s be honest—being a mom is hard work. It’s full of beautiful, messy, and deeply meaningful moments, but it’s also exhausting. And if you’re constantly putting yourself last, it’s easy to lose sight of your well-being.
Here’s the truth: self-care isn’t selfish. It’s an act of love for yourself and your family. When you take time to care for your health, mind, and spirit, you’re better equipped to show up for the people you love. You’re teaching your kids that caring for yourself is a strength, not a weakness.
So, let me ask you—what small step can you take today to prioritize yourself? Maybe it’s five quiet minutes with a cup of tea, a short walk, or simply asking for help with something that’s been weighing you down. Whatever it is, know this: you’re worth it, and your family will benefit too.
Remember: you’re doing a great job. You’re not alone, and you’re enough. Take care of yourself—you deserve it. ❤️
Parenting: it’s equal parts heartwarming and hair-pulling, isn’t it? One moment, you’re basking in the glow of your child’s sweet hug, and the next, you’re wondering if you’ve completely lost your touch because nothing—absolutely nothing—seems to work. Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “Is my parenting broken, or does it just need a little tune-up?” If so, you’re not alone. Most parents question their parenting approach.
There is a way to tell the difference and, more importantly, what to do about it. Spoiler alert: it’s not about being perfect; it’s about showing up and growing alongside your child.
How do you determine if the problem is a complete breakdown or merely a case of needing minor adjustments? Let’s start by exploring the signs that your parenting approach might actually be broken.
How to Recognize If Your Parenting Approach Is Working Or Not
Parenting isn’t one-size-fits-all, and what works in one season might not work in another. But when something is truly broken, it becomes clear that continuing the same approach is causing harm or preventing progress.
Signs that your parenting approach might be broken:
Emotional Disconnect: Your child seems distant or unresponsive to your efforts to connect.
Constant Conflict: Every interaction feels like a battle, leaving both you and your child frustrated.
Negative Impact: The current method creates stress, anxiety, or harm for you, your child, or your relationship.
No Progress Despite Effort: You’ve tried different strategies, but nothing seems to improve the situation.
If these signs resonate with you, it may be time to step back and consider letting go of what isn’t working.
When Your Parenting Approach Is Not Broken—Just Not Working Properly
On the other hand, not every struggle means your parenting style is fundamentally flawed. Sometimes, it’s about adjusting to fit your child’s unique needs or the changing dynamics of your family.
Signs it’s just not working correctly:
Partial Success: You see small victories and areas where things could improve.
Changing Needs: Your child’s age, personality, or life circumstances have shifted, and your approach hasn’t kept up.
Feedback from Your Child: They express frustration or disengagement, but there’s still a foundation of trust.
The foundation is still solid in these cases—you just need a new perspective or small tweaks.
Practical Steps to Move Forward with Confidence
Evaluate the Situation with Honesty
Ask yourself:
Is this approach aligned with my goals as a parent?
Does it bring peace and progress to our home, or does it create unnecessary tension?
Sometimes, the hardest part is admitting that something isn’t working and being willing to change.
Sometimes, the hardest part is acknowledging that something isn’t working and being willing to change.
Seek Insights and Wisdom
Talk to your child (in an age-appropriate way) about what’s not working. Their perspective can reveal blind spots you hadn’t considered. Also, seek counsel from trusted mentors, friends, or parenting resources to gain fresh ideas.
Make Small Adjustments Before Letting Go
If it’s not broken, don’t toss it out. Instead, consider small changes:
Simplify Expectations: Are you asking too much of yourself or your child?
Adjust Your Communication: Would a gentler or more direct approach help?
Incorporate Flexibility: Allow room for trial and error as you adjust your methods.
Even small shifts can yield big results over time..
Know When To Let Go
If the situation is clearly broken and causing harm, it’s okay to let go. Release the guilt and remember: letting go doesn’t mean failure—it means making space for something better. You can replace old habits that are no longer effective. I know it takes courage to pivot, sometimes because we are afraid, but don’t let fear dictate your parenting. Pray. Talk to your spouse. Trust the Lord with your child.
Celebrate the courage it takes to pivot, knowing it’s an investment in your child’s future.
Do you ever feel like life is just too much? The piles of stuff on your counters, the to-do lists that seem to grow by the minute, or the nagging thoughts that keep you up at night—it all adds up. But here’s the good news: you don’t have to live overwhelmed. By learning to simplify and declutter your life, you can create space for what truly matters and start to thrive.
Let’s learn how to begin decluttering your mind, heart, and home to embrace a simpler, more joyful life.
Declutter Your Mind: Finding Clarity in Chaos
Have you ever felt like your brain just won’t turn off? You’re lying in bed, exhausted, but your thoughts keep racing—replaying something you said earlier, stressing about tomorrow’s to-do list, or worrying about things completely out of your control. That, my friend, is mental clutter. And just like a messy room can make it hard to focus, a cluttered mind can make it tough to feel at peace.
But here’s the good news: you can clear out the mental mess, just like you can clean up a cluttered drawer. It won’t happen all at once, but with a few simple steps, you can create more space for clarity, calm, and joy.
Identify Mental Clarity
Mental clutter is all those swirling thoughts, worries, and distractions that make it hard to think clearly. It’s that never-ending to-do list running in your head, the replay of a conversation where you wish you had said something different, or the feeling that you’re juggling too many things at once.
Sound familiar? If so, you’re not alone. We all deal with mental clutter, but the key is learning how to clear it out so it doesn’t take over our peace.
Practical Ways to Clear Your Mind
Clearing mental clutter doesn’t have to be complicated—sometimes, small, simple habits can make the biggest difference in bringing clarity and peace. Here are three practical steps you can use to clear your mind:
Journaling as a Brain Dump for Your Thoughts: One of the best ways to clear mental clutter is to write it down. Grab a notebook, a sticky note, or even the notes app on your phone, and just dump everything that’s cluttering your brain. No need to make it neat—just let the thoughts flow. I keep a journal on my nightstand to help me remember ideas I have while drifting off to sleep.
Meditation or Prayer: If your brain feels overloaded, sometimes the best thing to do is nothing at all. Just sit still for five minutes—breathe, pray, or simply close your eyes and let yourself rest. Starting with just 5 minutes of quiet reflection each day. If you’re new to this, try setting a timer for five minutes and focusing on your breathing. If your thoughts wander (which they will!), just gently bring your focus back. It might feel awkward at first, but over time, these small moments of quiet can help clear the mental clutter and bring peace.
Prioritize Tasks: Not everything that feels urgent is actually important. One of the best ways to simplify your mind is to get clear on what truly needs your attention. I pick three priorities for the day and try not to worry about anything else.
Once I have a list, it takes the pressure off and helps me feel productive without feeling overwhelmed.
The Power of Saying ‘No’
One of the biggest reasons our minds feel cluttered is that we’re trying to do too much. Between work, family, commitments, and expectations, it’s easy to feel stretched thin. But here’s the truth: You don’t have to say yes to everything.
Saying no isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. When you set healthy boundaries and simplify your commitments, you create space for what truly matters.
So, if your schedule feels too full or your brain feels overloaded, take a moment to ask:
Do I really need to do this?
Is this something I really want to commit to?
Will saying ‘yes’ add more stress than joy?
Even five minutes of quiet reflection—whether through journalling, prayer, meditation or simply sitting still—can help clear the mental clutter and give you the clarity you need to move forward.
Simplify Your Heart: Letting Go of Emotional Baggage
Life isn’t just about physical clutter. Sometimes, the things we carry in our hearts—unresolved feelings, self-doubt, or even toxic relationships—are what truly weigh us down. Simplifying emotionally is just as important as cleaning out a closet.
Realize What is Holding You Back
Think about what you’re holding onto that no longer serves you. Is it a grudge, a fear, or a regret? Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting; it means choosing to move forward.h. Hearing your stories helps them see that everyone struggles, and that’s okay.
Focus on Gratitude
One of the simplest ways to declutter your heart is to fill it with gratitude. Start each day by listing three things you’re thankful for. Gratitude shifts your focus from what’s wrong to what’s right in your life.
Nurture Positive Relationships
Simplify your social circle by focusing on the people who uplift, encourage, and support you. It’s okay to create boundaries with relationships that drain you emotionally.
Simplify Your Home: Creating a Space for Peace
Have you ever walked into a messy room and instantly felt stressed? Clutter has a way of making everything feel overwhelming—like there’s just too much to do and not enough time. But here’s the good news: you don’t have to tackle it all at once. Creating a peaceful home starts with small, simple steps that make a big difference over time.
Start Small
Decluttering doesn’t have to mean tearing apart your entire house. In fact, trying to do too much at once can leave you feeling more frustrated than when you started! Instead, pick just one small area—a single drawer, a shelf, or even your purse—and focus on that. When you finish, take a moment to appreciate the progress. One small win leads to another, and before you know it, your home will start to feel lighter and more peaceful.
Use the “Keep, Donate, Toss” Method
Sometimes, the hardest part of decluttering is deciding what to do with everything. A simple way to make decisions easier is to sort your items into three piles:
Keep: Things you use often and truly love.
Donate: Items in good condition that could bless someone else.
Toss: Anything broken, outdated, or that no longer serves a purpose.
If you’re unsure about something, ask yourself: Does this add value to my life? If not, it might be time to let it go.
Involve Your Family
Decluttering isn’t just a solo task—it’s a great opportunity to teach kids about gratitude and caring for their space. Make it fun! Put on music, set a timer, or turn it into a game. Encourage your kids to choose toys or clothes they no longer use to donate, helping them see the joy in giving to others.
Instead of throwing treasures away, which might be hard, get your children to help you pick a thrift store to donate to or a family who needs what you have. Then, you are blessing others while simplifying.
Simplify To Thrive: Benefits of Letting Go
When you simplify your life, something amazing happens: you create space for what matters to you.
Here are just a few ways decluttering helps clear your mind:
Mental Clarity: A clear mind gives you the focus to tackle challenges confidently.
Emotional Freedom: Letting go of emotional clutter creates space for joy and connection.
Physical Calm: An organized home fosters peace and reduces stress.
Simplifying isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. Every step you take to declutter your mind, heart, and home brings you closer to the life you want to live.
Wrapping Up: Simplify To Thrive Today
You don’t need to overhaul your entire life overnight. Start small, focus on one area, and take one step at a time. Whether it’s clearing a corner of your home, letting go of an old grudge, or taking a moment of quiet, each step you take toward simplicity will help you flourish.
Remember, simplifying isn’t about having less—it’s about making room for more: more peace, more joy, and more of what really matters.
There’s something magical about the idea of starting over. Whether it’s a new day, a new season, or just a chance to try again, fresh starts remind us that our past does not define us. This is especially true for our children, who are constantly learning, growing, and navigating the ups and downs of life. The power of fresh starts isn’t just for them—it’s a gift we can give ourselves as parents, too.
I remember walking into the kitchen to find my daughter staring at a crumpled piece of paper with frustrated tears in her eyes. “It’s ruined,” they muttered, holding up her half-finished drawing. I sat beside her, picked up a fresh sheet of paper, and said, “It’s not ruined—it’s practice. Let’s start again.” Her reaction turned from defeat to curiosity, and before I knew it, she was drawing again, this time with a little more confidence and a whole lot of determination.
That moment reminded me of the power of fresh starts—a gift we can give ourselves as we teach our children. Whether it’s a second attempt at a project or a new beginning after a tough day, fresh starts are where growth happens.
Why Fresh Starts Matter for Kids (and Parents!)
Kids are natural learners, but learning often comes with challenges. Whether they’re struggling with a subject in school, navigating friendships, or learning how to manage their emotions, they’re bound to stumble along the way. Fresh starts teach them that mistakes aren’t failures—they’re opportunities to grow.
For parents, embracing the power of fresh starts allows us to approach parenting with grace. It’s easy to feel stuck in patterns of frustration or guilt, but every day is a chance to reset, reconnect, and choose a new approach.
How to Help Your Child Embrace The Power of Fresh Starts
Fresh starts don’t just happen—they’re learned. Your children need guidance to understand that mistakes and setbacks aren’t the end of the road but rather stepping stones to growth. As parents, we have the opportunity to shape their perspective by modeling resilience and teaching them how to embrace new beginnings with confidence.
Normalize Mistakes
Kids need to know that making mistakes is part of life. Share your experiences— when you had to start over and how it led to growth. Hearing your stories helps them see that everyone struggles, and that’s okay. Mistakes aren’t failures; they’re lessons in disguise.
Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection
Instead of focusing on what went wrong, highlight what they’re doing right. Did they try again after a tough moment? Did they approach a challenge with a better attitude? Recognizing effort helps them see the value of persistence. When we celebrate progress, we teach our children that success isn’t about never failing—it’s about never giving up.
Create Simple Opportunities for Fresh Starts
Encourage your child to reset after a rough day. Something as simple as saying, “Tomorrow is a new day, and we can try again,” can be powerful. Teach them to take breaks when they’re frustrated and come back with a fresh perspective. Start new habits together, like making morning routines run smoother or setting up a homework plan. The more they experience small, daily fresh starts, the more they’ll believe in their ability to begin again when bigger challenges arise.
By helping your child embrace the power of fresh starts, you’re equipping them with a mindset that will serve them for life. They’ll learn that growth happens through trial and error, persistence matters more than perfection, and every day brings a new opportunity to try again.
Practical Life Skills That Support Fresh Starts
Fresh starts aren’t just about mindset—they’re about building skills that help children approach challenges with confidence. By equipping them with practical tools, we can help them navigate setbacks, try again, and develop resilience for the long haul.
Teach the Importance of Routines
A routine provides structure and helps children feel in control. Even small routines, like making their bed or organizing their backpack, can create a sense of accomplishment and readiness to tackle the day. When life feels unpredictable, routines offer a sense of security and a clear path forward.
Set Age-Appropriate Goals
Show your children how to set goals they can realistically achieve. For younger kids, it could be learning to tie their shoes. For older kids, it might be improving a grade in one subject or saving for something special. Break goals into small, achievable steps to build momentum and reinforce the idea that progress happens one step at a time.
Model Problem Solving
Life is full of challenges; children learn problem-solving best by watching you. Discuss how you’ll handle something that doesn’t go as planned. This shows them that starting over is normal—and even adults do it! Instead of viewing setbacks as failures, they’ll begin to see them as opportunities to learn and adjust.
By teaching these practical skills, we give our children the tools to confidently embrace fresh starts. Over time, they’ll come to understand that challenges don’t define them—how they respond to those challenges does.
Fresh Starts Bring Joy to Parenting
Let’s be honest: parenting isn’t always smooth sailing. We all have those days where patience runs thin, and we feel like we’re falling short. But the beauty of fresh starts is that we get to try again, just like our kids do.
When I think about the power of fresh starts, I remember a moment with one of my children. It had been a rough day full of meltdowns (for both of us), and I felt defeated. But at bedtime, I hugged them and said, “Tomorrow is a new day. Let’s try again, okay?” Their little face lit up, and at that moment, I realized how much children crave the grace of a fresh start.
Wrapping It Up: Embrace The Power of Fresh Starts Today
Parenting is a journey, and each day gives us a new opportunity to guide, encourage, and grow alongside our children. By teaching them the power of fresh starts, we’re giving them a lifelong tool to face challenges with courage and resilience.
So, take a deep breath. Whether today was a win or a struggle, tomorrow is another chance to start fresh. Let’s embrace it together.
Embracing Imperfect Holidays will help you save your sanity and find joy when Christmas doesn’t go as planned.
Let’s be honest: Christmas rarely goes exactly as we imagine. We picture cozy fireside moments, perfectly behaved children in matching pajamas, and a spread worthy of a magazine cover. But what actually happens? The cookies burn, the kids argue over who gets to put the star on the tree, and you end up eating pizza because the turkey didn’t defrost.
Sound familiar?
If this is your Christmas, you’re not alone. I think most of us experience an “imperfect” holiday in one way or another. And while it’s easy to get caught up in the chaos or feel like we’ve somehow failed, I’ve learned that those messy, unexpected moments can hold the most meaning—if we let them.
Let’s look at how we can turn the hardest of situations into merry and joy while Embracing Imperfect Holidays.
The Reality of Embracing Imperfect Holidays
There have been Christmases when everything went wrong. Like the year I forgot to buy batteries for the kids’ toys (pro tip: always check the box!), or the time we got snowed in and had to cancel plans with family. Then there were heavier seasons, like the first Christmas after losing a loved one or when finances were tight, and gifts had to come second to paying the bills.
Those imperfect holidays were hard. But looking back, they also taught me something beautiful: Christmas doesn’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. Some of my favorite memories come from those less-than-perfect years—when we laughed through the mishaps, leaned on each other, and focused on what matters.
Letting Go of the Pressure to Be Perfect
We live in a world that tells us everything has to look Instagram-worthy—the decorations, the dinner, even our family relationships. But chasing perfection will only leave you stressed and disappointed.
Here’s the truth: Nobody’s holiday is perfect. Behind every “picture-perfect” social media post is a toddler meltdown, a burned casserole, or a family disagreement. And you know what? That’s okay. Christmas isn’t about perfection. It’s about connection, love. and most importantly, about remembering the gift of grace that came wrapped in swaddling clothes.
Find Joy in Imperfect Holidays
When things don’t go as planned, it’s easy to feel discouraged. But those moments are often where the magic happens. For example, when your burnt cookies turn into a family joke or when canceled plans lead to a quiet evening of board games and hot cocoa,
Here are a few ways to embrace the imperfections and find joy this Christmas:
Reset Expectations: Let go of the pressure to have everything just right. Focus on what truly matters: being with the people you love, sharing a meal, or simply enjoying the quiet moments. Your kids won’t remember if the wrapping paper matched; they’ll remember how you made them feel.
Lean Into the Unexpected: When plans fall apart, look for opportunities to make new memories—snowed in? Build a blanket fort and watch Christmas movies. Burned the dinner? Order takeout and have a picnic under the tree. Embracing the chaos often leads to the best stories.
Honor the Hard Moments: If this season feels heavy—whether it’s grief, loneliness, or financial strain—give yourself permission to feel those emotions. It’s okay to acknowledge the hard while still finding joy in the small, meaningful moments. Light a candle for a loved one, start a new tradition, or focus on gratitude for what you have.
Remember the True Meaning of Christmas: When everything feels overwhelming, return to the season’s heart. Christmas isn’t about perfect meals, gifts, or decorations. It’s about love. It’s about grace. It’s about the Light that came into a broken, messy world to bring hope.
Connect With Others and Seek Support
If you’re feeling lonely or overwhelmed, reaching out to loved ones—even briefly—can provide comfort.
Here’s how we can guide our children toward a healthy expression of gratitude:
Call or text a friend, family member, or support group.
Consider joining a community event or volunteering, as helping others fosters connection and joy.
Embrace Imperfect Holidays with Prayer
Staying present in the moment helps reduce anxiety and sadness during stressful times.
Try deep breathing, a mindfulness app, or journaling to stay present and calm.
Focus on sensory details: the smell of a meal, the sound of a child’s laughter, or the warmth of a blanket.
Wrapping It Up: A Christmas That’s Real, Not Perfect
This year, if your Christmas feels far from what you imagined, take heart. The beauty of the season isn’t in getting everything right; it’s in showing up, loving well, and finding joy in the imperfections. Embracing imperfect holidays isn’t easy, but it is possible.
So here’s to the burnt cookies, the last-minute gift wrap, and the moments that don’t go as planned. Here’s to the laughter, the love, and the grace that fills the gaps. And here’s to remembering that the very first Christmas wasn’t picture-perfect either—but it changed the world forever.
Praying for you to enjoy peace, joy, and all the beautifully messy moments this Christmastime.
How Humor Defuses Tense Parenting Moments. It is true using humor is something you can use everyday to reduce challenges between you and your child.
Parenting is messy, unpredictable, and sometimes downright overwhelming. From toddler tantrums to teenage sarcasm, the challenges can quickly turn into stress-filled moments. But here’s the good news: laughter can save the day! Humor isn’t just about making things funny—it’s a tool that can defuse tension, strengthen connections, and help you navigate even the trickiest parenting situations with grace and a smile.
Let’s look at how humor can turn those tense parenting moments into opportunities for connection, laughter, and growth.
Why Humor Matters in Parenting
Parenting is a high-stakes job, and it’s easy to feel the weight of trying to “get it all right.” But here’s the thing: you don’t have to be perfect to be a great parent—you need to show up, be present, and sometimes, laugh at the craziness of it all.
Humor lightens the load and reminds you (and your kids) that not every moment has to be so serious. When you bring laughter into the mix, you:
Break the tension under challenging moments.
Show your kids how to manage emotions positively.
Create shared memories that strengthen family bonds.
Let’s break down how humor works.
How Humor Defuses Tense Parenting Moments
Laughter Breaks the Tension
Humor is like a remote control that defuses stress and breaks the emotional cycle of frustration or anger. Whether your toddler is throwing a tantrum or your teenager is rolling their eyes at you, a well-timed joke or playful response can completely shift the mood.
Example: Your preschooler refuses to put on their shoes and plants themselves firmly on the floor. Instead of escalating, you grab the shoes, hold them up like they’re puppets, and say in a funny voice, “Uh-oh! These shoes are sad because they want to go on an adventure! Who’s going to take them out to explore today?” Before you know it, your child is giggling, and those shoes are on faster than you expected.
Humor Model Emotional Regulation
When you use humor to handle tense moments, you’re showing your children a positive way to deal with frustration. Instead of reacting with anger or stress, you’re demonstrating calm and creativity. Kids learn by watching, and your approach teaches them that it’s okay to pause and look for a lighter perspective.
Example: Your teenager sarcastically says, “Ugh, you’re so embarrassing.” Instead of taking offense, you reply with a smile, “Oh, just wait—my dance moves at soccer drop-off tomorrow will really seal the deal!” Cue laughter (and maybe a little cringing), and the tension melts away. 🙂
Humor Strengthens Parent-Child Bonds
When you laugh with your children, you’re creating shared moment that bring you closer. Those funny, silly moments remind your kids that you’re on their side, even when things get tough.
Example: Your child struggles with math homework and starts to get upset. You say, “I could help, but last time I tried, I think I broke the calculator!” Your lighthearted comment shifts the energy, and suddenly, tackling math doesn’t feel so overwhelming. Use something that your child can relate to.
Humor Redirects the Focus
Sometimes, all children need is a little distraction to help them reset. Humor offers a gentle way to redirect their attention away from frustration and toward something positive.
Example: Your toddler refuses to eat broccoli. Instead of forcing the issue, you say, “Did you know broccoli makes you run faster? Let’s see if it works!” Suddenly, the broccoli becomesI exciting, and dinner just got a whole lot easier.
Humor Helps You (the Parent!) Stay Calm
Let’s be honest: parenting can be tough. Humor doesn’t just help your kids—it helps you. Laughing at a challenging situation gives you the emotional distance to handle it with more patience and grace.
Example: Your toddler colors on the wall with crayons. Instead of panicking, you laugh and say, “Wow, you’ve got a real Picasso vibe going here! But let’s save the masterpieces for paper, okay?” Now, instead of spiraling into frustration, you’ve turned the moment into a manageable situation.
Tips for Using Humor Defuses Tense Parenting Moments
Read the Room: Not every moment calls for a joke. If your child is upset, validate their feelings before using humor.
Keep It Playful, Not Sarcastic: Avoid humor that could feel critical or mocking to your child.
Match Their Age and Personality: What makes a toddler laugh might not work for a teenager—adjust your humor accordingly.
Celebrate the Funny Moments: Keep a journal of funny things your kids say or do. These memories will bring joy for years to come.
Wrapping It Up: It’s Okay to Laugh:
Parenting is full of messy, frustrating, and downright ridiculous moments—but those moments are what make the journey so memorable. By using humor, you can navigate the chaos with a little more grace and a lot more joy.
So the next time your toddler refuses to wear pants, or your teenager gives you attitude, remember: it’s okay to laugh. In fact, it’s necessary. Because sometimes, laughter is the only thing keeping you sane—and it’s the glue that holds your family together.
What’s the funniest parenting moment you’ve had recently? I’d love to hear your stories—share them in the comments or send me a message! Let’s laugh together and celebrate the beautiful chaos of parenting.
