Teaching kids to form coherent arguments is a skill children should learn to develop during childhood to become confident and effective communicators when they are older.
As parents, we all want our children to grow into confident, effective communicators who can express their thoughts and beliefs clearly and respectfully. However, learning how to form a coherent argument is a skill that takes time to develop, and it starts with simple, everyday conversations. Whether explaining why they should stay up a little later or sharing their opinion on a school project, teaching kids how to make a case for what they think, using facts and reasoning sets them up for success.
By helping our children think critically and present their ideas clearly, we’re helping them develop a lifelong ability to communicate thoughtfully and respectfully. In this episode, I will share how we can make this habit second nature for our children.
Understand Your Topic
Before starting any argument, ensure you know what you’re talking about. Teach your children to learn about the topic by reading or asking questions so they are not just guessing.
Example: If your children wants you to consider later bedtime, your children need to understand what’s healthy for them at their age and how much sleep is really needed.
Clarify Your Position
Teach your children to be clear about the point or points they want to make. Help them think about and decide what they are trying to prove or change and say it.
Example: “I think I should go to bed at 9:00 instead of 8:30 because I’ve been getting my homework done on time.” This is a clear position.
Gather Supporting Evidence
Don’t just say what you want—back it up with reasons! Find facts or examples that help explain why your point makes sense. Help them gather evidence to support their position.
Example: For the bedtime argument, you could say, “Studies show that kids who are a little older, like me, can stay up later and still get enough sleep if they manage their time well.”
Consider Counterarguments
Encourage your children to consider what someone else might say about their argument and be ready to respond to it. This shows that they’ve considered both sides.
Example: “I know you might think I’ll be too tired for school if I stay up later, but I’ve been waking up easily for a week now, and I’m not sleepy during class.” Model for your children how to address a counterargument.
Structure Your Argument Clearly
Make sure your children learn that an effective argument has a beginning, middle, and end. This will make it easy for them to follow and understand.
Example:
Introduction: “I think I should go to bed later because I’ve shown I can handle it.”
Body: “First, I finish my homework on time. Second, I don’t feel tired in school. Third, I’ve been managing my time well.”
Conclusion: “So, for these reasons, I believe going to bed at 9:00 is a fair idea.”
Use Simple, Clear Language
Teach your children to talk in a way people can easily understand. Don’t use big words or confusing language. Just say what you mean.
Example: Instead of saying, “The situation is rather inequitable,” you can say, “It’s not fair.”
Stay Calm and Confident
When you’re making your argument, don’t get upset or start yelling. Speak in a calm voice, and stand tall.
Example: If your parent interrupts and says, “But you need your rest,” calmly reply, “I understand, but I’ve been getting enough sleep and feel great.”
Teaching Kids to Form Coherent Arguments by Concluding Effectively
When you finish, sum up your main points so it’s clear why your argument makes sense. Ending strongly helps people remember what you said.
Example: “To sum up, I finish my homework, wake up easily, and don’t get tired during the day. That’s why I think I can handle going to bed a little later.” This version uses relatable examples for kids and makes the instructions easy to follow, helping them understand how to make their point clearly and respectfully.”
Wrapping It Up
Ultimately, teaching our children how to form coherent arguments isn’t just about winning debates—it’s about helping them become thoughtful, confident communicators. As they learn to express their ideas clearly, listen to others, and back up their beliefs with facts, they’ll develop skills that will serve them well in every part of life. Whether they’re navigating friendships, school challenges, or future careers, the ability to communicate respectfully and logically is a powerful tool. By investing in this now, we’re preparing them for a lifetime of meaningful conversations and connections.
Have you ever wondered if your hopes and dreams for your child might be more about you than them? It’s a tough question, isn’t it? As parents, we want the best for our children. We want them to succeed, to be happy, and to reach their full potential. But sometimes, in our desire to guide them, we unintentionally place our expectations on their shoulders. This is why rethinking parental expectations that we have for our children offers possibilities for them to follow their God-given bend without damaging our relationship.
But what happens when those expectations don’t align with who our child truly is?
Today, let’s explore how we can rethink our parental expectations and learn to honor the unique, wonderful individuals our children are created to become. It’s about letting go, embracing the unknown, trusting the Lord, and finding joy in the journey of discovering who they are, not who they think they should be.
Why Parents Often Have Expectations and When Those Need to Shift
Parents, we’ve all been there—we set expectations for our kids because we love them so much and want the best for them. Maybe it’s because we value certain things, like a good education or a stable career, or maybe it’s just because we want to see them succeed and be happy. Sometimes, those expectations come from our experiences, the things we’ve learned, or even the dreams we never fulfilled.
It isn’t always easy to examine why we have certain expectations of our kids. But if we focus too much on molding them into our image, we risk stifling their growth and suppressing the qualities that make them unique. It also takes their Creator out of the picture, which is the opposite of what the Lord has planned for our children.
Impact of Expectations on Children
When we set expectations for our kids, it can really shape how they grow and develop. If our expectations are supportive and match who God made our kids to be—their strengths, interests, and personalities—it can boost their confidence and help them feel good about themselves. But when our expectations are too high or rigid, it can make them feel stressed, anxious, or even like they’re not good enough. That’s why it’s so important to find a balance. By being flexible and really listening to who our children are, we can help them grow into confident, resilient individuals ready to face whatever comes their way.
Learning to Honor Your Child’s Unique Nature
Honoring a child’s unique nature means recognizing and appreciating the individuality that each child brings into the world. It’s about seeing beyond the surface, beyond what we might expect or want for them, and truly understanding who they are—what makes them tick, what lights them up, and what makes them feel understood and loved.
When we honor our child’s unique nature, we say, “I see you. I value you for who you are, not for who I think you should be.” It’s about allowing them to explore their interests and passions, even if those paths differ from the ones we might have imagined for them. This approach fosters a sense of security and self-worth in our children. They begin to trust themselves, to believe in their own abilities, and to feel confident in expressing who they truly are.
Reframing Your Expectations
Guiding a child’s path is like being a supportive coach on the sidelines while controlling it, which is more like trying to direct every play in the game. When we guide our children, we’re there to offer advice, share our experiences, and help them navigate choices, but we also give them the freedom to explore, make their own decisions, and learn from their mistakes. It’s about trusting them to find their way, even if it’s different from the path we might have chosen.
On the other hand, controlling a child’s path means trying to dictate every step they take, deciding what they should do, who they should be, and how they should live their lives. It often comes from a place of love and wanting the best for them, but it can feel stifling to a child. It can prevent them from developing their own sense of identity and confidence in their abilities, and if we aren’t careful, it can also keep them from seeking God’s direction for their life.
Think of it this way: guiding is like giving your child a map and teaching them how to read it, while controlling is like holding the map yourself and telling them exactly where to go. Guiding helps them learn, grow, and become independent, while controlling can lead to resistance, frustration, and even a lack of self-confidence. It’s all about finding that balance between offering support and allowing them to be who they are meant to be.
How to Rethink Parental Expectations
Setting expectations that align with a child’s capabilities and interests starts with really getting to know your child—who they are, what they love, and what they’re good at. Here’s how you can do it in a simple, practical way:
Observe and Listen
Pay attention to what your child naturally enjoys doing and where they excel. Notice the activities that make them light up and lose track of time. Listening to their interests and passions is key.
Open Conversations
Talk with your child about their goals, interests, and what they find challenging or exciting. Ask them what they enjoy and what they’d like to try. These conversations can help you understand their dreams and fears, making setting expectations that match their abilities and desires easier.
Set Realistic Goals
Based on what you observe and the conversations you have, set goals that are challenging yet achievable. If your child loves writing but struggles with grammar, encourage them to write stories while gradually improving their grammar skills. The idea is to build on their strengths while gently supporting them in areas where they need growth.
Be Flexible and Discerning
Understand that interests and capabilities can change over time. What your child loves today might not be what they love tomorrow. Be open to adjusting expectations as your child grows and explores new things. It’s okay for goals to shift as your child discovers more about themselves.
Celebrate Effort and Progess, Not Just Outcomes
Focus on your child’s effort rather than just the end result. Praise them for trying hard, learning from mistakes, and showing perseverance. This approach encourages a growth mindset and helps them feel confident in taking on new challenges.
By setting expectations that are in line with who your child truly is, you’re helping them grow in a way that feels natural and empowering. You’re not just guiding them; you’re partnering with them in their journey to becoming their best selves.
Encourage Social Connections
Remind your child that getting involved on campus can help them feel more at home. Joining a club, playing intramural sports, and participating in a study group can be great ways to meet new friends and build a support system. We are created for community and relationships, and getting involved is an excellent way to ease homesickness.
Wrapping It Up
Honoring a child’s unique nature creates a supportive environment where they feel free to be themselves. We give them the room to fail, succeed, grow, and learn in their own ways.
This approach not only helps build a stronger, more authentic relationship between you and your child but also helps raise confident children who can listen to the Lord’s leading. And isn’t that what we all want for our children?
When teens stop liking their parents, it hurts. Do you know what I mean? Have you ever looked into your teenager’s eyes and felt like a stranger? As a mom, nothing stings quite like realizing that the child who once clung to you now seems to tolerate your presence barely.
It’s a heartbreaking shift that leaves many of us feeling lost, questioning our worth, and wondering where we went wrong. But take heart—you are not alone in this struggle. While it may feel like the bond you once had is slipping away, there is hope and a path forward to healing and understanding.
When your teenager seems to push you away or act like they don’t like you, it’s easy to feel hurt and react out of frustration or fear. However, there are some key things you should avoid doing during these challenging times to prevent further damage to the relationship. Here are five actions to steer clear of that can help keep the door open for healing and connection, even when it feels like your teen is shutting you out.
What To Do When Teens Stop Liking Their Parents
Acknowledge the Hurt
Acknowledge the deep emotional pain and confusion that come when a child who was once so close becomes distant. Although this phase may feel overwhelming and never-ending, it’s important to remember that it’s just that—a phase. With patience, understanding, and a steady hand, you and your teenager can navigate this season and emerge with a stronger, more resilient bond.
It’s okay to feel down, but you can’t stay down. God is in control and continues to work all things out for His good and His glory.
What You Need To Know?
Understanding the Teenage Mindset
Humanizing the Pain: A Mom’s Perspective
Practical Steps to Take
Finding Support
Holding on to Hope
Understand A Teens Mindset
To make it through these tough moments, it helps to step into your teen’s shoes and understand what they’re really going through. The teenage years are a rollercoaster of emotions, independence, and self-discovery. By understanding their mindset, you can approach them with more empathy and patience, helping to keep your connection strong, even when things feel rough.
Hormonal and Developmental Changes: Hormone changes and brain development can affect a teenager’s mood and behavior. The hard part for parents is that many teens don’t fully understand what is happening to their bodies, which makes communication much more difficult.
Desire for Independence: As teens try to establish their independence, they may push away from their parents as a part of this process. We want our kids to gain independence so they can handle adult life, so being able to observe what is happening will help you.
The Role of Peer Influence: Peer relationships can become more important, often overshadowing family relationships. We must discern how influential friends are on our child and help them become strong and confident in who God made them to be.
Romans 12:18 – “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
Humanizing the Pain: A Mom’s Perspective
A NormalExperience: I want to remind you that feeling hurt is normal and that you are not alone in this experience.
The Power of Vulnerability: Acknowledge your feelings and possibly even share them with their teenager calmly, non-confrontationally.
Psalm 147:3 – “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
Practical Steps to Take
Stay Consistent in Love and Support: Continue to show love, even when it feels unreciprocated.
Create Open Lines of Communication: Keep communication open by actively listening, not interrupting, and validating feelings.
Respect Their Space and Independence: Giving teens the space they crave while being present and available shows your teen respect and understanding.
Finding Support
Lean on Your Community: Don’t be afraid to contact friends, family, or support groups who understand what you’re going through.
Consider Professional Help: Consider seeking help from a counselor or therapist for your teen or yourself. Sometimes, getting outside help gives you insights into what can be done to make the situation less stressful.
Holding on to Hope
We have to remember to have hope. God is at work. Your child is not going to feel this way forever. Even during the toughest times with their teenager, there’s always a reason to stay resilient and patient.
The Power of Time: Like many phases, this too shall pass. Teens grow up, mature, and often return to a closer relationship with their parents. 🙂
Encouragement to Persevere: I want to encourage you to continue your unwavering love and patience, which can make a profound difference.
Malachi 4:6 – “And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers; lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction.”
Scripture for Strained Relationships
Ephesians 6:4 – “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
This verse highlights the importance of nurturing and guiding children without causing unnecessary conflict or resentment.
Colossians 3:21 – “Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.”
Encourages parents to avoid actions or words that may lead to bitterness or discouragement in their children.
Proverbs 22:6 – “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
It suggests that a strong foundation, even if met with resistance during the teenage years, will have lasting effects.
Scripture For Healing and Reconciliation
Healing and reconciliation offer hope that strength will be renewed through patience and reliance on God.
Isaiah 40:31 – “But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”
Corinthians 5:18-19 – “All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation.”
James 5:16 – “Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”
Wrapping It Up
Watching your teenager pull away can be one of the most heartbreaking experiences as a parent. It’s tough—there’s no sugarcoating that. But take heart: you’re not alone in this journey, and it doesn’t mean you’re losing them forever.
With the Lord, patience, empathy, and a lot of love, this difficult season can be a time of growth, so hang in there—your bond is stronger than you think. God’s got you and will lead you through this season of parenting.
Did you know up to 70% of college students experience homesickness during their first few months of school? It’s true. Today, we are focusing on Helping Homesick College Kids find their way without bringing them home.
Are you a parent with a child who’s just started college—or maybe you’re about to send them off? First off, this is such a big moment, not just for your child but for you, too. The house feels a little quieter, and your heart likely feels all sorts of emotions. And so is your child. So, when we get a call from our distraught college kid asking to come home, we aren’t always sure what to do. Today, I’ll share some practical tips and a few personal stories and hopefully give you the reassurance that everything you’re child is feeling is completely normal.
It’s common for college students to feel homesick, especially in the first few weeks of school. And many kids are so overwhelmed they want to quit school and come back home. And as parents, it can tug at our hearts. But, before we say yes, there are some ways we can help them find their way without coming home.
Helping Homesick College Kids Adjust to College Life
Understanding What is Really Going On
Why did your child go from being excited to wanting to go home? While there are many reasons, the most common ones are fear of the unknown, nervousness, and anxiety. They left what was familiar and comfortable. They don’t know anyone, they don’t know their way around, and they don’t know their professors. The newness of everything can overwhelm some kids, causing them to think they’ve made a big mistake.
Rather than immediately letting them come home, parents can gently encourage their child to stick it out for a bit longer, like until the end of the first semester. This will help them gain confidence in their ability to handle new situations and grow into independence.
What Can YOU Do?
Support Independence:
Balance Support with Understanding
Create a Timeline
Five Ways to Help College Kids FInd Their Way
Encourage your child to maintain strong connections with family and friends back home by scheduling regular video calls or sending thoughtful messages. These moments of connection can provide comfort and remind them that they have a support system rooting for them, no matter how far away they are.
Additionally, consider sending care packages filled with their favorite snacks, photos, or small items that remind them of home. These little gestures can bring a sense of familiarity and warmth, helping to ease the feelings of homesickness and reinforcing the bond they have with their loved ones.
Establish a Comforting Routine
Encourage your child to build a daily routine that feels comforting and familiar, something that can anchor them in this new chapter of their life. It might be as simple as starting their day with a cup of coffee just like they did at home, taking a few minutes to enjoy a hobby that brings them joy, or ending the day by watching a favorite show or reading a book. These small, everyday rituals can create a sense of stability and make the college experience feel a little less overwhelming, helping them find their footing in a new environment.
Stay Connect to Home
Encourage your child to maintain strong connections with family and friends back home by scheduling regular video calls or sending thoughtful messages. These moments of connection can provide comfort and remind them that they have a support system rooting for them, no matter how far away they are.
Additionally, consider sending care packages filled with their favorite snacks, photos, or small items that remind them of home. These little gestures can bring a sense of familiarity and warmth, helping to ease the feelings of homesickness and reinforcing the bond they have with their loved ones.
Encourage Social Connections
Remind your child that getting involved on campus can help them feel more at home. Joining a club, playing intramural sports, and participating in a study group can be a great way to meet new friends and build a support system. We are created for community and relationships and getting involved is an excellent way to do ease homesickness.
Find Local Support
If your child is struggling to find their way, encourage them to ask for help and find a church they can plugged into. Asking for help might make your child feel uncomfortable, but if you remind them that colleges pay people to advise and help kids just like your child, they will make them feel less self-conscious about asking for help.
By all means, try not to make your child feel like something is wrong with them. Keep it matter-of-fact. I would even suggest you do a little research and send your child some links or phone numbers to make it easier for your child to contact others.
Pracitical Self-care
College kids tend to forget about getting enough sleep, eating right, managing time, and exercising. We can gently remind them how necessary self-care is by suggesting simple mindfulness practices, like taking deep breaths or writing in a journal when they’re feeling overwhelmed. Doing some physical activity, like going for a walk or doing a workout, can also help them release stress and boost their mood. This will help them keep the proper perspective of this season of life.
Wrapping It Up
Don’t forget your child is moving towards something new, which isn’t always easy. As much as we might want to swoop in and rescue them, we must pray about what is best for our child.
Pray before saying yes to moving back. Pray about how much you help them and how you help them.
The emotional journey parents and college students face when dealing with homesickness during the first few months away from home is real, and common. I pray God gives you wisdom as you help your young adult navigate this season of change well.
In today’s increasingly connected world, it’s nearly impossible to shield our children from political discourse. As parents, our role is to equip our kids with the tools to navigate Political Conversations with Kids Part 2 respectfully and confidently. In Part 1 of our series, we explored why political conversations matter and how to prepare your child for these discussions. In this second part, I’ll share how to handle political conversations with friends, navigate family gatherings, and encourage ongoing political conversations with your kids in the safety of your home.
Handling Political Conversations with Friends
Respect and Understanding
When it comes to politics, our kids are going to encounter different opinions, especially among their friends. It’s so important for them to learn that while we don’t always have to agree with others, we do need to respect their viewpoints. Encourage your child to listen first and think before responding. This simple approach can make all the difference in keeping conversations friendly and open. Remind them that it’s perfectly okay to say, “I see your point, but I think differently,” rather than brushing off someone else’s opinion. By teaching respect and understanding, we’re helping them build strong, compassionate relationships—even when opinions differ.
Peer Pressure
We all know how impact peer pressure can be, especially when politics enter the mix. We simply must prepare our kids for those moments when they might feel the urge to go along with their friends just to fit in.
When we talk about ways kids can stand firm in their beliefs while still being kind and respectful. Encourage them to use phrases like, “I think we just see this differently, and that’s okay,” to gracefully handle these situations. By building their confidence, we empower them to stay true to themselves, even when peer pressure is at its peak.
Real Life Political Conversations with Your Kids
To make these lessons stick, share a story from your own life or someone you know who successfully navigated a political conversation with a friend.
Real-life examples are powerful—they make the lessons more relatable and show our kids that it’s possible to stand firm in your beliefs while keeping your friendships intact.
Navigating Family Gatherings
Encouraging children to ask questions and think critically about political issues is vital. Teach them to evaluate information, consider different perspectives, and form their own opinions. Provide examples of questions they can ask, such as “Why do people have different opinions on this issue?” or “How does this law affect our community?” Role-playing scenarios where they practice discussing these questions can build their confidence and understanding.
Setting Boundaries for Political Conversations with Children
Family gatherings can be a mixed bag, especially when politics come up. It’s important to talk with your child about setting boundaries for these discussions. You might agree as a family to steer clear of politics during meals or certain family events. Setting these boundaries ahead of time can prevent uncomfortable situations and help everyone enjoy their time together. After all, gatherings should be about connection and fun, not about heated debates.
Dealing with Heated Discussions
Even with boundaries in place, sometimes political conversations can get a little heated. Teach your child how to stay calm and collected if things start to escalate. Practicing how to respond to intense comments can be incredibly helpful. Let them know it’s okay to step away from a conversation if it becomes too much. Simple phrases like, “Let’s agree to disagree,” or “Maybe we should take a break from this topic,” can be lifesavers in diffusing tension and keeping the peace.
Encouraging Ongoing Conversations
One of the best things we can do as parents is create a safe space at home and stay informed about these conversations. Let your child know that your home is a judgment-free zone where they can share their thoughts and questions without fear of being judged. This kind of environment encourages them to explore their ideas and engage in meaningful, thoughtful discussions.
Wrapping it Up
Talking about politics with our kids is an ongoing conversation that requires patience, understanding, and a commitment to open dialogue. By teaching them how to handle political discussions with friends, set boundaries during family gatherings, and keep the conversation going at home, we’re helping them grow into thoughtful, informed, and respectful individuals. Remember, these conversations aren’t just about politics—they’re about preparing our kids to navigate the complexities of the world with confidence and care.
Engaging in political conversations with kids can seem daunting, but it’s an important part of raising informed, thoughtful children. Guiding your kids in political discussions helps them understand the world around them and prepares them for their future roles as active citizens. In this first part of our series, I’ll explain why helping our children navigate political conversations matters and how to prepare your child for these important discussions.
In our fast-paced world, our kids are constantly seeing and hearing political news. As parents, it’s so important for us to help them understand what’s going on around them. By talking about politics in the home, we’re not just teaching them about their rights and responsibilities as citizens; we’re also helping them develop critical thinking skills. These skills are essential for making wise decisions throughout their lives. For example, when we explain why voting matters and how civic participation works, we’re setting the stage for them to become informed and engaged adults.
I remember one family dinner when Tom and I were discussing who we were going to vote for in an upcoming election. My ten-year-old, with that curious look in his eyes, asked, “Why is voting so important?” It was one of those moments where I realized the impact of our everyday conversations. We talked about how every vote helps choose leaders who make decisions affecting our community, like funding for schools and maintaining parks. This simple discussion sparked his curiosity about how things work and made him feel more confident and informed. I was delighted to see his interest grow right before my eyes. This was the beginning of many political conversations I had with my kids.
Preparing Your Children for Political Conversations
Age-Appropriate Political Conversations
When discussing politics with children, it’s essential to tailor the conversation to their age. Younger children need simple explanations, while older kids can handle more complex discussions. For instance, explaining voting to a six-year-old might involve comparing it to choosing a favorite ice cream flavor, whereas, with teenagers, you can explain the mechanics of elections and the impact of policies on their lives.
How to Simplify Complex Topics for Younger Kids
One of the biggest challenges in discussing politics with young children is simplifying complex topics. Breaking down information into smaller, understandable pieces can make a big difference. Use analogies and examples from their daily lives to explain difficult concepts. For example, you can describe taxes as a piggy bank where everyone puts in money to help pay for things everyone uses, like parks and schools. Visual aids like drawings and charts can also be incredibly helpful in making these ideas more tangible.
Political Conversations Teach Kids Critical Thinking
Encouraging children to ask questions and think critically about political issues is vital. Teach them to evaluate information, consider different perspectives, and form their own opinions. Provide examples of questions they can ask, such as “Why do people have different opinions on this issue?” or “How does this law affect our community?” Role-playing scenarios where they practice discussing these questions can build their confidence and understanding.
Role-Playing Scenarios
Practice makes perfect, and role-playing political conversations can be a fun and educational activity. Create scenarios where your child can practice discussing political topics respectfully and thoughtfully. This helps them prepare for real-life conversations and teaches them how to handle disagreements constructively.
Wrapping it Up
Engaging children in political conversations is a rewarding endeavor that prepares them for future civic engagement. By discussing why these conversations matter and how to approach them appropriately, we lay the groundwork for informed, responsible citizens. Stay tuned for Part 2, where we’ll delve into how children can handle political conversations with friends and family. Remember, these discussions are not just about understanding politics; they’re about fostering empathy, critical thinking, and active participation in our communities.
