Is Your Parenting Broken or Just Needs Adjusting?

Parenting: it’s equal parts heartwarming and hair-pulling, isn’t it? One moment, you’re basking in the glow of your child’s sweet hug, and the next, you’re wondering if you’ve completely lost your touch because nothing—absolutely nothing—seems to work. Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “Is my parenting broken, or does it just need a little tune-up?” If so, you’re not alone. Most parents question their parenting approach.

There is a way to tell the difference and, more importantly, what to do about it. Spoiler alert: it’s not about being perfect; it’s about showing up and growing alongside your child.

How do you know if the problem is a complete breakdown or just a case of needing some minor adjustments? Let’s start by exploring the signs that your parenting approach might actually be broken.

How to Recognize If Your Parenting Approach Is Working Or Not

Parenting isn’t one-size-fits-all, and what works in one season might not work in another. But when something is truly broken, it becomes clear that continuing the same approach is causing harm or preventing progress.

Signs that your parenting approach might be broken:

• Emotional Disconnect: Your child seems distant or unresponsive to your efforts to connect.
• Constant Conflict: Every interaction feels like a battle, leaving both you and your child frustrated.
• Negative Impact: The current method creates stress, anxiety, or harm for you, your child, or your relationship.
• No Progress Despite Effort: You’ve tried different strategies, but nothing seems to improve the situation.

If these signs resonate with you, it may be time to step back and consider letting go of what isn’t working.

When Your Parenting Approach Is Not Broken—Just Not Working Properly

On the other hand, not every struggle means your parenting style is fundamentally flawed. Sometimes, it’s about adjusting to fit your child’s unique needs or the changing dynamics of your family.

Signs it’s just not working correctly:

• Partial Success: You see small victories and areas where things could improve.
• Changing Needs: Your child’s age, personality, or life circumstances have shifted, and your approach hasn’t kept up.
• Feedback from Your Child: They express frustration or disengagement, but there’s still a foundation of trust.

The foundation is still solid in these cases—you just need a new perspective or small tweaks.

Practical Steps to Move Forward with Confidence

Evaluate the Situation with Honesty

Ask yourself:

• Is this approach aligned with my goals as a parent?
• Does it bring peace and progress to our home, or does it create unnecessary tension?
• Sometimes, the hardest part is admitting that something isn’t working and being willing to change.

Sometimes, the hardest part is acknowledging that something isn’t working and being willing to change.

Seek Insights and Wisdom

Talk to your child (in an age-appropriate way) about what’s not working. Their perspective can reveal blind spots you hadn’t considered. Also, seek counsel from trusted mentors, friends, or parenting resources to gain fresh ideas.

Make Small Adjustments Before Letting Go

If it’s not broken, don’t toss it out. Instead, consider small changes:

• Simplify Expectations: Are you asking too much of yourself or your child?
• Adjust Your Communication: Would a gentler or more direct approach help?
• Incorporate Flexibility: Allow room for trial and error as you adjust your methods.
• Even small shifts can yield big results over time..

Know When To Let Go

If the situation is clearly broken and causing harm, it’s okay to let go. Release the guilt and remember: letting go doesn’t mean failure—it means making space for something better. You can replace old habits that stop working. I know it takes courage to pivot, sometimes because we are afraid, but don’t let fear dictate your parenting. Pray. Talk to your spouse. Trust the Lord with Your child.

Celebrate the courage it takes to pivot, knowing it’s an investment in your child’s future.