The Heart of Caregiving is found in the quiet, unseen moments — the late nights, the tired mornings, and the endless cycle of giving without expecting anything in return. Jess Ronne joins me today for an honest conversation on caregiving.
Caregiving is not just about meeting physical needs; it’s about pouring love, patience, and strength into someone else’s life, even when your cup feels empty.
Amid exhaustion and uncertainty, a quiet strength comes from knowing you are not alone. This is the heart of caregiving — a place where grit and grace meet, sustaining you through even the hardest days.
“The heart of caregiving is found in the quiet, unseen moments — the late nights, the tired mornings, and the endless cycle of giving without expecting anything in return. I know this because I’ve been there. Caring for my mom taught me that true strength isn’t loud; it’s found in the quiet acts of love and patience when no one is watching.” Connie Albers
The Heart of Caregiving
The heart of caregiving is found in the quiet, unseen moments — the late nights, the tired mornings, and the endless cycle of giving without expecting anything in return. I know this because I’ve been there. Caring for my mom taught me that true strength isn’t loud; it’s found in the quiet acts of love and patience when no one is watching. It’s in the middle-of-the-night wake-ups, the doctor’s appointments, the hard conversations, and the moments when you wonder if you have anything left to give. Caregiving is hard, holy work — and it changes you in ways you never expected.
The Challenges of Caregiving
Caregiving stretches you in every possible way — physically, emotionally, and mentally. There’s the exhaustion that comes from sleepless nights and long days. You pour out everything you have to meet someone else’s needs, often putting your own aside. And it’s not just the physical toll — it’s the emotional weight too.
It’s hard watching someone you love struggle. You wish you could fix it, make it better, take away the pain — but you can’t. The constant decision-making can be overwhelming. Did I do the right thing? Should I have spoken up more at that appointment? Am I doing enough? These thoughts can weigh you down, leaving you feeling like you’re never quite enough.
But here’s the truth: you are enough. Just showing up matters. Even when you’re tired and don’t have all the answers, being there is an act of love and courage.
Finding Strength in Grit
Caregiving requires grit — that daily resolve to keep going even when it’s hard. You show up, not because it’s easy, but because you love the person in front of you.
Grit is getting out of bed when you’d rather stay under the covers. It’s figuring out complicated medical instructions and staying calm when everything feels like it’s falling apart. It’s knowing that you might not see the rewards of your labor — but choosing to serve anyway.
I remember days when I felt utterly depleted — emotionally and physically. But somehow, I’d find the strength to keep going. That’s the power of grit. It’s not glamorous; it’s steady and quiet. And it matters.
Finding Peace in Grace
But grit alone isn’t enough. That’s where grace comes in. Grace is what carries you when you’re too tired to stand.
Grace means allowing yourself to be human. You don’t have to be perfect to be a good caregiver. You can get frustrated and feel exhausted and still be doing enough. Grace is knowing that it’s okay to take a break—that rest isn’t failure; it’s necessary.
It’s also about offering grace to the person you’re caring for. They might not always express gratitude. They might lash out because they’re hurting. Grace reminds you that they’re struggling too. And it helps you respond with patience instead of resentment.
Grace is forgiving yourself when you don’t get it right. It’s recognizing that love is still present even on the hard days.
The Scrared Calling of Caregiving
Caregiving is hard — but it’s also sacred. There’s something profoundly beautiful about loving someone through their hardest moments.
It’s easy to think of caregiving as a chore or an obligation. But it’s more than that. It’s an act of devotion. Every meal prepared, every hand held, every encouraging word — these are reflections of God’s love. Even when you feel unseen, God sees you.
You might not hear “thank you” as often as you’d like, but your work matters. You are standing in the gap for someone who needs you. That’s sacred.
When I was caring for my mom, there were moments when I felt invisible — like no one saw the hard work I was doing. But God saw. And He gave me strength when I had nothing left. That’s the gift of caregiving — you’re not doing it alone.
Practical Encouragment for Caregivers
I know firsthand how easy it is to neglect yourself when you’re focused on someone else’s needs. But you can’t give from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish — it’s necessary.
Prioritize Rest. Even if you can only grab 10 mins. of quiet, take it. Your body and mind need to reset.
Set Realistic Goals. You won’t get it right all the time, and that’s okay.
Ask for Help. People might not know you need anything, so be willing to ask. Lean on your community, family, and even professional support.
Conclusion: The Heart of Caregiving
The heart of caregiving is found in the tension between grit and grace — showing up when it’s hard and trusting that you are not alone. Caregiving will stretch you, challenge you, and sometimes break your heart — but it will also grow you in ways you never imagined.
If you’re in the middle of caregiving right now, I want you to know this: You are doing holy work. You are seen. You are enough. And you are not alone.
References, Related Shows, and Links
Jess Ronne is no stranger to caregiving. As the eldest of eleven siblings, Jess was responsible for their care during her upbringing. Her commitment to caregiving continued after she married and received the medical news that her son Luca would be born with significant disabilities requiring lifelong care.
She then faced the devastating news that her thirty-one-year-old husband was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer, leaving her to raise four children alone. Her life took another remarkable turn when she met Ryan, a widower with three children. They blended two families and welcomed another child together.
Jess leads the Lucas Project, a nonprofit outreach organization committed to supporting individuals with special needs. Alongside her husband, Jess established Hope Farm, a residential facility that assists the needs of her son and other young adults with disabilities.
Finding Hope Beyond Politics -These words may speak differently to each of us, especially after an election season. For some, there’s joy and optimism in seeing their candidates win; for others, disappointment and maybe even fear over what’s ahead. But in moments like these, we can anchor ourselves in the Lord, who’s not swayed by political outcomes. Let’s think about how we can look beyond politics to find peace, purpose, and unity together, no matter where we stand.
Today, I will walk you through three simple, practical steps to comfort your heart, find peace, and focus on what truly matters. Let’s explore these practical steps to help you move from feeling swamped to feeling steady and equipped for whatever life brings.
After an election, emotions can range from excitement to disappointment. In this episode, Finding Hope Beyond Politics, we explore how to find lasting peace and purpose beyond the political landscape. Whether you’re celebrating or feeling uncertain, join us as I discuss unity, gratitude, and hope that endures in every season.
The Source of True Hope
It’s easy to feel like our sense of stability depends on the political landscape, but true hope doesn’t rest on any government or leader. In times of change, Psalm 46:1-2 reminds us, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear…” This scripture grounds us, reminding us that our strength comes from a place that isn’t shaken by elections or policies. When we look beyond politics, we find a hope that stands firm, even when circumstances don’t go our way.
Balancing Victory and Disappointment
After an election, many feel a deep sense of victory, while others experience a real sense of loss. For those celebrating, we need that joy to propel us to build on the positive change you envision with humility and compassion. And for those who feel defeated, know that it’s normal to feel this way. Our emotions reflect the depth of our convictions, and it’s okay to feel both disappointed and hopeful. This blend of feelings allows us to grow stronger and more resilient as we press forward, knowing our identity is rooted in something greater than any one moment.
Building Unity in a Divided World
We’re at our best when we focus on what brings us together. Romans 12:18 offers wisdom: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” This verse invites us to find common ground and to choose kindness, even when it’s hard. Political differences are real, but so is the love we can extend to one another. By focusing on unity, we choose to look beyond the labels and disagreements to see each other as people with shared hopes and dreams.
Moving Forward with Purpose and Love
Election results don’t define the path ahead; rather, each of us has the opportunity to shape the future with our actions and intentions. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” This verse reminds us that there is purpose and meaning in the road ahead, regardless of the political climate. Embrace this time as an opportunity to live out your values in tangible ways, making a difference where it matters most—in your family, community, and world.
The Power of Gratitude and Prayer
In seasons of change, gratitude can bring peace and perspective. Whether we feel victorious or defeated, we can all pause to appreciate the blessings we have. Gratitude doesn’t erase our challenges but reminds us of the goodness that remains steady in our lives. Taking time for prayer also offers a way to refocus and find peace beyond what’s happening around us. As we lift our thoughts to God, we open our hearts to wisdom, comfort, and a renewed sense of hope.
Wrapping It Up: Finding Hope Beyond Politics
When we look beyond politics, we find steady hope, enduring peace, and a community that can thrive together. Our beliefs, values, and love for one another truly hold us together. So, as we move forward, let’s choose to be a source of unity and kindness in the lives around us, anchored in the faith that our future is bright, no matter the political landscape.
Have you ever wondered if your hopes and dreams for your child might be more about you than them? It’s a tough question, isn’t it? As parents, we want the best for our children. We want them to succeed, to be happy, and to reach their full potential. But sometimes, in our desire to guide them, we unintentionally place our expectations on their shoulders. This is why rethinking parental expectations that we have for our children offers possibilities for them to follow their God-given bend without damaging our relationship.
But what happens when those expectations don’t align with who our child truly is?
Today, let’s explore how we can rethink our parental expectations and learn to honor the unique, wonderful individuals our children are created to become. It’s about letting go, embracing the unknown, trusting the Lord, and finding joy in the journey of discovering who they are, not who they think they should be.
Why Parents Often Have Expectations and When Those Need to Shift
Parents, we’ve all been there—we set expectations for our kids because we love them so much and want the best for them. Maybe it’s because we value certain things, like a good education or a stable career, or maybe it’s just because we want to see them succeed and be happy. Sometimes, those expectations come from our experiences, the things we’ve learned, or even the dreams we never fulfilled.
It isn’t always easy to examine why we have certain expectations of our kids. But if we focus too much on molding them into our image, we risk stifling their growth and suppressing the qualities that make them unique. It also takes their Creator out of the picture, which is the opposite of what the Lord has planned for our children.
Impact of Expectations on Children
When we set expectations for our kids, it can really shape how they grow and develop. If our expectations are supportive and match who God made our kids to be—their strengths, interests, and personalities—it can boost their confidence and help them feel good about themselves. But when our expectations are too high or rigid, it can make them feel stressed, anxious, or even like they’re not good enough. That’s why it’s so important to find a balance. By being flexible and really listening to who our children are, we can help them grow into confident, resilient individuals ready to face whatever comes their way.
Learning to Honor Your Child’s Unique Nature
Honoring a child’s unique nature means recognizing and appreciating the individuality that each child brings into the world. It’s about seeing beyond the surface, beyond what we might expect or want for them, and truly understanding who they are—what makes them tick, what lights them up, and what makes them feel understood and loved.
When we honor our child’s unique nature, we say, “I see you. I value you for who you are, not for who I think you should be.” It’s about allowing them to explore their interests and passions, even if those paths differ from the ones we might have imagined for them. This approach fosters a sense of security and self-worth in our children. They begin to trust themselves, to believe in their own abilities, and to feel confident in expressing who they truly are.
Reframing Your Expectations
Guiding a child’s path is like being a supportive coach on the sidelines while controlling it, which is more like trying to direct every play in the game. When we guide our children, we’re there to offer advice, share our experiences, and help them navigate choices, but we also give them the freedom to explore, make their own decisions, and learn from their mistakes. It’s about trusting them to find their way, even if it’s different from the path we might have chosen.
On the other hand, controlling a child’s path means trying to dictate every step they take, deciding what they should do, who they should be, and how they should live their lives. It often comes from a place of love and wanting the best for them, but it can feel stifling to a child. It can prevent them from developing their own sense of identity and confidence in their abilities, and if we aren’t careful, it can also keep them from seeking God’s direction for their life.
Think of it this way: guiding is like giving your child a map and teaching them how to read it, while controlling is like holding the map yourself and telling them exactly where to go. Guiding helps them learn, grow, and become independent, while controlling can lead to resistance, frustration, and even a lack of self-confidence. It’s all about finding that balance between offering support and allowing them to be who they are meant to be.
How to Rethink Parental Expectations
Setting expectations that align with a child’s capabilities and interests starts with really getting to know your child—who they are, what they love, and what they’re good at. Here’s how you can do it in a simple, practical way:
Observe and Listen
Pay attention to what your child naturally enjoys doing and where they excel. Notice the activities that make them light up and lose track of time. Listening to their interests and passions is key.
Open Conversations
Talk with your child about their goals, interests, and what they find challenging or exciting. Ask them what they enjoy and what they’d like to try. These conversations can help you understand their dreams and fears, making setting expectations that match their abilities and desires easier.
Set Realistic Goals
Based on what you observe and the conversations you have, set goals that are challenging yet achievable. If your child loves writing but struggles with grammar, encourage them to write stories while gradually improving their grammar skills. The idea is to build on their strengths while gently supporting them in areas where they need growth.
Be Flexible and Discerning
Understand that interests and capabilities can change over time. What your child loves today might not be what they love tomorrow. Be open to adjusting expectations as your child grows and explores new things. It’s okay for goals to shift as your child discovers more about themselves.
Celebrate Effort and Progess, Not Just Outcomes
Focus on your child’s effort rather than just the end result. Praise them for trying hard, learning from mistakes, and showing perseverance. This approach encourages a growth mindset and helps them feel confident in taking on new challenges.
By setting expectations that are in line with who your child truly is, you’re helping them grow in a way that feels natural and empowering. You’re not just guiding them; you’re partnering with them in their journey to becoming their best selves.
Encourage Social Connections
Remind your child that getting involved on campus can help them feel more at home. Joining a club, playing intramural sports, and participating in a study group can be great ways to meet new friends and build a support system. We are created for community and relationships, and getting involved is an excellent way to ease homesickness.
Wrapping It Up
Honoring a child’s unique nature creates a supportive environment where they feel free to be themselves. We give them the room to fail, succeed, grow, and learn in their own ways.
This approach not only helps build a stronger, more authentic relationship between you and your child but also helps raise confident children who can listen to the Lord’s leading. And isn’t that what we all want for our children?
Do you ever feel like you don’t have enough faith to do what God asks you to do? Or that God isn’t big enough to help you? If you answered yes to either question, you’re not alone. Even Abraham and Noah also struggled when God gave them instructions!
We need to remember that it’s not about having faith in ourselves. God isn’t interested in the amount of faith we have when we start, but it is the faith we place in God that matters. Faith in ourselves doesn’t impress the Lord.
Throughout scripture, God commends people who obeyed Him despite their lack of faith. We start our race, and as we obey, our faith in God grows.
Our faith is a response to God’s leading, not how much faith we can muster up before we start. God gives us the grace to grow when our faith feels small. So it’s time to stop focusing on “me” and start focusing on God. It’s not about having faith in faith, but faith in God.
We can’t allow our false to stand in the way of God using us. God remembers our faithfulness, not our flaws. He initiates, we respond. As he leads, our faith story unfolds. Just like in the days of Noah, it won’t always be easy to follow the Lord. Our faith will fail us, but our God never will.
Big God
What would your relationship with God be like if you believe Jesus:
wants the pleasure of your company?
cares more about you than your performance?
designed spiritual growth to be an ongoing journey, not an instant change
delights in who you are becoming and isn’t put off by your weakness?
Don’t allow your lack of faith to hinder you from doing what you know you are being called to do. Debbie’s book Little Faith, Big God helps you put off your superhero cape for a dynamic relationship with a God.
Remember, God chose to use Abraham, Noah, and Jacob despite their flaws. They were picked before they were born. So are you, my friend. What is God asking you to do?
God’s grace is amazing, and when we live in response to His grace, our faith grows.
Points to Ponder:
Are you living what you believe?
What is God taking you through now?
Are you living in a way that others see the Lord at work in your life?
Little Faith, Big God reminds us not to focus on the size of our faith but to keep our eyes on the size of our God. Tune out the noise in the world.
About Debbie W. Wilson
Drawing from her personal walk with Christ, 24 years as a Christian counselor, and decades as a Bible teacher, Debbie W. Wilson helps people—especially overachievers—give themselves a break and live in God’s grace so they can enjoy fruitful and fulfilling lives.
She is the author of and Little Faith, Big God. She and her husband Larry founded Lighthouse Ministries, a nonprofit ministry offering counseling, life and relationship coaching, and Bible studies. She is an Advanced Writers and Speakers Association certified speaking and writing coach. Her ministry assignments have taken her across the USA and overseas. Debbie enjoys exploring new places, reading a good mystery, eating dark chocolate, and laughing at the antics of her two standard poodles.
