Does overcoming obstacles seem nearly impossible? They sure have for me. But, I’ve learned practical ways to overcome obstacles and find a path to getting unstuck that might help you and your children.
We all encounter obstacles, but not everyone has the tools to turn these challenges into stepping stones. With faith, a positive outlook, and a few actionable steps, you can learn how to overcome obstacles that can keep you stuck. Whether you’re struggling with work, your personal life, or your child is struggling, there’s a way to gain forward movement.
While obstacles are common, learning to overcome them can change your future. Challenges don’t have to defeat us or keep us stuck. That’s why consistent time with the Lord and a community of friends can change that.
We all encounter obstacles, but not everyone has the tools to turn these challenges into stepping stones. That’s why I’m excited to share this episode with you and your family. I want you to learn not only how to get unstuck but also how to run your race with excellence.
Overcoming Obstacles by Identifying and Assessing
We can’t overcome obstacles if we don’t understand the problem. Which is why you have to be honest with yourself.
I like to begin by gathering as much information as possible about the circumstances, feelings, behavior, and thought patterns that are keeping me stuck. You can do this too.
Pray and ask the Lord to give you insights
Ask trusted friends or your family what they have observed about me
Write down why you feel the way you feel
Carefully examine where your thoughts and beliefs are coming from that you are believing about yourself.
The benefits of carefully assessing and identifying why you can’t overcome obstacles using these steps can be eye-opening. Once you or your child has completed these steps, I recommend looking for triggers and patterns that you might not realize are happening.
Understanding Triggers and Patterns
Learning to get beyond struggles that might be holding you back, requires identifying triggers and noticing patterns of thought and behavior.
What specific situation causes you to feel stuck?
What is your emotional reaction?
Do you have recurring thoughts and behaviors that cause you to pause?
By spending time on reflective listening, we can identify triggers and patterns of thought and behavior. The words we think and believe about ourselves are powerful, which is why we must not focus on addressing them.
Overcoming Obstacles Through Reflecting Listening
The purpose of reflective listening is to help one understand any deeply held beliefs about oneself or the world. When you take the time to pay attention to what you think or say, you can start to construct a plan that will move you forward.
I’m not good at ______?
I lack self-confidence.
What if I fail?
Fear of failure
Our underlying beliefs can cause internal frustration and emotional paralysis. The next step in getting unstuck is to identify where our thoughts, beliefs, and patterns are coming from.
Acceptance and Skills Development to Overcome Obstacles
Learning to accept where you are is a pathway to knowing what skills you need to develop to move forward. To do this well, we need to learn practical problem-solving skills to deal with specific situations that might be causing us to get stuck. Here are a few
Tell yourself the truth about a situation. Being honest with yourself is essential to learning.
Remind yourself that no one can make you feel or stay stuck. Others may say or do things that knock you down. They don’t have the power to keep you there.
Pray: Ask the Lord to help you develop problem-solving skills. Trying to get around obstacles on your own makes any situation more difficult. God has a plan for your obstacle; you need to know the plan.
Every new skill requires practice. I encourage you to write down the behavior you need to improve, the thoughts you want to change, and the patterns you want to challenge. Remember this: When God instructs us to lay something down, we are told what to pick up. It is easier to replace old habits with new ones. That takes practice.
Evaluate and Readjust
Throughout your life, you will be faced with many obstacles. For this reason, make it a habit to evaluate and readjust as needed. Consider what is working and change what isn’t. There is freedom in the pivot. Your approach to overcoming obstacles will change as you and your children grow and mature.
My prayer is that you can gain insight into the processes you need and learn effective ways to overcome obstacles so that you can move forward. I encourage you to tailor these tips to your specific needs and circumstances. The goal is to equip yourself with skills and tools that you can use when obstacles present themselves.
Overcoming rejection is possible when we focus on our emotional actions, mental actions, physical actions, and spiritual actions! I don’t like to be rejected. And chances are you don’t either? Honestly, no one likes to be rejected, but overcoming rejection is a part of life that we must learn to do well. Today, we’ll continue our topic on rejection. Last week, we focused on navigating rejection. While navigating rejection is vital to understanding what is happening in your child, overcoming rejection helps us protect the bond during the healing process.
It is possible to overcome the sting of rejection and experience the joy of restoration.
Overcoming rejection can be tough, but there are several action steps you can take to heal emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. Here are a few suggestions to help you move forward and regain your balance:
To mend these breaks, try to understand the source of rejection. This might take several conversations and sincere prayer, but it does help your hurting hearts mend and see relationships restored. It isn’t easy, but it is worth every step.
Emotional Actions to Overcome Rejection
Understanding these manifestations of rejection is the first step in a long journey of healing and restoration. Verbal rejections cut deep, but they often spring from a place of frustration or a child’s need for autonomy. Physical withdrawal and the pursuit of privacy signal a natural progression towards independence, while criticism and embarrassment reflect their budding self-identity and social consciousness.
Allow Yourself to Feel: Acknowledge your emotions without judgment. It’s okay to feel hurt, disappointed, or frustrated after being rejected. Allowing yourself to truly experience these feelings can actually help us process them more naturally.
Express Your Feelings: Talk about what you’re going through with someone you trust. Expressing your feelings can lighten your emotional load and help you gain insights into your personal experience. Sometimes, just hearing yourself talk can help you understand more about what you need to heal.
Seek Professional Help: If your feelings of rejection are overwhelming, consider talking to a pastor or counselor. They can offer professional guidance to help you work through your emotions constructively.
While all forms of rejection are hurtful, learning to stay focused on your relationship goals will help you overcome the rejection with hope and healing.
Mental Actions to Overcome Rejection
I’ll be honest: being rejected by your child is painful regardless of the type of rejection you experience. The path to restoration is paved with open conversations, where listening is just as critical as talking. It involves acknowledging your child’s feelings without dismissing your own, creating a safe space where vulnerability could lead to understanding.
Challenge Negative Thoughts: Pay attention to and challenge any negative thoughts that arise from rejection. Replace thoughts like “I’m not good enough” with “I am good enough, but this wasn’t the right fit for me.”
Focus on Growth: Use the experience as a catalyst for self-improvement. Whether it’s enhancing skills, expanding your knowledge, or simply cultivating a new mindset, focusing on growth can turn rejection into a stepping stone.
Practice Mindfulness: Engage in mindfulness exercises such as prayer or deep breathing techniques. These practices can help center your thoughts and reduce the rumination often associated with rejection.
While practicing emotional and mental steps to overcoming rejection, there are physical actions your can take that will help you navigate the conflict.
Physical Actions to Overcome Rejection
Stay Active: Engage in regular physical activity. Exercise releases endorphins, which can improve your mood and reduce feelings of stress and sadness.
Maintain a Healthy Routine: Ensure you get enough sleep, eat nutritious foods, and maintain a regular schedule. A healthy body can support a healthy mind, making you more resilient.
Do Something You Love: Engage in hobbies or activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Whether it’s painting, hiking, reading, or cooking, doing things you love can provide a great emotional lift and a positive distraction.
It was through prayer that I found the grace to release my pain and embrace hope, trusting that the strength of our relationship could weather the storms of rejection. God uses the rejection we experience from our children to cause us to read the Word and trust the Lord to help us work through the struggles.
God Will Help You Overcome Rejection
Remember, rejection is a part of life that everyone faces at some point. It’s not a reflection of your worth or capabilities. With these practical steps, you can nurture your relationship and overcome rejection. Someday, you will look back on those moments of heartache and learn to see them not as scars but as landmarks of our journey toward healing.
You might wonder what my relationships with my adult children are like. Well, they are deeper and more profound because of the challenges we’ve overcome. It’s a testament to the faithfulness of the Lord, of the love we cultivated over the years, and the transformative power of forgiveness. And it can be for you, too.
To any parent walking through the shadow of rejection, know that this is not the end of your story. With time, prayer, and a heart willing to heal, what was once broken can be made whole. The journey may be fraught with challenges, but it is also filled with opportunities for growth, understanding, and an even deeper connection with your child. Remember, the echoes of rejection can eventually lead to the harmonies of reconciliation and love.
If you find this podcast helpful, please subscribe and leave a review. It’s a great way to support the show and help others build stronger families and closer relationships. And it only takes a few seconds.
Have a Question or Want to Book Connie to Speak?
We want to hear from you! To contest with Connie, simply email me: Contact Connie here.
Navigating rejection from our children is part of the rollercoaster world of parenting, where the highs are dizzying, and the lows can knock the wind out of you. This week, I explore the untold story of parental rejection, an emotional ride that can leave you questioning everything.
Equipped To Be is a podcast where we don’t just share struggles; we navigate through them together. You can learn to navigate the sting of rejection and protect your future relationship.
As a mom of five and mentor for other parents, I’ve experienced rejection more often than I’d like. Each time, it’s as if there’s a tiny crack in the bond I’ve built with my kids, reminding me that even the deepest love can face pushback and pain. Kids can lash out, pull back, choose others over us, or lock their deepest thoughts away.
To mend these breaks, I first tried to understand the source of their rejection. This was the beginning of a long road to bringing our hearts back together. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth every step.
Types of Rejection
Understanding these manifestations of rejection was the first step in a long journey of healing and restoration. Verbal rejections cut deep, but they often sprang from a place of frustration or a need for autonomy. Physical withdrawal and the pursuit of privacy signaled a natural progression towards independence, while criticism and embarrassment reflected their budding self-identity and social consciousness.
Navigating the choppy waters of parenthood often means facing the storm of rejection in various forms. Here are some of the most common ways kids might express rejection toward their parents:
~Verbal Rejection
~Physical Rejection
~Ignoring Rejection
~Choosing the Other Parent
~Rejecting Against Rules
~Privacy and Secrecy
~Social and Emotional Distance
~Rejection of Family Traditions
~Critcisim
~Expressing Embarrassment
Understanding these forms of rejection is crucial, as they often stem from the child’s developmental stage, emotional state, or a bid for independence rather than a true rejection of the parents themselves. It’s part of the complex, evolving parent-child relationship. While all forms of rejection are hurtful, learning to stay focused on your relationship goals will help you navigate it with love and understanding.
Rejection of Parents
I’ll be honest: being rejected by your child is painful regardless of the type of rejection you experience. The path to restoration is paved with open conversations, where listening is just as critical as talking. It involves acknowledging your child’s feelings without dismissing your own, creating a safe space where vulnerability could lead to understanding.
Time and time again, I had to remind myself that this journey wasn’t just about reclaiming the closeness we once shared; it was about forging a new relationship, one that respected the individuals my children were becoming. The most effective way to navigate rejection is through prayer.
The Pivotal Power of Prayer
It was through prayer that I found the grace to release my pain and embrace hope, trusting that the strength of our relationship could weather the storms of rejection. God uses the rejection we experience from our children to cause us to read the Word and trust the Lord to help us work through the struggles.
Today, as I look back on those moments of heartache, I see them not as scars but as landmarks of our journey toward healing. The relationship I share with my children now is richer and more profound because of the challenges we’ve overcome. It’s a testament to the resilience of the Lord, of love, and the transformative power of forgiveness. And it can be for you, too.
To any parent walking through the shadow of rejection, know that this is not the end of your story. With time, prayer, and a heart willing to heal, what was once broken can be made whole. The journey may be fraught with challenges, but it is also filled with opportunities for growth, understanding, and an even deeper connection with your child. Remember, the echoes of rejection can eventually lead to the harmonies of reconciliation and love.
If you find this podcast helpful, please subscribe and leave a review. It’s a great way to support the show and help others build stronger families and closer relationships. And it only takes a few seconds.
Have a Question or Want to Book Connie to Speak?
We want to hear from you! To contest with Connie, simply email me: Contact Connie here.
Are you lying awake at night wondering why trouble seems to find your teen? Do you find yourself asking why simple requests turn into heated arguments? Have you noticed changes in their behavior that don’t seem just “typical teenage stuff”? If you’re nodding along, feeling the weight of these questions, you’re not alone. Welcome to this episode of “Trouble with Teens,” a direct conversation to help parents seeking a lifeline as they navigate the rough season of adolescence. Let’s tackle these turbulent years together with strategies that will bring us closer to understanding our teens and guiding them through today’s complexities.
While trouble with teens isn’t uncommon, we can help teens on the edge from acting up or acting out. They are created on purpose and need us to guide them along a path to adulthood with confidence and joy.
Avoid Overreacting
Modeling Calmness: Teens are highly attuned to emotional responses. Showing them how to handle emotions calmly and constructively sets a powerful example.
Creating a Trusting Environment: When teens know they won’t be met with immediate judgment or anger, they’re more likely to come forward with their problems or mistakes.
Evaluate the Circumstances
Understanding Before Reacting: Take the time to fully understand the context of your teen’s actions or feelings. This might involve discussing their actions more deeply or considering the external pressures they’re facing.
Guidance, Not Judgment: Use these discussions as opportunities to guide and teach, rather than to criticize. It’s about helping them learn from their experiences.
Identify Their Surroundings
Acknowledge Peer Influence: Recognize the significant impact of peer groups and social environments. Discussing these influences can help teens become more aware of their own decision-making processes.
Environmental Awareness: Help them understand how different environments can lead to different types of behavior, and strategize ways to maintain integrity in challenging situations.
Be Proactive
Scenario Planning: Discuss “what-if” scenarios not as a way to induce fear, but to empower your teen with strategies and solutions for potential challenges.
Preparation Builds Confidence: Knowing they have a plan can help teens feel more confident in their ability to handle difficult situations.
Listen Actively
Full Engagement: Show your teen that you’re fully present in the conversation by putting away distractions and making eye contact.
Reflect and Clarify: Reflect back what you’ve heard and ask clarifying questions. This not only ensures you’ve understood their perspective but also shows that you’re genuinely interested in their thoughts and feelings.
Additional Considerations
Consistency is Key: Regular, casual conversations can foster a sense of normalcy around discussing complex issues. Making time for these talks can help keep communication lines open.
Encourage Self-Reflection: Encourage your teen to reflect on their feelings and actions independently. This self-reflection is a critical skill for emotional and psychological development.
Teenagers need clear expectations and routines, such as curfews, bedtime rituals, or homework schedules. These help them build healthy habits and learn responsibility. We start by being consistent in enforcing our family rules and explaining the consequences.
Seek Professional Help
Sometimes, despite our best efforts, the challenges our teens face may require professional intervention. Recognizing when it’s time to seek outside help is a sign of strength and proactive care, not a failure. Whether it’s counseling, therapy, or support groups, external resources can offer specialized guidance and support for navigating more complex issues. These professionals can provide a safe space for teens to explore their feelings and experiences and offer strategies and tools that parents might not have at their disposal. Engaging with these resources can be a valuable step in supporting your teen’s mental health and overall well-being, ensuring they have the comprehensive support they need to thrive. But do your research before sending your child to a counselor. Find someone or a group that aligns with your family’s faith and beliefs.
By employing these strategies, parents can help guide their teens through the challenges of adolescence with understanding, empathy, and effective communication. This approach not only addresses the immediate issues but also strengthens the parent-teen relationship, laying a foundation for trust and openness that can stand the test of time and troubles.
Remember, God tells us not to grow weary in well-doing. God is at work. Don’t give up!
Thank you for tuning in to Equipped To Be. Until next time, keep parenting with love and intention.
In the whirlwind journey of parenthood, amidst the sleepless nights and countless diaper changes, there exists an invaluable gift that can make all the difference: community. This is why the concept of building a community of like-minded friends holds such significance in the modern parenting landscape.
We are created for relationships, yet many of us feel isolated and alone. That’s why having a community of friends can have a positive impact on every family member.
Building a community of families who share a similar vision and values provides a nurturing environment where parents and children can flourish. But it takes some effort to create the support you need to navigate the journey.
Importance of a Supportive Community for Both Parents and Children
For parents, a supportive community offers a safe space to share their joys, fears, and frustrations without fear of judgment. It’s a place where they can find empathy, advice, and practical assistance from those who understand firsthand the highs and lows of raising children.
The benefits of community extend far beyond the parents themselves. Research has consistently shown that children thrive in environments where they feel connected and supported. And a community of like-minded friends helps kids grow and mature. A strong community provides children with opportunities for social interaction, emotional development, and the cultivation of important life skills.
The Purpose of Building a Community of Friends
By bringing together families who share similar values, beliefs, and parenting philosophies, we create an environment for meaningful connections to encourage us. Whether bonding over shared hobbies, holiday traditions, or common goals for our children’s futures, like-minded parents can provide a sense of belonging and solidarity that is both comforting and empowering.
The Purpose of Building a Community of Friends
The purpose of building a community of like-minded parents is to create a supportive community where parents and children alike can thrive. It’s about forging connections, fostering empathy, and building a friend group that nurtures and supports each member as they navigate the beautiful, messy, and endlessly rewarding adventure of parenthood.
Friends are like seasons; they change over time. Some are part of our lives for a season, others a lifetime.
The Seasons of Friendships
As I reflect on something my mother-in-law wrote when she was in her twenties, I realize that friends have different roles in our lives. I was also reminded of the friends who have been part of my life. I am awed by their differences, but each friend has left a mark on my heart.
You’ll have friends who pray with you, laugh with you, cry with you, and grow with you over the years, forging bonds that transcend the passage of time.
As I watch my own children navigate the landscape of friendship, I am reminded of the profound impact that these connections have on their young lives. From the giggles shared with their playground pals to the heartfelt conversations exchanged with their closest confidants, each friendship plays a vital role in shaping their identities and enriching their experiences.
Whether a friend is here for a season or a lifetime, each friend adds meaning and value to our lives. They leave behind a legacy of love and laughter that will endure for generations to come. So, let us cherish those like-minded friends who bring joy, comfort, and companionship into our lives.
We need to teach our children that friends bind us all together.
I’m so tired of other moms putting down, marginalizing, and mocking moms. Moms deserve better. Raising children is hard work. We should be uplifting moms at every turn. It’s time to stop mom-shaming! Mom-shaming perpetuates feelings of guilt, inadequacy, and isolation among mothers, creating unnecessary pressure to conform to societal expectations and ideals.
When I was a younger mom, I constantly felt scrutinized by other moms. Even though I tried my best, I still felt like it wasn’t enough. It was like being in a never-ending game of “Parenting Olympics,” where every decision, from breastfeeding to screen time limits, was up for judgment. Let’s face it: we’ve all felt that pang of insecurity when another mom’s Pinterest-perfect life seems light-years away from our own chaos.
But here’s the thing: motherhood isn’t about perfection; it’s about love, resilience, and the messy beauty of raising tiny humans. So what if dinner is occasionally takeout instead of a gourmet masterpiece? Or if your laundry pile could rival Mount Everest? We’re doing the best we can, and that’s more than enough.
What is Mom-Shaming?
Mom-shaming refers to the act of criticizing or judging mothers for their parenting choices, behaviors, or decisions. It often involves unsolicited commentary or scrutiny from others, including family members, friends, strangers, or even media outlets, regarding a mother’s approach to child-rearing. Mom-shaming can take various forms, ranging from subtle remarks to outright condemnation, and it can have detrimental effects on a mother’s self-esteem, confidence, and mental well-being.
So, the next time you feel tempted to judge another mom for her parenting choices, take a moment to pause and reflect. Remember that behind every tired smile is a warrior fighting battles you may know nothing about. Let’s lift each other up, cheer each other on, and create a community where mom-shaming has no place.
The list of reasons moms are shamed by others is numerous.
Why are Moms Shamed by Others?
Examples of mom-shaming include:
Breastfeeding vs. Formula Feeding: Moms may face criticism for their choice to breastfeed or formula-feed their babies. Those who breastfeed might encounter judgment for nursing in public, while mothers who opt for formula may be accused of prioritizing convenience over their child’s health.
Stay-at-Home Moms vs. Working Moms: Mothers who choose to stay at home to care for their children may face criticism for not contributing to the workforce, while working moms may be judged for not spending enough time with their children or for prioritizing their careers over family.
Parenting Styles: Differences in parenting styles can also lead to mom-shaming. For example, mothers who practice attachment parenting might be criticized for being too permissive, while those who adopt more disciplinary approaches might be labeled as overly strict or authoritarian.
Screen Time and Technology Use: Some moms may face scrutiny for allowing their children to spend too much time on electronic devices or for not closely monitoring their screen time. Others may be judged for being too restrictive or for not embracing technology as a learning tool.
Appearance and Self-Care: Mothers may be criticized for their appearance, weight, or fashion choices, with society often imposing unrealistic beauty standards on moms. They may also face judgment for prioritizing self-care activities, such as going to the gym or taking time for hobbies, instead of solely focusing on their children.
While these comparisons are common, that doesn’t make them right. If we stopped and thought before we spoke, we could save other moms a heap of hurt and frustration. The Lord wants us to build each other up with our words and actions.
Embrace Imperfection and Celebrate Differences
You are unique, one-of-a-kind, original. God made you the mom you are and gave you the children you have. So, instead of comparing ourselves to some unattainable standard of motherhood, let’s celebrate our differences and embrace the glorious messiness of it all. Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom, a working mom, or a mix of both, your journey is uniquely yours, and it deserves to be honored.
Let’s remember: As moms, we often carry the weight of the world on our shoulders, juggling countless responsibilities while trying to keep it all together. Yet, despite our best efforts, we find ourselves facing criticism and judgment from all directions. It’s time to reject the notion that we have to fit into some mold of “perfect” motherhood. We are imperfectly perfect just as we are, and our differences make us strong. Let’s lift each other up; knowing that the Lord wants us to teach and train our children in the way they should go is what truly matters. Together, we can create a community where mom-shaming has no place and where empathy and understanding are the motivating factors. So, to all the moms out there, be confident, embrace your unique journey, and know that you are enough, just as you are.
References and Links
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Proverbs 31:26-28 (NIV): “She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.”
If you find this podcast helpful, please subscribe and leave a review. It’s a great way to support the show and only takes a few seconds. Thank you ~Connie
Have a Question or Want to Book Connie to Speak?
If you have a question about how to handle your thoughts and emotions, email me here. We are happy to help.
