In the whirlwind journey of parenthood, amidst the sleepless nights and countless diaper changes, there exists an invaluable gift that can make all the difference: community. This is why the concept of building a community of like-minded friends holds such significance in the modern parenting landscape.
We are created for relationships, yet many of us feel isolated and alone. That’s why having a community of friends can have a positive impact on every family member.
Building a community of families who share a similar vision and values provides a nurturing environment where parents and children can flourish. But it takes some effort to create the support you need to navigate the journey.
Importance of a Supportive Community for Both Parents and Children
For parents, a supportive community offers a safe space to share their joys, fears, and frustrations without fear of judgment. It’s a place where they can find empathy, advice, and practical assistance from those who understand firsthand the highs and lows of raising children.
The benefits of community extend far beyond the parents themselves. Research has consistently shown that children thrive in environments where they feel connected and supported. And a community of like-minded friends helps kids grow and mature. A strong community provides children with opportunities for social interaction, emotional development, and the cultivation of important life skills.
The Purpose of Building a Community of Friends
By bringing together families who share similar values, beliefs, and parenting philosophies, we create an environment for meaningful connections to encourage us. Whether bonding over shared hobbies, holiday traditions, or common goals for our children’s futures, like-minded parents can provide a sense of belonging and solidarity that is both comforting and empowering.
The Purpose of Building a Community of Friends
The purpose of building a community of like-minded parents is to create a supportive community where parents and children alike can thrive. It’s about forging connections, fostering empathy, and building a friend group that nurtures and supports each member as they navigate the beautiful, messy, and endlessly rewarding adventure of parenthood.
Friends are like seasons; they change over time. Some are part of our lives for a season, others a lifetime.
The Seasons of Friendships
As I reflect on something my mother-in-law wrote when she was in her twenties, I realize that friends have different roles in our lives. I was also reminded of the friends who have been part of my life. I am awed by their differences, but each friend has left a mark on my heart.
You’ll have friends who pray with you, laugh with you, cry with you, and grow with you over the years, forging bonds that transcend the passage of time.
As I watch my own children navigate the landscape of friendship, I am reminded of the profound impact that these connections have on their young lives. From the giggles shared with their playground pals to the heartfelt conversations exchanged with their closest confidants, each friendship plays a vital role in shaping their identities and enriching their experiences.
Whether a friend is here for a season or a lifetime, each friend adds meaning and value to our lives. They leave behind a legacy of love and laughter that will endure for generations to come. So, let us cherish those like-minded friends who bring joy, comfort, and companionship into our lives.
We need to teach our children that friends bind us all together.
I’m so tired of other moms putting down, marginalizing, and mocking moms. Moms deserve better. Raising children is hard work. We should be uplifting moms at every turn. It’s time to stop mom-shaming! Mom-shaming perpetuates feelings of guilt, inadequacy, and isolation among mothers, creating unnecessary pressure to conform to societal expectations and ideals.
When I was a younger mom, I constantly felt scrutinized by other moms. Even though I tried my best, I still felt like it wasn’t enough. It was like being in a never-ending game of “Parenting Olympics,” where every decision, from breastfeeding to screen time limits, was up for judgment. Let’s face it: we’ve all felt that pang of insecurity when another mom’s Pinterest-perfect life seems light-years away from our own chaos.
But here’s the thing: motherhood isn’t about perfection; it’s about love, resilience, and the messy beauty of raising tiny humans. So what if dinner is occasionally takeout instead of a gourmet masterpiece? Or if your laundry pile could rival Mount Everest? We’re doing the best we can, and that’s more than enough.
What is Mom-Shaming?
Mom-shaming refers to the act of criticizing or judging mothers for their parenting choices, behaviors, or decisions. It often involves unsolicited commentary or scrutiny from others, including family members, friends, strangers, or even media outlets, regarding a mother’s approach to child-rearing. Mom-shaming can take various forms, ranging from subtle remarks to outright condemnation, and it can have detrimental effects on a mother’s self-esteem, confidence, and mental well-being.
So, the next time you feel tempted to judge another mom for her parenting choices, take a moment to pause and reflect. Remember that behind every tired smile is a warrior fighting battles you may know nothing about. Let’s lift each other up, cheer each other on, and create a community where mom-shaming has no place.
The list of reasons moms are shamed by others is numerous.
Why are Moms Shamed by Others?
Examples of mom-shaming include:
Breastfeeding vs. Formula Feeding: Moms may face criticism for their choice to breastfeed or formula-feed their babies. Those who breastfeed might encounter judgment for nursing in public, while mothers who opt for formula may be accused of prioritizing convenience over their child’s health.
Stay-at-Home Moms vs. Working Moms: Mothers who choose to stay at home to care for their children may face criticism for not contributing to the workforce, while working moms may be judged for not spending enough time with their children or for prioritizing their careers over family.
Parenting Styles: Differences in parenting styles can also lead to mom-shaming. For example, mothers who practice attachment parenting might be criticized for being too permissive, while those who adopt more disciplinary approaches might be labeled as overly strict or authoritarian.
Screen Time and Technology Use: Some moms may face scrutiny for allowing their children to spend too much time on electronic devices or for not closely monitoring their screen time. Others may be judged for being too restrictive or for not embracing technology as a learning tool.
Appearance and Self-Care: Mothers may be criticized for their appearance, weight, or fashion choices, with society often imposing unrealistic beauty standards on moms. They may also face judgment for prioritizing self-care activities, such as going to the gym or taking time for hobbies, instead of solely focusing on their children.
While these comparisons are common, that doesn’t make them right. If we stopped and thought before we spoke, we could save other moms a heap of hurt and frustration. The Lord wants us to build each other up with our words and actions.
Embrace Imperfection and Celebrate Differences
You are unique, one-of-a-kind, original. God made you the mom you are and gave you the children you have. So, instead of comparing ourselves to some unattainable standard of motherhood, let’s celebrate our differences and embrace the glorious messiness of it all. Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom, a working mom, or a mix of both, your journey is uniquely yours, and it deserves to be honored.
Let’s remember: As moms, we often carry the weight of the world on our shoulders, juggling countless responsibilities while trying to keep it all together. Yet, despite our best efforts, we find ourselves facing criticism and judgment from all directions. It’s time to reject the notion that we have to fit into some mold of “perfect” motherhood. We are imperfectly perfect just as we are, and our differences make us strong. Let’s lift each other up; knowing that the Lord wants us to teach and train our children in the way they should go is what truly matters. Together, we can create a community where mom-shaming has no place and where empathy and understanding are the motivating factors. So, to all the moms out there, be confident, embrace your unique journey, and know that you are enough, just as you are.
References and Links
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Proverbs 31:26-28 (NIV): “She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.”
If you find this podcast helpful, please subscribe and leave a review. It’s a great way to support the show and only takes a few seconds. Thank you ~Connie
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Welcome to our cozy corner of the podcast world, where I discuss the heart of strengthening families with honesty and wisdom. I’ve received several requests from listeners asking me about teaching life skills to children. I put together a topic close to every parent’s heart: teaching children life skills. This week, I share 5 skills parents must teach children. While there are more than five, the five I list are non-negotiable in nurturing well-rounded, happy children.
In an ever-changing and challenging world, teaching your kids about self-control, compassion, consistency, collaboration, and celebration isn’t just beneficial—it’s essential. Join me as I share the 5 Cs parents must teach children. Whether you’re a new parent or trying to navigate the teen years, these truths will help you lay a foundation for a future where your children not only make wise choices but also contribute to it with their unique personalities.
Teaching Self-Control
Think of self-control as a muscle that gets stronger with every use. To build this muscle in your children, begin by guiding them to recognize and name their emotions, reinforcing that it’s perfectly normal to feel everything from anger to excitement.
Introduce them to easy, calming techniques—like taking deep breaths or counting to ten—when they’re swamped by big feelings. Teach them the power of pausing to consider their actions before jumping in. Lead by example, showing self-control in your own actions, and don’t forget to celebrate their successes in managing their impulses. It’s all about taking small steps forward, celebrating progress over perfection.
Teaching Compassion
Compassion is about stepping into someone else’s shoes and feeling with them. Guide your child to sprinkle acts of kindness wherever they go, from lending a hand to a friend to showing love to their pets. Teach your child to actively listen and validate other’s emotions without judgment. Remind them that showing compassion not only benefits others but also brings joy and fulfillment to their own lives.
Teaching Consistency
Consistency is key to building habits and achieving goals. Parents must establish clear expectations and routines for their children, such as bedtime rituals or homework schedules. Be consistent in enforcing rules and consequences, but also provide flexibility for adaptation and growth. Help your child set realistic goals and break them down into manageable steps. Celebrate their progress along the way and encourage perseverance in the face of challenges.
Teaching Collaboration
While learning self-control, compassion, and consistency are important life skills, teaching children to collaborate can impact every aspect of their lives, from school projects to lifelong relationships. Steering children towards team-based activities, where they’ll learn to share their toys and not insist on getting their way, highlights the value of considering other perspectives and chasing shared ambitions. Don’t forget to show them how to celebrate their team spirit and jointly celebrate victories, big and small.
Learning to Celebrate
Imagine your child has poured their heart into piano practice for months and finally takes the stage for their first recital. Instead of solely focusing on their own performance or comparing themselves to others, encourage them to cheer for their fellow musicians. Celebrate not only your child’s hard work and dedication but also the achievements of their peers. Host a small gathering where everyone can share in the joy of each other’s performances, fostering a supportive and uplifting atmosphere. By teaching your child to cheer for others, you instill empathy, kindness, and a sense of community, nurturing their social skills and enriching their overall development.
Teaching kids these 5 Skills: Self-Control, Compassion, Collaboration, Consistency, and Celebration—is an investment in their future happiness and success. By nurturing these essential life skills, we equip our children to navigate challenges, build meaningful relationships, and thrive in a rapidly changing world. So, let’s lead by example, cultivate a nurturing environment, and cheer our children on every step of the way.
It might not seem like your efforts are working, but they are. Remember, God tells us not to grow weary in well-doing. You have years to teach these skills to your children.
Thank you for tuning in to Equipped To Be. Until next time, keep parenting with love and intention.
Is it possible to have full healing after marital infidelity? That’s the question I’m asking my guests, Phil and Priscilla Fretwell. We have a transparent conversation about how, after twenty-eight years of betrayal and infidelity, God put a shattered marriage back together.
Hiding Behind Perfection
When we live a life in secrecy, we often put on the appearance of perfection. Hiding behind perfection can inflict profound damage, both internally and externally. On a personal level, the relentless pursuit of flawlessness often leads to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and self-doubt as individuals strive to maintain an unattainable facade. This constant pressure to appear faultless can erode one’s sense of self-worth and authenticity.
The illusion of perfection can strain relationships, breeding resentment and mistrust as loved ones struggle to connect with someone who seems untouchable. Ultimately, the damage wrought by hiding behind perfection extends beyond the individual, permeating the fabric of their relationships and corroding the foundation of genuine human connection.
Healing can’t begin without pulling back the curtain and being honest and transparent with your spouse.
Full Healing Starts with Transparency
God sends us a lifeline to get through the broken trust, anger, and disbelief. “Whatever It Takes Ministries” is a lifeline many couples use to get through the shame, guilt, and pain of infidelity.
I don’t believe it’s possible to achieve freedom and healing without the help of the Lord, humility, commitment, and spiritual intimacy. You must run to the pain, not away from it.
I pray you will be encouraged by this episode! ~Connie
About Phil and Priscilla Fretwell
Phil and Priscilla Fretwell are the co-founders of Savage Marriage Ministries, equipping couples to overcome wounds of their past to find forgiveness, experience freedom, and embrace hope for the future. They are also authors of Savage Marriage: Triumph over Betrayal and Sexual Addiction and Savage Marriage Small Group Study Guide: Overcome Your Past. Fight for Your Future.
How do you handle the storms of life? This week, I focus on “Embracing Storms Not Chasing Them,” where my guest, Tracy Smoak, and I explore how life’s challenges can become stepping stones rather than stumbling blocks. In today’s episode, we discuss the idea of embracing storms and how God uses these difficult moments as catalysts for growth and progress. We’ll particularly focus on three positive ways that God utilizes storms for our good.
The Purpose of Embracing Storms Not Chasing Them
Often, we find ourselves caught in the midst of life’s storms, struggling to navigate through the chaos. However, it’s essential to recognize that these storms serve a purpose in our lives.
God allows storms to enter our lives not to destroy us but to strengthen and refine us. They are opportunities for growth and transformation.
By embracing the storms, we can discover valuable lessons, develop resilience, and deepen our faith in God’s provision and guidance.
Finding Strength in Embracing Storms
One positive way that God uses storms for our good is by building resilience within us. Just as a tree’s roots grow stronger when faced with strong winds, our character can deepen and strengthen through adversity.
In the midst of the storm, we have the opportunity to tap into inner reservoirs of strength and courage that we may not have known existed.
Through these challenging experiences, we learn to rely on God’s strength and find comfort in His presence, knowing that we are never alone.
Uncovereing Hidden Blessings of Embracing Storms
Another way that God uses storms for our good is by revealing hidden blessings amidst the chaos. In the darkest moments, there are often truths waiting to be discovered.
Storms have a way of stripping away the distractions and illusions in our lives, allowing us to refocus on what truly matters.
As we navigate through the storm, we may uncover unexpected blessings, such as deeper relationships, newfound purpose, or a renewed sense of gratitude. The Lord often uses tests and trials to teach us to trust in Him.
As we navigate through life’s storms, may we learn to embrace them with courage and faith, knowing that God is working all things together for our good. It will be messy and hard, but you aren’t alone. Take the time to use them as “leaning” lessons. Leaning on the One who will never leave or forsake you.
By finding strength in adversity, uncovering hidden blessings, and growing through surrender, we can move forward with hope and resilience, ready to embrace whatever storms may come our way.
About Tracy Smoak
A native Floridian, Tracy L. Smoak grew up riding horses and climbing citrus trees. Her passion is to encourage others in their faith journey. Smoak contributes to Guideposts. Ambassador International released her debut novel, Who Brought the Dog to Church?. Bold Vision published her Bible study about encouragement titled Refuge of Grace: Finding Your Safe Place. She authored several books, three with her original color photography, and holds a master’s of education. Also, check out her weekly blog posts, which drop on Saturday.
How can we raise boys to men when society has lost its way? As a mom of three boys, I understand the importance of raising boys in the future of our society. That’s why I invited Mark Hancock, CEO of Trial Life USA, to join me to share what parents, grandparents, coaches, and ministry leaders can do.
Too many boys are turning to virtual worlds, including television, video games, digital media, and the internet, to find realms they can conquer and areas where they can excel. The result of this virtual conquest is often apathy, apparent rebellion, or outright resistance to real-world challenges. However, you can shape and guide your boys on their journey to becoming men.
In this honest look at raising boys, we outline essential principles for raising boys to become godly, responsible men of integrity, honesty, and determination. Mark and I share invaluable insights and practical wisdom gleaned from years of experience in mentoring and guiding young men toward a fulfilling life. One filled with meaning and purpose.
Raising Boys of Integrity and Honesty
Lead by Example: Boys learn a great deal from observing the behavior of adults, particularly their parents and other influential figures. And don’t forget to model honesty and integrity in your own actions and interactions. Be transparent about your own mistakes and demonstrate how to take responsibility and make amends when necessary. By consistently embodying these values, you provide a powerful example for boys to emulate.
Encourage Open Communication: Foster an environment that promotes open communication, where boys feel safe to express themselves honestly and without fear of judgment. Encourage them to openly share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences, and actively listen to what they have to say. Engage in discussions about moral dilemmas, ethical decision-making, and the importance of honesty in relationships. Promoting open dialogue creates opportunities for boys to develop a deeper understanding of integrity and honesty and how these values apply to various aspects of their lives.
Navigating Challenges in Today’s Culture
Establish Clear Values and Boundaries: We help boys navigate challenges in today’s culture by establishing clear values and boundaries from an early age. Discuss with them your family’s values, such as respect, kindness, and empathy, and explain why these values are important to you. Encourage critical thinking and help them analyze media messages, social trends, and peer influences in light of these values. Parents empower boys to make informed decisions and resist negative influences by providing a strong moral compass and clear guidelines.
Promote Resilience and Problem-Solving Skills: Equip boys with the resilience and problem-solving skills they need to navigate challenges in today’s culture effectively. Encourage them to view setbacks as opportunities for growth and learning. Teach them coping strategies for managing stress, adversity, and peer pressure, such as deep breathing, positive self-talk, and seeking support from trusted adults. By fostering resilience and problem-solving skills, parents empower boys to face challenges with confidence, adaptability, and perseverance.
Raising Boys to Godly Men
Boys need a father or a father-like figure in their lives to look up to and learn from, showing them what it means to be a man. Study after study backs that up. Boys learn how to be persistent by providing supportive feedback and encouragement.
We help boys build determination and resilience by setting achievable goals and encouraging them to persistently work towards them. Break down larger goals into smaller, manageable tasks, and celebrate their progress along the way. Encourage them to develop a growth mindset, viewing challenges as opportunities for growth rather than obstacles to success. By instilling a sense of purpose and direction, boys learn to stay focused and resilient in the face of setbacks.
We need to offer boys supportive feedback and encouragement to foster determination and resilience. Recognize their efforts and progress, emphasizing their strengths and resilience in overcoming obstacles. Encourage them to reflect on their experiences, identify lessons learned, and celebrate their achievements, no matter how small. By providing a nurturing and affirming environment, boys develop the confidence and resilience to persevere through difficulties and pursue their goals with determination.
About Mark Hancock
Mark T. Hancock began his career by founding an advertising agency that grew to national prominence over the course of fifteen years. His conversion to Christ led him into ministry as a Youth and College Pastor, Associate Pastor, Homeless Ministry Director, and Global Event Director for an international ministry, organizing events on five continents.
An award-winning author, writer, and conference speaker, he serves as the Chief Executive Officer of Trail Life USA and resides near Greenville, SC, with his wife of over 30 years. They have two sons.
If you find this podcast helpful, please subscribe and leave a review. It’s a great way to support the show and only takes a few seconds. Thank you ~Connie
Have a Question or Want to Book Connie to Speak?
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