As a mom, you know how detrimental comparison can be. Today, I’ll be sharing five principles on a topic that I believe resonates with every mother out there: navigating motherhood without comparison. As a mother myself, I understand just how easy it is to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others. The seemingly perfect social media posts, the well-behaved kids in public, the moms who seem to have it all together – it’s a minefield out there. But today, I want to share with you five key points to help you steer clear of this comparison trap and focus on your unique journey.
To help you avoid the comparison trap, here are five essential points to help you navigate motherhood with confidence and grace
Abide in the Word
The first and most important point is to abide in the Word. As mothers, we need to ground ourselves in the truth of God’s Word. It’s easy to get caught up in the world’s standards and forget that our value and worth come from our Creator. Psalm 139:14 reminds us that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” When we immerse ourselves in Scripture, we gain perspective and strength. It’s in these moments of quiet reflection that we are reminded of who we truly are and the unique path God has laid out for us.
Remember Your Purpose
Sometimes, it is hard to remember we are called to run our race. Every mother has a unique purpose. It’s easy to lose sight of this when we start comparing ourselves to others. Remember, your journey is yours alone. God has entrusted you with your children for a reason. When we focus on our purpose and the special role we play in our children’s lives, it becomes easier to tune out the noise and focus on what truly matters. Embrace your individuality and celebrate the unique gifts you bring to your family.
Avoid Motherhood Comparison with Humility
Humility is a powerful antidote to comparison. When we serve others with a humble heart, we shift our focus from ourselves to those around us. Philippians 2:3-4 encourages us to “do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” Serving with humility helps us to appreciate the journey of others without feeling the need to compare. It fosters a spirit of community and support rather than competition.
Even in Biblical times, mothers were concerned about the success of their children. The mother of John and James came to Jesus, requesting, “Say that these two sons of mine are to sit, one at your right hand and one at your left, in your kingdom” (Matthew 20:21). While the other disciples took offense at her request, surprisingly Jesus did not rebuke her for her desire but instructed, “Whoever would be great among you must be your servant” (26). Following the way of Christ and humbly serving others is the path to greatness in motherhood.
Consider the Person Comparing
Sometimes, we are our own worst enemies. The person doing the comparing is often ourselves. It’s important to recognize this and extend grace to ourselves. We all have moments of doubt and insecurity, but these moments do not define us. Acknowledge your feelings, but don’t let them control you. Remind yourself that you are doing your best, and that is enough. Give yourself the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a friend.
Cultivate Gratitude Not Comparison
Finally, cultivating gratitude can transform our perspective. When we focus on what we have rather than what we lack, we begin to see the beauty in our lives. Start a gratitude journal or take a few moments each day to reflect on the blessings in your life. Gratitude helps to shift our focus from comparison to contentment. It allows us to appreciate the little moments that make motherhood so special.
As we navigate motherhood without comparison, our journey is filled with great joy. It’s crucial to remember that comparison is a thief of joy. By abiding in the Word, remembering our purpose, serving with humility, considering the person comparing, and cultivating gratitude, we can find peace and fulfillment in our unique path. Until next time, take care and cherish every moment.
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Overcoming rejection is possible when we focus on our emotional actions, mental actions, physical actions, and spiritual actions! I don’t like to be rejected. And chances are you don’t either? Honestly, no one likes to be rejected, but overcoming rejection is a part of life that we must learn to do well. Today, we’ll continue our topic on rejection. Last week, we focused on navigating rejection. While navigating rejection is vital to understanding what is happening in your child, overcoming rejection helps us protect the bond during the healing process.
It is possible to overcome the sting of rejection and experience the joy of restoration.
Overcoming rejection can be tough, but there are several action steps you can take to heal emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. Here are a few suggestions to help you move forward and regain your balance:
To mend these breaks, try to understand the source of rejection. This might take several conversations and sincere prayer, but it does help your hurting hearts mend and see relationships restored. It isn’t easy, but it is worth every step.
Emotional Actions to Overcome Rejection
Understanding these manifestations of rejection is the first step in a long journey of healing and restoration. Verbal rejections cut deep, but they often spring from a place of frustration or a child’s need for autonomy. Physical withdrawal and the pursuit of privacy signal a natural progression towards independence, while criticism and embarrassment reflect their budding self-identity and social consciousness.
Allow Yourself to Feel: Acknowledge your emotions without judgment. It’s okay to feel hurt, disappointed, or frustrated after being rejected. Allowing yourself to truly experience these feelings can actually help us process them more naturally.
Express Your Feelings: Talk about what you’re going through with someone you trust. Expressing your feelings can lighten your emotional load and help you gain insights into your personal experience. Sometimes, just hearing yourself talk can help you understand more about what you need to heal.
Seek Professional Help: If your feelings of rejection are overwhelming, consider talking to a pastor or counselor. They can offer professional guidance to help you work through your emotions constructively.
While all forms of rejection are hurtful, learning to stay focused on your relationship goals will help you overcome the rejection with hope and healing.
Mental Actions to Overcome Rejection
I’ll be honest: being rejected by your child is painful regardless of the type of rejection you experience. The path to restoration is paved with open conversations, where listening is just as critical as talking. It involves acknowledging your child’s feelings without dismissing your own, creating a safe space where vulnerability could lead to understanding.
Challenge Negative Thoughts: Pay attention to and challenge any negative thoughts that arise from rejection. Replace thoughts like “I’m not good enough” with “I am good enough, but this wasn’t the right fit for me.”
Focus on Growth: Use the experience as a catalyst for self-improvement. Whether it’s enhancing skills, expanding your knowledge, or simply cultivating a new mindset, focusing on growth can turn rejection into a stepping stone.
Practice Mindfulness: Engage in mindfulness exercises such as prayer or deep breathing techniques. These practices can help center your thoughts and reduce the rumination often associated with rejection.
While practicing emotional and mental steps to overcoming rejection, there are physical actions your can take that will help you navigate the conflict.
Physical Actions to Overcome Rejection
Stay Active: Engage in regular physical activity. Exercise releases endorphins, which can improve your mood and reduce feelings of stress and sadness.
Maintain a Healthy Routine: Ensure you get enough sleep, eat nutritious foods, and maintain a regular schedule. A healthy body can support a healthy mind, making you more resilient.
Do Something You Love: Engage in hobbies or activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Whether it’s painting, hiking, reading, or cooking, doing things you love can provide a great emotional lift and a positive distraction.
It was through prayer that I found the grace to release my pain and embrace hope, trusting that the strength of our relationship could weather the storms of rejection. God uses the rejection we experience from our children to cause us to read the Word and trust the Lord to help us work through the struggles.
God Will Help You Overcome Rejection
Remember, rejection is a part of life that everyone faces at some point. It’s not a reflection of your worth or capabilities. With these practical steps, you can nurture your relationship and overcome rejection. Someday, you will look back on those moments of heartache and learn to see them not as scars but as landmarks of our journey toward healing.
You might wonder what my relationships with my adult children are like. Well, they are deeper and more profound because of the challenges we’ve overcome. It’s a testament to the faithfulness of the Lord, of the love we cultivated over the years, and the transformative power of forgiveness. And it can be for you, too.
To any parent walking through the shadow of rejection, know that this is not the end of your story. With time, prayer, and a heart willing to heal, what was once broken can be made whole. The journey may be fraught with challenges, but it is also filled with opportunities for growth, understanding, and an even deeper connection with your child. Remember, the echoes of rejection can eventually lead to the harmonies of reconciliation and love.
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Welcome to our cozy corner of the podcast world, where I discuss the heart of strengthening families with honesty and wisdom. I’ve received several requests from listeners asking me about teaching life skills to children. I put together a topic close to every parent’s heart: teaching children life skills. This week, I share 5 skills parents must teach children. While there are more than five, the five I list are non-negotiable in nurturing well-rounded, happy children.
In an ever-changing and challenging world, teaching your kids about self-control, compassion, consistency, collaboration, and celebration isn’t just beneficial—it’s essential. Join me as I share the 5 Cs parents must teach children. Whether you’re a new parent or trying to navigate the teen years, these truths will help you lay a foundation for a future where your children not only make wise choices but also contribute to it with their unique personalities.
Teaching Self-Control
Think of self-control as a muscle that gets stronger with every use. To build this muscle in your children, begin by guiding them to recognize and name their emotions, reinforcing that it’s perfectly normal to feel everything from anger to excitement.
Introduce them to easy, calming techniques—like taking deep breaths or counting to ten—when they’re swamped by big feelings. Teach them the power of pausing to consider their actions before jumping in. Lead by example, showing self-control in your own actions, and don’t forget to celebrate their successes in managing their impulses. It’s all about taking small steps forward, celebrating progress over perfection.
Teaching Compassion
Compassion is about stepping into someone else’s shoes and feeling with them. Guide your child to sprinkle acts of kindness wherever they go, from lending a hand to a friend to showing love to their pets. Teach your child to actively listen and validate other’s emotions without judgment. Remind them that showing compassion not only benefits others but also brings joy and fulfillment to their own lives.
Teaching Consistency
Consistency is key to building habits and achieving goals. Parents must establish clear expectations and routines for their children, such as bedtime rituals or homework schedules. Be consistent in enforcing rules and consequences, but also provide flexibility for adaptation and growth. Help your child set realistic goals and break them down into manageable steps. Celebrate their progress along the way and encourage perseverance in the face of challenges.
Teaching Collaboration
While learning self-control, compassion, and consistency are important life skills, teaching children to collaborate can impact every aspect of their lives, from school projects to lifelong relationships. Steering children towards team-based activities, where they’ll learn to share their toys and not insist on getting their way, highlights the value of considering other perspectives and chasing shared ambitions. Don’t forget to show them how to celebrate their team spirit and jointly celebrate victories, big and small.
Learning to Celebrate
Imagine your child has poured their heart into piano practice for months and finally takes the stage for their first recital. Instead of solely focusing on their own performance or comparing themselves to others, encourage them to cheer for their fellow musicians. Celebrate not only your child’s hard work and dedication but also the achievements of their peers. Host a small gathering where everyone can share in the joy of each other’s performances, fostering a supportive and uplifting atmosphere. By teaching your child to cheer for others, you instill empathy, kindness, and a sense of community, nurturing their social skills and enriching their overall development.
Teaching kids these 5 Skills: Self-Control, Compassion, Collaboration, Consistency, and Celebration—is an investment in their future happiness and success. By nurturing these essential life skills, we equip our children to navigate challenges, build meaningful relationships, and thrive in a rapidly changing world. So, let’s lead by example, cultivate a nurturing environment, and cheer our children on every step of the way.
It might not seem like your efforts are working, but they are. Remember, God tells us not to grow weary in well-doing. You have years to teach these skills to your children.
Thank you for tuning in to Equipped To Be. Until next time, keep parenting with love and intention.
Do you worry? Seems like every time you turn around, there’s another headline that strikes fear and causes worry these days. What about your kids? Do you worry about them? Do you worry you will ruin them? Do you worry about the things they will have to face? What can you do about worry? Well, Keri Eichberger is with me in this episode to talk about these big issues surrounding worry. Keri offers encouraging insights and reminds us of the power of God’s truth in conquering worry and finding peace in all seasons of life. You can win over worry!
In this episode, Keri and I discuss:
Keri’s family dynamics with five children and how that lends itself to an environment of worrying
How you can help someone if you are just one step ahead of them
The distinction between genuine concern and worry
Understanding the root fears behind worry, which often include a fear of helplessness and a fear of being unloved or unworthy
Understanding God’s unconditional love and his power
Overcoming worry by seeking God’s truth, turning to prayer, embracing community, studying the Bible, and other spiritual practices
Acknowledging that some individuals may be more predisposed to worry due to their wiring, but still emphasizing the same things work for those people
Keri’s example of a fear of flying and trusting God
Worry is common and we all face it. But, worry is not from God and you can overcome it through the power of God who lives in you!
About Keri Eichberger
Keri Eichberger lives just outside of Louisville, Kentucky, with her husband Mike and their five kids. Her own roller coaster of life trials, redeemed by a relationship with the Lord, fueled her desire to help others discover and experience the fullness of life found in Jesus. After years of writing for an online audience, she became ordained through Southeast Christian Church, giving her life to full-time ministry. She continues to follow her calling to bring faith-filled encouragement to others around the world through her social media influence, devotionals, Faith Fueled podcast, and Christian nonfiction books.
As I’ve traveled this summer, I’ve heard many people talk about being tired and overwhelmed. Just like you, I can’t get everything on my list done in a day! As a part of a recent conference, I participated in a retreat. So today I’m sharing with you the importance of retreating, just as Jesus did in the Bible. There is an urgent need to retreat! Let’s talk about this need for finding quietness and rest amidst the chaos of life and how retreating can provide strength, joy, and a renewed connection with God.
Sometimes quiet is something that we have to make happen. This act of retreating keeps us steady in the midst of chaos and near the heart of God.
“In quietness and rest is your strength.” – Isaiah 30:15
I’ve learned that if we don’t make time for this quiet and stillness, sometimes it is thrust upon us. It is vital that we retreat so we have the needed quiet to allow our minds to be still. God provides strength to us when we retreat. Rest moves us from burnout to breakthrough. Our lives are so busy, and these things are robbing us of the time that we need to be in God’s presence.
When I say retreat, I’m not talking about activities that require money or days away. I’m referring to the simple daily time alone with God.
In Genesis, God modeled the practice of rest after He finished creating. In the Gospels, Jesus modeled getting away from the crowds. If God Himself rested and retreated, it seems that we should follow His example. It is a lifeline for us!
“But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” – Luke 5:16
Exactly how you do this will look a little different from another person. Maybe you do this by taking a walk, sitting on the porch, or a chair where you can sit alone. You might be able to retreat for a minute or ten minutes or an hour.
Also, remember that your children are watching you. They will see how you take this time away with God and how you make spending that time a priority.
Things to consider:
Where can you retreat?
How long can you retreat?
What does God want to say to you?
More Verses to Ponder:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28
“He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul.” – Psalm 23:2-3
“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.” – Psalm 37:7
“Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, ‘Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.'” – Mark 6:31
“Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.” – Psalm 116:7
“The Lord replied, ‘My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.'” – Exodus 33:14
As the fall season approaches, I encourage you to incorporate retreating into your daily lives. I challenge you to add a time of retreat to your calendar. Guard that time like you do taking your children to their various activities. By carving out moments for stillness and communion with God, we can find strength, joy, and direction in the midst of life’s chaos.
I met Doris Swift a few years ago, shortly before we both started our podcasts. I’ve been a guest on her show and I’m delighted to introduce you to her in this episode. She’s an author, podcaster, and founder of Fierce Calling Ministries. Listen in as we talk about embracing your fierce calling in using your gifts, navigating challenges, and embracing the seasons in your lives.
This episode is sponsored by BJU Press Homeschool. Visit bjupresshomeschool.com for trusted educational resources from a biblical worldview.
Doris and I discuss:
Doris’ passion for encouraging and equipping women to walk deeper in God’s word and use their gifts to impact the world for Christ.
Being grandparents
What if I’m missing my calling?
The importance of embracing different seasons of life, including motherhood
The importance of not comparing ourselves to others
Facing trials and challenges, such as the destruction of Doris’ home by a hurricane
Finding strength and joy in Christ
The need for community and supporting one another in difficult times
The story behind Surrender the Joy Stealers, a 6-week Bible study
How we don’t know the depth of the stories of the people we cross paths with
I hope this episode inspired and equipped you to seek out the “joy stealers” in your life!
About Doris Swift
Doris Swift is an author, speaker, founder of Fierce Calling Ministries, and podcast host of the award-winning Fierce Calling Podcast. In ministry for more than thirty years, Doris is passionate about encouraging and equipping women to walk deeper in God’s word, take action where their passion, compassion, and conviction intersect, and use their God-given gifts to impact the world for Christ.
She is the author of Surrender the Joy Stealers: Rediscover the Jesus Joy in You, a six-week Bible study rooted in John 15, which was released in May 2023 by Elk Lake Publishers, Inc.
Doris’s writing has been featured on popular sites and in magazines such as (in)courage, Just Between Us Magazine, Life Letter Café, Thrive Global, Purposeful Faith, Arise Daily, and Spark Media Magazine. Doris contributed a chapter to the award-winning book compilation We May Be Done But We’re Not Finished by author Deb DeArmond, published by Elk Lake Publishing, Inc. She holds a Bachelor of Science in Interdisciplinary Studies from Liberty University in Christian counseling, psychology, and business.
Doris currently resides in Florida with her awesomely supportive husband Brian, is mom to two amazing grown-ups and a daughter-in-love and son-in-love, and gammy to six wonderful grandkids she adores.
