Overscheduled Kids? How to Balance Extracurricular Activities and Free Play is a question more parents are asking as childhood calendars fill up faster than ever.
In the race to provide every opportunity, from music lessons to competitive sports, we often overlook the quiet warning signs: tired eyes, anxious hearts, and lost joy. While enrichment activities can be wonderful, too much of a good thing can crowd out the space kids need to rest, play, and simply be.
In this episode, I’ll explain how to spot the signs of overscheduling, why free play matters more than we think, and practical ways to create a healthier, happier rhythm for your family.
The Modern Childhood Calendar: Full or Fulfilling?
It starts the same way for so many of us: you’re looking at your planner, thumbing through text reminders—piano at 3:30, soccer at 4:15, math tutor by 6—and you catch your child’s eyes looking at you. They look exhausted, not exhilarated. Why? Because the race to give our kids every opportunity can quietly squeeze out the very childhood we’re trying to enrich.
Pediatric experts have been sounding the alarm. A 2024 review found that children who log extra activities “hour after hour” show higher rates of anxiety, depression, and even anger than their less-scheduled peers solutionhealth.org. Dr. Deb Lonzer, a Cleveland Clinic pediatrician, puts it plainly: “Kids whose time is overly organized don’t have time to be kids, and their family doesn’t have time to be a family”
Translation? A bursting calendar isn’t automatically a fulfilling one; the magic is in the margin.
Signs Your Child Might Be Overscheduled
Mood swings & irritability – abrupt tears after practice or a hair-trigger temper at home.
Sleep troubles – trouble falling asleep or waking up tired despite a full night.
Loss of joy – once-beloved sports or clubs feel like chores.
Foggy focus – slipping grades or blank stares during homework time.
Physical complaints – frequent headaches or stomachaches with no apparent medical cause.
Mary Catherine, a pediatric nurse practitioner known as @the.mom.np, warns that children who rarely get downtime “may develop unexplained physical symptoms and rising anxiety,” nypost.com. When these red flags cluster, your child’s calendar—and nervous system—may be begging for breathing room.
How Much Is Too Much?
Let’s take a realistic Look at 2–3 Activities. Whether two or three activities are “too many” depends on:
Guiding Questions for Parents
Why It Matters
How much homework does my child average each night?
Academic load + rehearsals may crowd out sleep.
Does my child’s personality recharge alone or with people?
Introverts need more unscripted solitude.
Is at least one afternoon per week completely free?
Brains and bodies recover in empty space.
Does my child ask for this activity or merely tolerate it?
Are meals, faith gatherings, and family nights suffering?
When core relationships slip, the schedule needs trimming.
Keep evaluating each season: a heavier fall sports schedule might mean a lighter winter with more cozy family nights and outdoor play.
Why Free Play Matters More Than We Think
Play isn’t a frivolous break from “real” learning; it is real learning. The American Academy of Pediatrics describes play as “a powerful, brain-building activity that buffers toxic stress and builds executive function,” according to publications.aap.org. Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child notes that unstructured games enhance working memory, creativity, and self-control, skills that children will rely on throughout their lives. gse.harvard.edu.
Picture a backyard stick-sword turned spaceship: in ten minutes, your child has solved problems, negotiated rules with siblings, managed frustration, and, bonus, had fun. No adult-crafted curriculum required.
Building a Balanced Schedule
The “One-At-A-Time” Rule: Pediatric nurse practitioner Mary Catherine limits her own kids to one extracurricular per season and sees calmer, happier children because of it nypost.com. Try choosing a single focus each term (e.g., spring soccer, summer swim).
Time-Block Rest: Put “nothing” on the calendar. Literally block out unscheduled afternoons so chores, Lego builds, or cloud-watching can unfold without hurry.
Family Check-Ins: Over weekend breakfast, ask: “Which activity lit you up this week? Which one drained you?” Let kids’ answers guide next season’s sign-ups.
Protect Evenings: Aim for four shared meals at home each week. Research shows that family dinners are correlated with better mental health and academic performance; they’re worth protecting.
Model the Margin: When parents book every minute of their own lives, children copy the cadence. Show them how to say no—and how to savor a quiet walk or a board game.
Final Thought on Overscheduling Kids
Your child’s schedule should feel like well-paced music, moments of lively crescendo, followed by calm, restorative rests. When you strike that rhythm, you give them more than resume fodder; you give them space to discover who they are. And that, more than any trophy or recital, is the opportunity that matters most.
7 Reasons Parents Are Choosing Gentle Parenting. Gentle parenting isn’t just another trend; it’s a reflection of what many moms and dads feel deep in their hearts. We want to raise emotionally healthy kids without repeating the patterns we grew up with.
Parents are longing for connection, not just compliance. In this episode, I’m sharing what’s behind the growing shift toward gentle parenting and why more parents, maybe even you, are rethinking the way we guide, discipline, and disciple our children.
If your heart has ever whispered, “There has to be a better way,” you’ll want to tune into this episode and read this blog.
Why Today’s Parents Are Choosing Gentle Parenting; And What That Really Means.
Gentle Parenting Definition: What Is Gentle Parenting?
Consequently, gentle parenting is a relational, empathy-driven approach that prioritizes connection, emotional regulation, and respectful guidance. Moreover, it is not permissive parenting; instead, it combines clear, consistent boundaries with compassion, patience, and mutual respect.
Consequently, gentle parenting is a relational, empathy-driven approach that prioritizes connection, emotional regulation, and respectful guidance. Moreover, it is not permissive parenting; instead, it combines clear, consistent boundaries with compassion, patience, and mutual respect.
Gentle Parenting vs. Traditional Parenting
However, while traditional authoritarian styles lean on fear, shame, or punitive measures, gentle parenting leans on curiosity and collaboration. Consequently, the child’s misbehavior is seen as a skills gap, not a moral failure, so the parent coaches, models, and problem-solves. Therefore, children learn internal motivation instead of mere compliance.
“Rules may guide behavior, but relationships forever shape hearts.”
Top Reasons Parents Choose Gentle Parenting in 2025
Here is a quick look at the top reasons parents are choosing the Gentle Parenting approach:
Moreover, parents who experienced yelling or spanking often sense lingering wounds; thus, they vow to do better. Additionally, research on mindful parenting shows that co-regulation, rather than punishment, builds healthier stress-response systems in the brain.
2. Prioritizing Mental and Emotional Health
Furthermore, gentle parenting aligns with the rising awareness of childhood anxiety and trauma. Therefore, parents deliberately validate feelings before correcting actions, helping kids build real resilience.
3. Desiring Lifelong Connection Over Short-Term Control
Consequently, today’s parents ask, “Will this strategy draw my teen closer at 16?” rather than “Did she obey me at 6?” This shift from reactive to preventive strengthens family bonds.
4. Breaking Generational Cycles
Moreover, because millennials and Gen Z grew up hearing “children are seen, not heard,” they now strive to hear their children early and often, rewriting family scripts of silence into stories of safety.
A mom recently told me, “I remember one afternoon when my son melted down over a broken Lego set. In the past, I might’ve raised my voice. But instead, I knelt down and said, ‘I understand that you are really upset right now; that’s frustrating. That moment of connection turned frustration into calm.”
5. Trusting Neuroscience and Developmental Research
Indeed, brain-imaging studies confirm that calm, attuned caregiving wires prefrontal circuits responsible for self-control. Therefore, teaching emotional skills through gentle coaching sets up kids and parents for lifelong regulation.
6. Amplification Through Social Media Influence
Additionally, Instagram reels, TikTok clips, and YouTube shorts provide digestible demonstrations of gentle scripts. Consequently, parents replicate phrases like “You’re safe, I’m here” and celebrate incremental wins together online.
7. Faith-Forward Families See Biblical Alignment
Consequently, many Christian parents recognize that the fruit of the Spirit: love, patience, gentleness, and self-control—mirrors the principles of gentle parenting. Therefore, shepherding hearts through grace feels both practical and biblical.
Faith-Based Gentle Parenting: Aligning With Biblical Values
Because Scripture calls parents to “provoke not your children to wrath” (Ephesians 6:4), gentle parenting resonates. Moreover, Jesus models invitation over intimidation—“Come to Me,” not “Get it right or get out.” Consequently, when we discipline with empathy, we reflect Christ’s heart.
“Let your gentleness be evident to all” (Philippians 4:5).
Therefore, gentle parenting becomes a tangible outworking of faith, where boundaries flow from love rather than legalism.
How to Practice Gentle Parenting Daily: Simple Techniques That Work
Pause Before You Pounce: First, take a deep breath. Then, ask, “What is really happening beneath this behavior?”
Validate, Then Guide: Say, “I see you’re frustrated; meanwhile, hitting hurts.”
Offer Choices Within Limits: Use phrases like, “You may choose to walk, or I will help you walk,” to preserve dignity.
Model Emotional Language: Label your own feelings: “I’m disappointed, yet I’m still here.”
Repair Quickly When You Blow It: Why? Because humility heals, apologizing models healthy accountability.
Common Misconceptions About Gentle Parenting
Myth 1:Gentle parenting means zero consequences. However, it actually means natural or logical consequences delivered calmly.
Myth 2: Children will take advantage of gentle parents. Nevertheless, research shows children thrive when limits are clear and empathetic.
Myth 3:It takes too much time. Yet, investing in front-end effort often reduces meltdowns later, saving time overall.
Gentle Parenting Benefits Backed by Research
Moreover, studies across 100+ U.S. families have revealed that gentle parenting correlates with improved prosocial behavior and lower parental stress. Additionally, 44% of parents deliberately shift away from how they were raised, citing gentle parenting as their preferred alternative.
Consequently, children in attuned homes display stronger executive-function skills such as impulse control and flexible thinking, which, in turn, forecast academic success.
Conclusion: Embracing Gentle Parenting for a Connected Family
Ultimately, therefore, gentle parenting invites us to lead firmly and kindly, precisely the way our Heavenly Father leads us.
Moreover, choosing connection over control does not erase authority; instead, it redeems it with humility, empathy, and unwavering presence. Consequently, our children learn that mistakes are opportunities, families are safe harbors, and love never hinges on performance.
So, as you tuck your child in tonight, pause to reflect. Therefore, whisper truth, offer grace, set the boundary, and remember:
Gentle parenting isn’t passive; it’s intentional, anchored, and deeply engaged.
The sudden rise in parents seeking parenting advice makes some experts ask: Is AI the New Parenting Expert?
Would you ever trust a chatbot to help raise your kids? According to new statistics, 71% of parents are utilizing AI tools to aid in parenting decisions. The trend of AI in parenting is rising fast. Today, I will unpack: the benefits, the concerns, and what parents need to know. And research-backed truths about using AI tools.
While I am not recommending or endorsing the use of AI for parenting advice, I believe it can be helpful if used wisely.
Why Parents Are Turning to AI for Parenting Help
In today’s fast-paced, always-on world, more parents are turning to AI tools like ChatGPT to help lighten the mental load of parenting, and the reasons go far beyond mere convenience. With families juggling more responsibilities than ever, it’s no surprise they’re looking for quick, smart support.
The Rise of AI in Daily Family Life
In recent years, the rise of AI in daily family life has reshaped how parents manage their homes, routines, and relationships. Tools like ChatGPT, Alexa, and a growing number of parenting apps are stepping in as digital helpers, offering everything from meal ideas to discipline strategies at the tap of a screen.
For many families, these platforms are filling what some call the “mom gap,” easing the mental load by helping with decision-making and planning. Moreover, the appeal lies in their 24/7 accessibility and judgment-free nature. It’s a place parents can ask tough questions without fear of criticism or shame.
As AI becomes increasingly embedded in everyday parenting, it’s tempting to wonder: Are we looking at a new kind of parenting expert?
The Convenience of Instant Advice
Another reason AI is becoming a go-to parenting resource is its ability to provide instant, customized answers. Whether a mom needs a quick meal plan, a dad wants a screen time contract, or a caregiver seeks gentle discipline phrases, tools like ChatGPT respond immediately, with no wait time, appointments, or guilt. In the chaos of family life, that kind of speed feels like a gift.
Furthermore, AI tools often adapt to your preferred parenting style, offering Montessori-based ideas, positive parenting techniques, or faith-based reminders. It’s no wonder so many are wondering if AI is the new parenting expert; it meets stressed-out parents right where they are.
However, while the draw of digital parenting support is strong, it’s worth asking: can AI actually understand the essence of parenting?
What AI Gets Right About Parenting
Despite its limitations, AI has carved out a surprisingly helpful role in modern households, offering support in areas where parents often feel overwhelmed or stretched thin: meal planning, budgeting, and organizing are just a few of the ways moms find AI tools helpful.
Reducing Decision Fatigue
One of the most praised uses of AI in parenting is its ability to reduce decision fatigue. Instead of overthinking every detail—from what to pack in lunchboxes to how to respond to a tantrum—parents can offload those repetitive, low-stakes decisions to AI. This frees up precious mental energy for the moments that matter most: connection, listening, and guiding with intention.
As AI tools become more intuitive, they provide just enough structure to make parenting feel more manageable without taking over. For parents juggling the emotional weight of raising children, this small but consistent relief can feel like a lifeline.
Enhancing Learning and Connection
AI isn’t just offering practical help; it can also enhance learning and connection in family life. Apps and bots are being used to prompt emotional intelligence exercises, spark meaningful dinner table conversations, and even generate custom bedtime stories based on your child’s interests. While it’s not a replacement for prayer, scripture, and human interaction, when used with discernment, AI can create moments of engagement that deepen parent-child bonds.
Some families report that these tools offer a fresh way to connect and gain a deeper understanding of their children, especially when navigating new developmental stages or addressing unique needs. In this way, AI may not be the parenting expert, but it’s becoming a supportive sidekick in the learning journey.
The Risks of Relying Too Much on AI
While AI promises convenience and calm, the truth is that over-relying on these tools can lead to unintended consequences that impact both parents and children. There’s a caution: just because it’s helpful doesn’t mean it’s harmless.
Misinformation and Inaccuracy
However, while AI can feel like a trustworthy shortcut, it’s not always accurate, and that’s where things can get concerning.
AI tools like ChatGPT are trained on vast amounts of online content, but they don’t always filter out outdated, biased, or even dangerous information.
In parenting, where nuance matters and every child is different, one-size-fits-all responses can lead to poor decisions. There have even been documented cases where AI provided inappropriate or unsafe suggestions. This raises a critical question for parents: Can we truly call AI a parenting expert when it doesn’t always get the facts or context right?
Emotional Disconnection & Dependency
In addition to concerns about accuracy, there is a growing worry about emotional disconnection. As families increasingly rely on AI to solve problems or provide support, the subtle risk is that it replaces meaningful conversations with convenience. Children, especially teens, may start turning to bots instead of their parents for answers, missing the warmth, empathy, and guidance only a real relationship can provide.
Furthermore, parents themselves may begin to depend on AI not just for help, but also for emotional regulation, decision reassurance, or companionship. Over time, this dependence can quietly erode the essential connection between parent and child, a bond that no chatbot can replicate.
Data Privacy and Safety Concerns
Equally important is the issue of privacy, especially when AI tools are used by or around children. Many parenting apps and devices collect sensitive information, from voice recordings to behavioral data. Without strong protections, that data could be used in ways parents never intended, such as for targeted advertising or third-party analysis. Children may also interact with AI in ways that feel harmless but reveal personal information. Since kids often don’t understand boundaries around data, the responsibility falls on parents to ensure the tools they use prioritize safety. And that means being as intentional about choosing AI tools as you are about who cares for your child in real life.
Knowing these risks, it’s essential to weigh both sides and consider what researchers and child development experts honestly think about AI’s role in parenting.
What the Experts Say: AI Should Support, Not Replace, Parents God Given Discernment
With all this in mind, the best approach is to treat AI as a co-pilot in your parenting journey, not the driver. That means using AI to brainstorm meal plans or bedtime stories, but not to diagnose behavior issues or replace your instincts. When AI becomes a helpful assistant rather than a substitute decision-maker, you stay in control of the values and tone that guide your home. Ultimately, AI works best when it supports God’s Word, your voice, not when it speaks louder than you.
The Importance of Godly Wisdom, Mentors, and Parental Intuition
While technology may offer quick answers, true parenting wisdom often comes from slower, more sacred sources. Godly counsel, trusted mentors, and parental intuition play a powerful role. No algorithm can replace the discernment that comes from seeking the Lord in prayer. Or the insight gained from someone who’s walked this road before.
Wise parenting isn’t just about solving problems; it’s about shaping hearts. And shaping hearts takes time, trust, and presence. That requires more than code. It calls for character, conviction, and the quiet confidence that grows when a parent is led by faith. As helpful as AI tools may be, they must never drown out the still, small voice that says, “You were chosen to raise this child.”
You are the primary influence in your child’s life; don’t allow that high position to be replaced by AI.
How to Use AI Tools Wisely in Parenting
Instead of avoiding AI altogether or surrendering to it completely, parents can adopt a balanced and thoughtful approach that utilizes technology as a tool, rather than a threat.
Treat AI as a Co-Pilot, Not the Driver
With all this in mind, the best approach is to treat AI as a co-pilot in your parenting journey, not the driver. That means using AI to brainstorm meal plans or bedtime stories, but not to diagnose behavior issues or replace your instincts. When AI becomes a helpful assistant rather than a substitute decision-maker, you stay in control of the values and tone that guide your home. Ultimately, AI works best when it supports your voice, not when it speaks louder than you.
Keep the Parent-Child Relationship Front and Center
Finally, even as you integrate technology into family life, it’s vital to keep your connection with your child at the center. Use AI to enhance, not replace, the conversations, eye contact, and bonding that only a parent can provide. Whether it’s using a story generator to start a bedtime tradition or a chatbot to model conflict resolution, the goal isn’t to step back, but to lean in with more confidence and calm. In the end, parenting isn’t about having all the answers, but about being present, and no matter how advanced AI becomes, presence is something it can never replicate.
You are the primary influence in your child’s life; don’t allow that high position to be replaced by AI.
Summary: Is AI the New Parenting Expert?
Is AI the new parenting expert? No, it’s a new tool. With discernment, it can help parents. Without knowing how to use it wisely, it may confuse, mislead, or disconnect families from each other.
By using AI with discernment and intentionality, we don’t just protect our children, we strengthen our role as the irreplaceable, trusted guide in their lives.
What role do you want AI to play in your home, and what role will only you, as the parent, fulfill?
Can motherhood feel lighter, even joyful, in the middle of the mess and chaos of life?
You wake up already tired. The baby didn’t sleep, the toddler has opinions about everything, and the dishes are multiplying faster than the laundry. You love your kids, but on some days, the weight of motherhood feels overwhelming. If you’ve ever thought, “I can’t keep doing this like I am,” you’re not alone.
But here’s the hopeful part: Some moms aren’t just barely surviving; they’re doing well. They still face chaos and challenges, but somehow, they find peace in the midst of it. And that raises an important question: What are those moms doing differently?
According to a 2025 report highlighted by The Washington Post and backed by data from the National Center for Health Statistics, while 1 in 4 moms report poor mental health, the other 3 are doing okay. That doesn’t mean life is easy for them, but they’ve discovered small shifts that make a big difference.
Motherhood Advice That Actually Helps: 7 Habits of Thriving Moms
In this post, I’ll walk you through 7 practical, proven habits that help moms not just get by, but thrive. I’ll cover how to build support systems, set healthy boundaries, practice restorative rhythms, ask for help, redefine success, anchor your heart in biblical truth, and use simple tools that make daily life easier. These steps aren’t about doing more. They’re about living more intentionally, more peacefully, and more joyfully. And they actually help.
1. Build a Support System Helps
Moms who thrive have one thing in common: they are not doing this alone. One mom I know shared how every Thursday, her neighbor comes over for an hour so that she can shower and reset. Another found peace when she joined a small group at church where they trade babysitting and share prayer requests. These aren’t grand gestures, but they make all the difference. Whether it’s a best friend, a prayer partner, or a small group, support matters. A 2023 study in the Journal of Family Psychology confirms that perceived emotional support is one of the strongest predictors of maternal well-being.
If you don’t have that yet, don’t panic. Start small. Smile at another mom. Join a local group. Text someone you trust. It’s the slow, steady connections that become lifelines.
And while community is foundational, it’s just the beginning. Next comes protecting your peace with boundaries.
2. Set Boundaries That Guard Your Mind and Heart
Let’s be honest: boundaries can be rigid. But moms who are doing well aren’t afraid to say no to overcommitment or endless online comparison. Boundaries create margin, and margin creates rest. Rest is one key factor in helping mom thrive!
Dr. Caroline Leaf, a cognitive neuroscientist, teaches that unchecked stress rewires the brain in harmful ways. Saying no isn’t selfish; it’s protective.
One mom I coached shared that she had to set a firm bedtime for her phone, not just for her kids. “I was scrolling late at night and waking up exhausted. Once I turned off my phone at 9 p.m., I felt like I had my evenings back.”
Also, try muting accounts that leave you feeling “less than.” Give yourself permission to pause the things that steal your peace and happiness.
With some margin in place, you’ll have room to establish essential daily rhythms of rest.
3. Practice Daily Rhythms That Restore You
Moms who are thriving don’t wait for a vacation to recharge. They build rest into their daily life in small, repeatable ways. A short walk. A warm cup of tea. Deep breathing during nap time. These micro-moments matter.
Research published in BMC Women’s Health shows that even 10 minutes of intentional rest can lower cortisol levels and improve emotional regulation.
So ask yourself: What is one calming habit I can do today? Then take action!
And sometimes, the most restorative thing you can do is reach out for help.
4. Ask for Help: And Receive It With Grace
Thriving moms know they can’t do it all. And they don’t pretend to. They ask for help from their spouse, kids, friends, or professionals. That doesn’t make them weak; it makes them wise.
Yet a 2024 report by Pew Research found that nearly 60% of mothers say they feel guilty asking for help. Let’s break that cycle. Accepting support is not a failure; it’s a step toward flourishing.
Choose one area this week to delegate or share. Let someone else carry part of the load.
Once help enters the picture, something beautiful happens—you begin to redefine what success really looks like.
5. Redefine Success Through a Lens of Grace
Moms who are thriving have stopped chasing perfection. They don’t measure success by a Pinterest-worthy dinner or a spotless house. They measure it by presence, connection, and grace.
Maybe the day was messy, but you stayed patient through a tantrum. Perhaps the chores got skipped, but you snuggled during story time. That’s a win. That’s success.
You get to define what success looks like in your home. Choose grace over guilt.
Grace becomes even more powerful when it’s anchored in something eternal.
6. Stay Anchored in Biblical Truth
Faith is the cornerstone for many thriving moms. Time with God doesn’t have to be long or elaborate—just consistent. A verse on your mirror. A prayer whispered in the kitchen. A worship song while folding laundry.
“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” Isaiah 26:3. This is not just poetic. It’s a promise.
And if you’re looking for biblical wisdom and encouragement for raising teens, I encourage you to read my book, Parenting Beyond the Rules. It became a #1 Amazon Hot New Release because it meets parents where they are: honest, real, and full of hope.
Anchoring your heart spiritually prepares you to think practically about how to lighten your everyday load.
7. Simple Tools Can Make Life Easier
Moms who are thriving aren’t superhuman. They just simplify wherever they can. A weekly meal plan. A whiteboard for chores. A gratitude journal. These aren’t luxury items, they’re tools of survival and sanity.
For example, start with one: a timer for 15-minute cleanups or a checklist to reduce mental clutter. Every small system you put in place buys back a little more peace.
Final Thought: You Don’t Have to Do Everything to Change Everything
One habit. One shift. One boundary. One prayer. That’s all it takes to begin moving from weary to well.
If you’re a mom who’s felt like you’re drowning, I want you to hear this clearly: you’re not alone, and you are not behind. There are real, proven ways to move forward, and they actually help.
And if you need a guide, a cheerleader, and a voice of reason, grab a copy of Parenting Beyond the Rules. You don’t have to parent perfectly. Just parent with presence, wisdom, and grace.
Managing the Mental Load of Motherhood: How to Lighten What You’re Carrying. Before we discuss solutions, we need to identify what we’re dealing with. The mental load encompasses all the behind-the-scenes thinking that keeps your family running smoothly. It’s the grocery lists, birthday gifts, dentist appointments, shoe sizes, emotional needs, and that mental note that your child hates blue cheese.
It’s like tabs in a browser that never close.
You’re not just feeding your kids, you’re keeping track of what’s in the pantry, who has soccer at 5, and if anyone mentioned a class party tomorrow.
And here’s the kicker: this load is mostly invisible. Others benefit from it, but rarely notice it. That’s what makes it so exhausting.
The mental load isn’t only about task execution; it’s about task management. You’re the one thinking 10 steps ahead. And that level of constant preoccupation? It’s mentally and emotionally draining.
Why Does the Mental Load Weighs Mom Down
You didn’t sign up to be the household CEO, therapist, chauffeur, scheduler, and chef, but somewhere along the way, the roles just… stuck. And that isn’t a bad thing unless it gets out of balance.
And when we do speak up about it, the response we often get? “Why didn’t you just ask for help?”
But the mental load includes remembering what help to ask for. It’s not just the task; it’s the planning behind the task.
The Invisible Weight of Constant Planning
The burden isn’t just about logistics; it’s about responsibility. And when we carry the full load, it leads to some serious side effects:
Decision fatigue (You can’t even choose dinner; you’re so tapped out.)
Irritability or resentment (You love your family, but you feel invisible.)
Loss of identity (You’re “Mom” 24/7, but where did you go?)
It’s no wonder so many of us are running on empty.
But what if you didn’t have to carry it all?
How to Examine Your Mental Load
The first step toward change is awareness.
Grab a pen or open your Notes app, and list every invisible task you carry out in a week. Think broadly. From checking the weather to packing the diaper bag. From scheduling checkups to managing moods.
I promise this isn’t to overwhelm you. It’s to validate what you’re carrying.
Here’s what many moms discover during this exercise: You are doing more than you realized. And no, you’re not overreacting. You’re overloaded.
This kind of mental audit is like turning the lights on in a cluttered room. Once you can see what’s there, you can start sorting.
Now that you’ve seen it, what will you do about it?
Learn to Share the Mental Load
Let’s be honest: delegating is hard. It requires vulnerability, communication, and sometimes letting go of control. Don’t be surprised if you struggle with letting go of certain things, especially if you want to maintain control over them.
Learning to ask for help and receive it can be a game-changer in managing the mental load you are carrying.
Sharing the mental load is essential if we want to thrive as women and moms.
Talk to Your Spouse or Partner
This isn’t a blame session—it’s a clarity session.
Try saying: “I’m not asking for help with my responsibilities. I’m asking us to rethink how we share them.”
You may even want to do the mental load audit together. Sometimes, our partners don’t realize how much we’re tracking. Not because they don’t care, but because they’ve never had to carry it. Tom was busy working on his task list and didn’t realize I needed extra help.
Asking for help takes the pressure off us to carry a load that is too heavy.
Involve Your Children
Children can—and should—contribute. Not because you’re overwhelmed, but because it teaches responsibility and life skills. Whether it’s loading the dishwasher or managing their school bags, kids rise to the challenge when given the chance.
Plus, shared responsibility grows family unity. When everyone carries a little, no one crumbles under the weight
Let Go of What Isn’t Yours
This is the step that catches most moms off guard.
We assume that if something needs to be done, it must be our job to do it. But that’s not true.
Not every classroom party needs homemade cupcakes. You don’t have to respond to every email with a same-day reply. Not every child’s disappointment means you failed.
Sometimes, we carry things out of guilt, expectation, or fear of what others might think.
But here’s the truth: You are not a better mom because you do more. You’re a better mom when you do the right things with peace.
So, what can you take off your plate today?
Create Simple Systems That Serve You
Systems might sound cold and businesslike, but when done well, they free your mind.
Think of systems as tools to reduce stress and save decision-making energy.
Practical Ideas for Easing the Mental Load:
Shared family calendar (Google Calendar or a big wall one)
Daily routines (morning/evening flow for the kids)
Meal templates (Meatless Monday, Taco Tuesday)
Auto-renew prescriptions, groceries, or bills
Use checklists for school bags, bedtime, or travel
Remember: systems don’t have to be rigid. They’re here to serve you, not the other way around.
The goal isn’t perfection. It’s margin. Because when your mind isn’t cluttered, your heart has room to breathe.
Replace the Lies with Truth
The mental load is heavy not just because of the work but because of the weight of our thoughts.
We believe lies like:
“I should be able to do this.”
“If I were a better mom, I wouldn’t be so overwhelmed.”
“Asking for help means I’m weak.”
Let me speak truth over you, Mom.
You are not weak.
You are not failing.
You are doing the work of many, often without a break, often without a thank-you.
But here’s what God says:
“Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” — Matthew 11:28
You were never meant to carry all of this alone. His grace is sufficient, even for the undone laundry and forgotten library books.
The Heart of the Matter: You Matter, Too
You’re more than your lists. More than your output. More than your mental tabs.
You are a daughter of God, a woman of worth, and a mom who is doing her best even on the days you feel like you’re falling short.
Managing the mental load of motherhood isn’t about achieving balance or becoming superhuman. It’s about recognizing your limits, leaning on others, and living in grace.
The truth is that motherhood will always involve a certain level of responsibility. But it shouldn’t break you. And it doesn’t have to define you.
One Thing to Release Today
Before you go back to your day, take one simple action: Choose one thing on your list… and let it go.
Perhaps it’s a task that should be delegated. A worry to release. A standard to lower.
And if you’re ready for deeper encouragement, I invite you to listen to my podcast episode on this very topic:
Final Encouragement
From one mom to another — I see you. I’ve walked those weary days, too. You’re not alone, and there’s hope on the other side of overwhelm.
Motherhood is a high calling. But it’s not a solo mission.
Let’s stop pretending we can do it all. And start learning how to carry what truly matters together.
