In the whirlwind journey of parenthood, amidst the sleepless nights and countless diaper changes, there exists an invaluable gift that can make all the difference: community. This is why the concept of building a community of like-minded friends holds such significance in the modern parenting landscape.
We are created for relationships, yet many of us feel isolated and alone. That’s why having a community of friends can have a positive impact on every family member.
Building a community of families who share a similar vision and values provides a nurturing environment where parents and children can flourish. But it takes some effort to create the support you need to navigate the journey.
Importance of a Supportive Community for Both Parents and Children
For parents, a supportive community offers a safe space to share their joys, fears, and frustrations without fear of judgment. It’s a place where they can find empathy, advice, and practical assistance from those who understand firsthand the highs and lows of raising children.
The benefits of community extend far beyond the parents themselves. Research has consistently shown that children thrive in environments where they feel connected and supported. And a community of like-minded friends helps kids grow and mature. A strong community provides children with opportunities for social interaction, emotional development, and the cultivation of important life skills.
The Purpose of Building a Community of Friends
By bringing together families who share similar values, beliefs, and parenting philosophies, we create an environment for meaningful connections to encourage us. Whether bonding over shared hobbies, holiday traditions, or common goals for our children’s futures, like-minded parents can provide a sense of belonging and solidarity that is both comforting and empowering.
The Purpose of Building a Community of Friends
The purpose of building a community of like-minded parents is to create a supportive community where parents and children alike can thrive. It’s about forging connections, fostering empathy, and building a friend group that nurtures and supports each member as they navigate the beautiful, messy, and endlessly rewarding adventure of parenthood.
Friends are like seasons; they change over time. Some are part of our lives for a season, others a lifetime.
The Seasons of Friendships
As I reflect on something my mother-in-law wrote when she was in her twenties, I realize that friends have different roles in our lives. I was also reminded of the friends who have been part of my life. I am awed by their differences, but each friend has left a mark on my heart.
You’ll have friends who pray with you, laugh with you, cry with you, and grow with you over the years, forging bonds that transcend the passage of time.
As I watch my own children navigate the landscape of friendship, I am reminded of the profound impact that these connections have on their young lives. From the giggles shared with their playground pals to the heartfelt conversations exchanged with their closest confidants, each friendship plays a vital role in shaping their identities and enriching their experiences.
Whether a friend is here for a season or a lifetime, each friend adds meaning and value to our lives. They leave behind a legacy of love and laughter that will endure for generations to come. So, let us cherish those like-minded friends who bring joy, comfort, and companionship into our lives.
We need to teach our children that friends bind us all together.
I’m so tired of other moms putting down, marginalizing, and mocking moms. Moms deserve better. Raising children is hard work. We should be uplifting moms at every turn. It’s time to stop mom-shaming! Mom-shaming perpetuates feelings of guilt, inadequacy, and isolation among mothers, creating unnecessary pressure to conform to societal expectations and ideals.
When I was a younger mom, I constantly felt scrutinized by other moms. Even though I tried my best, I still felt like it wasn’t enough. It was like being in a never-ending game of “Parenting Olympics,” where every decision, from breastfeeding to screen time limits, was up for judgment. Let’s face it: we’ve all felt that pang of insecurity when another mom’s Pinterest-perfect life seems light-years away from our own chaos.
But here’s the thing: motherhood isn’t about perfection; it’s about love, resilience, and the messy beauty of raising tiny humans. So what if dinner is occasionally takeout instead of a gourmet masterpiece? Or if your laundry pile could rival Mount Everest? We’re doing the best we can, and that’s more than enough.
What is Mom-Shaming?
Mom-shaming refers to the act of criticizing or judging mothers for their parenting choices, behaviors, or decisions. It often involves unsolicited commentary or scrutiny from others, including family members, friends, strangers, or even media outlets, regarding a mother’s approach to child-rearing. Mom-shaming can take various forms, ranging from subtle remarks to outright condemnation, and it can have detrimental effects on a mother’s self-esteem, confidence, and mental well-being.
So, the next time you feel tempted to judge another mom for her parenting choices, take a moment to pause and reflect. Remember that behind every tired smile is a warrior fighting battles you may know nothing about. Let’s lift each other up, cheer each other on, and create a community where mom-shaming has no place.
The list of reasons moms are shamed by others is numerous.
Why are Moms Shamed by Others?
Examples of mom-shaming include:
Breastfeeding vs. Formula Feeding: Moms may face criticism for their choice to breastfeed or formula-feed their babies. Those who breastfeed might encounter judgment for nursing in public, while mothers who opt for formula may be accused of prioritizing convenience over their child’s health.
Stay-at-Home Moms vs. Working Moms: Mothers who choose to stay at home to care for their children may face criticism for not contributing to the workforce, while working moms may be judged for not spending enough time with their children or for prioritizing their careers over family.
Parenting Styles: Differences in parenting styles can also lead to mom-shaming. For example, mothers who practice attachment parenting might be criticized for being too permissive, while those who adopt more disciplinary approaches might be labeled as overly strict or authoritarian.
Screen Time and Technology Use: Some moms may face scrutiny for allowing their children to spend too much time on electronic devices or for not closely monitoring their screen time. Others may be judged for being too restrictive or for not embracing technology as a learning tool.
Appearance and Self-Care: Mothers may be criticized for their appearance, weight, or fashion choices, with society often imposing unrealistic beauty standards on moms. They may also face judgment for prioritizing self-care activities, such as going to the gym or taking time for hobbies, instead of solely focusing on their children.
While these comparisons are common, that doesn’t make them right. If we stopped and thought before we spoke, we could save other moms a heap of hurt and frustration. The Lord wants us to build each other up with our words and actions.
Embrace Imperfection and Celebrate Differences
You are unique, one-of-a-kind, original. God made you the mom you are and gave you the children you have. So, instead of comparing ourselves to some unattainable standard of motherhood, let’s celebrate our differences and embrace the glorious messiness of it all. Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom, a working mom, or a mix of both, your journey is uniquely yours, and it deserves to be honored.
Let’s remember: As moms, we often carry the weight of the world on our shoulders, juggling countless responsibilities while trying to keep it all together. Yet, despite our best efforts, we find ourselves facing criticism and judgment from all directions. It’s time to reject the notion that we have to fit into some mold of “perfect” motherhood. We are imperfectly perfect just as we are, and our differences make us strong. Let’s lift each other up; knowing that the Lord wants us to teach and train our children in the way they should go is what truly matters. Together, we can create a community where mom-shaming has no place and where empathy and understanding are the motivating factors. So, to all the moms out there, be confident, embrace your unique journey, and know that you are enough, just as you are.
References and Links
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Proverbs 31:26-28 (NIV): “She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.”
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Discover the perfect companion for your spiritual journey with our 30-day guided prayer journal from Connie Albers at Equipped To Be. This journal is designed to help you cultivate an intentional prayer life and deepen your relationship with the Lord.
Each page gently guides you through self-reflection and growth, focusing uniquely on your faith, family, and community. Embrace this opportunity to strengthen your spiritual practice and connect more meaningfully with God.
Welcome to our cozy corner of the podcast world, where I discuss the heart of strengthening families with honesty and wisdom. I’ve received several requests from listeners asking me about teaching life skills to children. I put together a topic close to every parent’s heart: teaching children life skills. This week, I share 5 skills parents must teach children. While there are more than five, the five I list are non-negotiable in nurturing well-rounded, happy children.
In an ever-changing and challenging world, teaching your kids about self-control, compassion, consistency, collaboration, and celebration isn’t just beneficial—it’s essential. Join me as I share the 5 Cs parents must teach children. Whether you’re a new parent or trying to navigate the teen years, these truths will help you lay a foundation for a future where your children not only make wise choices but also contribute to it with their unique personalities.
Teaching Self-Control
Think of self-control as a muscle that gets stronger with every use. To build this muscle in your children, begin by guiding them to recognize and name their emotions, reinforcing that it’s perfectly normal to feel everything from anger to excitement.
Introduce them to easy, calming techniques—like taking deep breaths or counting to ten—when they’re swamped by big feelings. Teach them the power of pausing to consider their actions before jumping in. Lead by example, showing self-control in your own actions, and don’t forget to celebrate their successes in managing their impulses. It’s all about taking small steps forward, celebrating progress over perfection.
Teaching Compassion
Compassion is about stepping into someone else’s shoes and feeling with them. Guide your child to sprinkle acts of kindness wherever they go, from lending a hand to a friend to showing love to their pets. Teach your child to actively listen and validate other’s emotions without judgment. Remind them that showing compassion not only benefits others but also brings joy and fulfillment to their own lives.
Teaching Consistency
Consistency is key to building habits and achieving goals. Parents must establish clear expectations and routines for their children, such as bedtime rituals or homework schedules. Be consistent in enforcing rules and consequences, but also provide flexibility for adaptation and growth. Help your child set realistic goals and break them down into manageable steps. Celebrate their progress along the way and encourage perseverance in the face of challenges.
Teaching Collaboration
While learning self-control, compassion, and consistency are important life skills, teaching children to collaborate can impact every aspect of their lives, from school projects to lifelong relationships. Steering children towards team-based activities, where they’ll learn to share their toys and not insist on getting their way, highlights the value of considering other perspectives and chasing shared ambitions. Don’t forget to show them how to celebrate their team spirit and jointly celebrate victories, big and small.
Learning to Celebrate
Imagine your child has poured their heart into piano practice for months and finally takes the stage for their first recital. Instead of solely focusing on their own performance or comparing themselves to others, encourage them to cheer for their fellow musicians. Celebrate not only your child’s hard work and dedication but also the achievements of their peers. Host a small gathering where everyone can share in the joy of each other’s performances, fostering a supportive and uplifting atmosphere. By teaching your child to cheer for others, you instill empathy, kindness, and a sense of community, nurturing their social skills and enriching their overall development.
Teaching kids these 5 Skills: Self-Control, Compassion, Collaboration, Consistency, and Celebration—is an investment in their future happiness and success. By nurturing these essential life skills, we equip our children to navigate challenges, build meaningful relationships, and thrive in a rapidly changing world. So, let’s lead by example, cultivate a nurturing environment, and cheer our children on every step of the way.
It might not seem like your efforts are working, but they are. Remember, God tells us not to grow weary in well-doing. You have years to teach these skills to your children.
Thank you for tuning in to Equipped To Be. Until next time, keep parenting with love and intention.
Is it possible to have full healing after marital infidelity? That’s the question I’m asking my guests, Phil and Priscilla Fretwell. We have a transparent conversation about how, after twenty-eight years of betrayal and infidelity, God put a shattered marriage back together.
Hiding Behind Perfection
When we live a life in secrecy, we often put on the appearance of perfection. Hiding behind perfection can inflict profound damage, both internally and externally. On a personal level, the relentless pursuit of flawlessness often leads to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and self-doubt as individuals strive to maintain an unattainable facade. This constant pressure to appear faultless can erode one’s sense of self-worth and authenticity.
The illusion of perfection can strain relationships, breeding resentment and mistrust as loved ones struggle to connect with someone who seems untouchable. Ultimately, the damage wrought by hiding behind perfection extends beyond the individual, permeating the fabric of their relationships and corroding the foundation of genuine human connection.
Healing can’t begin without pulling back the curtain and being honest and transparent with your spouse.
Full Healing Starts with Transparency
God sends us a lifeline to get through the broken trust, anger, and disbelief. “Whatever It Takes Ministries” is a lifeline many couples use to get through the shame, guilt, and pain of infidelity.
I don’t believe it’s possible to achieve freedom and healing without the help of the Lord, humility, commitment, and spiritual intimacy. You must run to the pain, not away from it.
I pray you will be encouraged by this episode! ~Connie
About Phil and Priscilla Fretwell
Phil and Priscilla Fretwell are the co-founders of Savage Marriage Ministries, equipping couples to overcome wounds of their past to find forgiveness, experience freedom, and embrace hope for the future. They are also authors of Savage Marriage: Triumph over Betrayal and Sexual Addiction and Savage Marriage Small Group Study Guide: Overcome Your Past. Fight for Your Future.
