I’m so tired of other moms putting down, marginalizing, and mocking moms. Moms deserve better. Raising children is hard work. We should be uplifting moms at every turn. It’s time to stop mom-shaming! Mom-shaming perpetuates feelings of guilt, inadequacy, and isolation among mothers, creating unnecessary pressure to conform to societal expectations and ideals.
When I was a younger mom, I constantly felt scrutinized by other moms. Even though I tried my best, I still felt like it wasn’t enough. It was like being in a never-ending game of “Parenting Olympics,” where every decision, from breastfeeding to screen time limits, was up for judgment. Let’s face it: we’ve all felt that pang of insecurity when another mom’s Pinterest-perfect life seems light-years away from our own chaos.
But here’s the thing: motherhood isn’t about perfection; it’s about love, resilience, and the messy beauty of raising tiny humans. So what if dinner is occasionally takeout instead of a gourmet masterpiece? Or if your laundry pile could rival Mount Everest? We’re doing the best we can, and that’s more than enough.
What is Mom-Shaming?
Mom-shaming refers to the act of criticizing or judging mothers for their parenting choices, behaviors, or decisions. It often involves unsolicited commentary or scrutiny from others, including family members, friends, strangers, or even media outlets, regarding a mother’s approach to child-rearing. Mom-shaming can take various forms, ranging from subtle remarks to outright condemnation, and it can have detrimental effects on a mother’s self-esteem, confidence, and mental well-being.
So, the next time you feel tempted to judge another mom for her parenting choices, take a moment to pause and reflect. Remember that behind every tired smile is a warrior fighting battles you may know nothing about. Let’s lift each other up, cheer each other on, and create a community where mom-shaming has no place.
The list of reasons moms are shamed by others is numerous.
Why are Moms Shamed by Others?
Examples of mom-shaming include:
Breastfeeding vs. Formula Feeding: Moms may face criticism for their choice to breastfeed or formula-feed their babies. Those who breastfeed might encounter judgment for nursing in public, while mothers who opt for formula may be accused of prioritizing convenience over their child’s health.
Stay-at-Home Moms vs. Working Moms: Mothers who choose to stay at home to care for their children may face criticism for not contributing to the workforce, while working moms may be judged for not spending enough time with their children or for prioritizing their careers over family.
Parenting Styles: Differences in parenting styles can also lead to mom-shaming. For example, mothers who practice attachment parenting might be criticized for being too permissive, while those who adopt more disciplinary approaches might be labeled as overly strict or authoritarian.
Screen Time and Technology Use: Some moms may face scrutiny for allowing their children to spend too much time on electronic devices or for not closely monitoring their screen time. Others may be judged for being too restrictive or for not embracing technology as a learning tool.
Appearance and Self-Care: Mothers may be criticized for their appearance, weight, or fashion choices, with society often imposing unrealistic beauty standards on moms. They may also face judgment for prioritizing self-care activities, such as going to the gym or taking time for hobbies, instead of solely focusing on their children.
While these comparisons are common, that doesn’t make them right. If we stopped and thought before we spoke, we could save other moms a heap of hurt and frustration. The Lord wants us to build each other up with our words and actions.
Embrace Imperfection and Celebrate Differences
You are unique, one-of-a-kind, original. God made you the mom you are and gave you the children you have. So, instead of comparing ourselves to some unattainable standard of motherhood, let’s celebrate our differences and embrace the glorious messiness of it all. Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom, a working mom, or a mix of both, your journey is uniquely yours, and it deserves to be honored.
Let’s remember: As moms, we often carry the weight of the world on our shoulders, juggling countless responsibilities while trying to keep it all together. Yet, despite our best efforts, we find ourselves facing criticism and judgment from all directions. It’s time to reject the notion that we have to fit into some mold of “perfect” motherhood. We are imperfectly perfect just as we are, and our differences make us strong. Let’s lift each other up; knowing that the Lord wants us to teach and train our children in the way they should go is what truly matters. Together, we can create a community where mom-shaming has no place and where empathy and understanding are the motivating factors. So, to all the moms out there, be confident, embrace your unique journey, and know that you are enough, just as you are.
References and Links
The following may contain affiliate links.
Proverbs 31:26-28 (NIV): “She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.”
If you find this podcast helpful, please subscribe and leave a review. It’s a great way to support the show and only takes a few seconds. Thank you ~Connie
Have a Question or Want to Book Connie to Speak?
If you have a question about how to handle your thoughts and emotions, email me here. We are happy to help.
Discover the perfect companion for your spiritual journey with our 30-day guided prayer journal from Connie Albers at Equipped To Be. This journal is designed to help you cultivate an intentional prayer life and deepen your relationship with the Lord.
Each page gently guides you through self-reflection and growth, focusing uniquely on your faith, family, and community. Embrace this opportunity to strengthen your spiritual practice and connect more meaningfully with God.
Welcome to our cozy corner of the podcast world, where I discuss the heart of strengthening families with honesty and wisdom. I’ve received several requests from listeners asking me about teaching life skills to children. I put together a topic close to every parent’s heart: teaching children life skills. This week, I share 5 skills parents must teach children. While there are more than five, the five I list are non-negotiable in nurturing well-rounded, happy children.
In an ever-changing and challenging world, teaching your kids about self-control, compassion, consistency, collaboration, and celebration isn’t just beneficial—it’s essential. Join me as I share the 5 Cs parents must teach children. Whether you’re a new parent or trying to navigate the teen years, these truths will help you lay a foundation for a future where your children not only make wise choices but also contribute to it with their unique personalities.
Teaching Self-Control
Think of self-control as a muscle that gets stronger with every use. To build this muscle in your children, begin by guiding them to recognize and name their emotions, reinforcing that it’s perfectly normal to feel everything from anger to excitement.
Introduce them to easy, calming techniques—like taking deep breaths or counting to ten—when they’re swamped by big feelings. Teach them the power of pausing to consider their actions before jumping in. Lead by example, showing self-control in your own actions, and don’t forget to celebrate their successes in managing their impulses. It’s all about taking small steps forward, celebrating progress over perfection.
Teaching Compassion
Compassion is about stepping into someone else’s shoes and feeling with them. Guide your child to sprinkle acts of kindness wherever they go, from lending a hand to a friend to showing love to their pets. Teach your child to actively listen and validate other’s emotions without judgment. Remind them that showing compassion not only benefits others but also brings joy and fulfillment to their own lives.
Teaching Consistency
Consistency is key to building habits and achieving goals. Parents must establish clear expectations and routines for their children, such as bedtime rituals or homework schedules. Be consistent in enforcing rules and consequences, but also provide flexibility for adaptation and growth. Help your child set realistic goals and break them down into manageable steps. Celebrate their progress along the way and encourage perseverance in the face of challenges.
Teaching Collaboration
While learning self-control, compassion, and consistency are important life skills, teaching children to collaborate can impact every aspect of their lives, from school projects to lifelong relationships. Steering children towards team-based activities, where they’ll learn to share their toys and not insist on getting their way, highlights the value of considering other perspectives and chasing shared ambitions. Don’t forget to show them how to celebrate their team spirit and jointly celebrate victories, big and small.
Learning to Celebrate
Imagine your child has poured their heart into piano practice for months and finally takes the stage for their first recital. Instead of solely focusing on their own performance or comparing themselves to others, encourage them to cheer for their fellow musicians. Celebrate not only your child’s hard work and dedication but also the achievements of their peers. Host a small gathering where everyone can share in the joy of each other’s performances, fostering a supportive and uplifting atmosphere. By teaching your child to cheer for others, you instill empathy, kindness, and a sense of community, nurturing their social skills and enriching their overall development.
Teaching kids these 5 Skills: Self-Control, Compassion, Collaboration, Consistency, and Celebration—is an investment in their future happiness and success. By nurturing these essential life skills, we equip our children to navigate challenges, build meaningful relationships, and thrive in a rapidly changing world. So, let’s lead by example, cultivate a nurturing environment, and cheer our children on every step of the way.
It might not seem like your efforts are working, but they are. Remember, God tells us not to grow weary in well-doing. You have years to teach these skills to your children.
Thank you for tuning in to Equipped To Be. Until next time, keep parenting with love and intention.
Is it possible to have full healing after marital infidelity? That’s the question I’m asking my guests, Phil and Priscilla Fretwell. We have a transparent conversation about how, after twenty-eight years of betrayal and infidelity, God put a shattered marriage back together.
Hiding Behind Perfection
When we live a life in secrecy, we often put on the appearance of perfection. Hiding behind perfection can inflict profound damage, both internally and externally. On a personal level, the relentless pursuit of flawlessness often leads to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and self-doubt as individuals strive to maintain an unattainable facade. This constant pressure to appear faultless can erode one’s sense of self-worth and authenticity.
The illusion of perfection can strain relationships, breeding resentment and mistrust as loved ones struggle to connect with someone who seems untouchable. Ultimately, the damage wrought by hiding behind perfection extends beyond the individual, permeating the fabric of their relationships and corroding the foundation of genuine human connection.
Healing can’t begin without pulling back the curtain and being honest and transparent with your spouse.
Full Healing Starts with Transparency
God sends us a lifeline to get through the broken trust, anger, and disbelief. “Whatever It Takes Ministries” is a lifeline many couples use to get through the shame, guilt, and pain of infidelity.
I don’t believe it’s possible to achieve freedom and healing without the help of the Lord, humility, commitment, and spiritual intimacy. You must run to the pain, not away from it.
I pray you will be encouraged by this episode! ~Connie
About Phil and Priscilla Fretwell
Phil and Priscilla Fretwell are the co-founders of Savage Marriage Ministries, equipping couples to overcome wounds of their past to find forgiveness, experience freedom, and embrace hope for the future. They are also authors of Savage Marriage: Triumph over Betrayal and Sexual Addiction and Savage Marriage Small Group Study Guide: Overcome Your Past. Fight for Your Future.
How do you handle the storms of life? This week, I focus on “Embracing Storms Not Chasing Them,” where my guest, Tracy Smoak, and I explore how life’s challenges can become stepping stones rather than stumbling blocks. In today’s episode, we discuss the idea of embracing storms and how God uses these difficult moments as catalysts for growth and progress. We’ll particularly focus on three positive ways that God utilizes storms for our good.
The Purpose of Embracing Storms Not Chasing Them
Often, we find ourselves caught in the midst of life’s storms, struggling to navigate through the chaos. However, it’s essential to recognize that these storms serve a purpose in our lives.
God allows storms to enter our lives not to destroy us but to strengthen and refine us. They are opportunities for growth and transformation.
By embracing the storms, we can discover valuable lessons, develop resilience, and deepen our faith in God’s provision and guidance.
Finding Strength in Embracing Storms
One positive way that God uses storms for our good is by building resilience within us. Just as a tree’s roots grow stronger when faced with strong winds, our character can deepen and strengthen through adversity.
In the midst of the storm, we have the opportunity to tap into inner reservoirs of strength and courage that we may not have known existed.
Through these challenging experiences, we learn to rely on God’s strength and find comfort in His presence, knowing that we are never alone.
Uncovereing Hidden Blessings of Embracing Storms
Another way that God uses storms for our good is by revealing hidden blessings amidst the chaos. In the darkest moments, there are often truths waiting to be discovered.
Storms have a way of stripping away the distractions and illusions in our lives, allowing us to refocus on what truly matters.
As we navigate through the storm, we may uncover unexpected blessings, such as deeper relationships, newfound purpose, or a renewed sense of gratitude. The Lord often uses tests and trials to teach us to trust in Him.
As we navigate through life’s storms, may we learn to embrace them with courage and faith, knowing that God is working all things together for our good. It will be messy and hard, but you aren’t alone. Take the time to use them as “leaning” lessons. Leaning on the One who will never leave or forsake you.
By finding strength in adversity, uncovering hidden blessings, and growing through surrender, we can move forward with hope and resilience, ready to embrace whatever storms may come our way.
About Tracy Smoak
A native Floridian, Tracy L. Smoak grew up riding horses and climbing citrus trees. Her passion is to encourage others in their faith journey. Smoak contributes to Guideposts. Ambassador International released her debut novel, Who Brought the Dog to Church?. Bold Vision published her Bible study about encouragement titled Refuge of Grace: Finding Your Safe Place. She authored several books, three with her original color photography, and holds a master’s of education. Also, check out her weekly blog posts, which drop on Saturday.
