It’s that time of year when we receive end of the year test results or portfolio reviews stating, in print, how our children are doing. This means excitement for a job well done for some and anxiety for those whose kids did not do so well.
One phase I hear often is, “My child is performing ahead of grade level!” How many times have your heard that phrase uttered in conversations by well-meaning moms? My guess is more often than you can count. As a matter of fact, I too have spoken them publicly a time or two.
Understandably, Moms feel a sense of pride when their child excels and they want to share this good news. Sometimes we share because validation is needed for a job well done. Goodness knows a homeschool mom doesn’t usually get many pats on the back. It’s not likely that the kids will say good job.
I remember times when some of my children did really well and others didn’t. I learned early on how my words, innocent as they were, could cause others to doubt their own ability to teach or their child’s ability to learn. That was troubling to me as that wasn’t my intent.
What happens to the mom who has a child that is not performing at grade level? Their child is well, average or worse below average. The pressure she feels can create anxiety. This internal stress can begin a downward spiral for both the parent and child if not properly thought through.
Here are couple principles to think about regardless of what your child’s results are:
Ever wonder what your kids would tell a college professor about their homeschooling journey? Well, I found out what my daughter had to say after she submitted this paper for her ENC 1101.31 class when she was just a freshman at the university she attended.
October 10, 2006
Does “Home” + “School” = Freak?
What comes to mind when the words “home” and “school” are combined? Is homeschooling really just schooling at home? For many, it has quite a negative connotation, often rendering poor assumptions. People may think, “Does the kid have a social life, and is he/she even socially acceptable? How can they be challenged in that environment?” Often, the younger generation’s statements don’t differ much, “Wouldn’t the kid be bored all the time? How can he/she stand to be around their family all day every day? What about sports? Are they all nerds?” How might I know this? I was homeschooled, and while a few depictions of us may be true, some families, like my own, have put an entirely new twist on the concept.
Let me just begin by saying that, no, homeschooler’s aren’t always stereotyped. But since the lifestyle can be such a mystery for public and private school children, often it leaves room for some interesting and somewhat humorous responses. Every time I was asked growing up, “Where do you go to school?” I almost immediately felt like an alien when I saw the utter confusion on the kid’s faces at my reply. It’s not that I cared so much, I actually loved homeschooling, but I did find it more and more frustrating to explain as I got older. All thirteen years of my education, prior to college, were spent at my home; thirteen years I wouldn’t trade for any other experience.
It’s always fun putting together a wedding: the excitement & anticipation of this day, the preparation, the nerves as the couple scurries about finalizing all the details.
Then all at once the music begins; it’s time. A sense of calmness overcomes the nerves. The groom enters, and his face is so expressive. There is a longing to see his bride as he shifts his weight from side to side, trying to remember not to put his hands in his pockets.
The music changes, and the bride is just waiting for that moment. The moment they both have been waiting for for a long time.
Suddenly, the doors open while the guests rise in honor of the bride.
She enters the room, stunning, and headed straight toward her groom. The glow that radiates from her makes all observers smile.
Dad is holding back the tears, knowing he is giving his precious daughter away to a man, that was instructed, rather sternly, to take good care of his little girl. He realizes he will no longer be charged with protecting and providing for his sweet princess. In just a few minutes, that transition will take place. The emotions run high. She is going to something, he is having to let go, and we are all watching this unfold.
Why can’t we all just get along? That’s a question I’m sure we’ve all wrestled with time and time again. Well, truth is, we can! God provided the greatest model for us through is His Son, and when we take a look at how Christ lived and worked among the people you will see common characteristics.
So exactly how do we go about obtaining unity? By practicing these 3 principles.
Remember the common goal. Understanding there is a common goal allows us to focus on what we are really trying to accomplish, not on who came up the solution. By outlining what the real goal is helps everyone involved in the decision making process. It is also important to create the mindset of one team trying to get something done. Not two teams competing against each other. Once the later takes hold hard feelings and togetherness are lost.
Listen to others. When we purpose to put others first we tend to listen more to their ideas. This shows respect and value to them. In dealing with situations we tend to think our approach is the best. Why? That’s easy, because it make sense to us. That in turn, causes us to forget others might come up with a different solution or even have a better plan.
Be slow to speak. This one is crucial. It is really the key to unity. In scripture we are reminded a wise man holds his tongue but a fool blurts out. By simply holding your tongue provides time to process the information being shared. When passion, knowledge and insight are bubbling inside we naturally want to speak out, but if not properly filtered that wisdom can fall on deaf ears. Making the distinction between exchanging ideas and deflating or attacking others can also play a role in how information is shared and received.
Do you have a mentor? Do you have someone that you are currently mentoring?
People often ask me how important are mentors? My answer, very important.
The concept of mentorship is nothing new. Even though the titles have changed over time, the practice has been around for as long as we know, and for good reason!
A mentor’s goal is to help you take the next step with confidence. The best form of mentoring exists without the expectation of what the mentor might get in return.
Over the years I have had several mentors; they have been women I have both observed, listened to, and witnessed the results of their work. Whether it was for professional development, gaining business savvy, learning to be a wife and mother, or maintaining overall balance in life, they were there for me freely sharing their insight, knowledge and wisdom.
Each of my mentors have this common motive: to listen, encourage, and share their knowledge with me (without expectation or hidden agenda). They impacted my life forever, and consequently the lives of my children.
