I think we can all agree—these last few years haven’t been easy. We’ve all felt it, haven’t we? Holding Onto Hope can seem difficult. The weight of the world is pressing down, the uncertainty creeping in with every news report, the way it feels like we’re all just holding our breath, waiting for the next disaster. It’s a lot. And if you’re feeling overwhelmed, discouraged, or maybe even scared, you’re not alone. I’m right there with you.
There’s something so human about wanting to protect the people we love from the chaos of the world, but what do we do when the world feels like it’s falling apart? How do we keep going when everything feels like too much? I don’t have all the answers, but I do believe this: even during the most challenging storms, there is still hope. There has to be.
Join me for a conversation about how to hold onto hope and find peace in turbulent times.
Feeling the Weight of the World
Let’s just start by acknowledging the truth: everything feels heavy right now. It’s not just in your head. You’ve been carrying so much, and it’s okay to admit it’s hard. Sometimes, we’re afraid to say it out loud because it feels like if we do, the weight might finally crush us. But the opposite is true—when we speak our fears, worries, and sadness, we begin to take away their power.
It’s okay to feel what you’re feeling. And it’s okay to take a moment to say, “This is hard.” Because it is hard, you’re human. You’re not supposed to be able to handle all of this without feeling it. And you’re not alone in carrying it.
Turning Toward What You Can Control
When the world feels like it’s spinning out of control, one of the most powerful things we can do is focus on the small things we can control. I know it might not seem like much, but the most minor actions can help us feel grounded in times of chaos. Maybe it’s making your bed in the morning or taking a few moments of quiet with your coffee. Perhaps it’s choosing to turn off the news for a while and let your heart rest.
These small acts remind us that we still have agency and that we can still choose peace even when everything around us feels chaotic.
Finding Peace in the Present Moment
I know it’s tempting to worry about tomorrow, next week, or even next year, especially when the future feels so uncertain. But here’s the thing: all we truly have is right now. This moment. And if we can learn to come back to the present, even just for a few minutes, we can find a little peace amidst the storm.
Try this with me—take a deep breath, hold it for a second, and slowly let it out. Do that a few more times. Close your eyes if you want to. Feel your feet on the ground; feel the air filling your lungs. This moment, right now, is where you are. You are safe. You are loved. The world might be chaotic, but in this moment, you are okay.
Leaning On Others
When life feels too heavy, it’s natural to want to retreat, to pull away from people. But that’s when we need community the most. We need to lean on each other to remind ourselves that we don’t have to do this alone. Maybe it’s reaching out to a friend or sharing a meal with someone you love. Maybe it’s just sending a text that says, “I’m struggling today. Can we talk?”
We weren’t meant to carry this burden alone. And when we share it with others, it gets just a little bit lighter. We find strength in those connections, even when everything else feels like it’s falling apart.
Holding Onto Hope
I won’t lie to you—there are days when hope feels distant. But I’ve also found that hope has a way of showing up when we least expect it. Sometimes, it’s in a kind word from a friend, a quiet moment of reflection, or the beauty of a sunrise after a long night. Hope is what keeps us going, even when we don’t know what the future holds.
Desmond Tutu once said, “Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.” And I believe that with all my heart. Even when things feel hopeless, light is still there, waiting to be found.
A Final Word on Holding Onto Hope
I want to remind you of something important: you are strong. You’ve carried so much already, and while I wish I could tell you the hard times are over, what I can tell you is this—you are not alone. We are in this together. And together, we will get through it.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed today, take a breath. Feel the ground beneath your feet. Reach out to someone you trust. And remember, even in the midst of chaos, peace is possible. It might not come all at once, but it comes in moments—moments where we choose love over fear, hope over despair, connection over isolation.
Albert Einstein said, “Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.” Understanding ourselves, our emotions, and the people around us is where peace begins. So let’s keep seeking it together.
Wrapping Up Holding Onto Hope
In an increasingly overwhelming world, it’s easy to feel the weight of disasters, unrest, and political turmoil. This blog acknowledges that heaviness and offers heartfelt advice on how to find peace amidst the chaos. We can find moments of peace by focusing on what we can control, grounding ourselves in the present, leaning on others, and holding onto hope. The blog’s message is simple: you are not alone; together, we will get through these difficult times. It emphasizes the importance of understanding ourselves and others as the foundation for peace.
Quote: "Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding." — Albert Einstein
Scripture for Holding Onto Hope:
Jeremiah 29:11"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Isaiah 41:10"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Psalm 46:1"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble."
Philippians 4:6-7"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
2 Corinthians 4:16-18"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
Lamentations 3:22-23"Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."
Romans 15:13"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
1 Peter 5:7"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
Joshua 1:9"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
Matthew 11:28-30"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Do you need to Kindle Your Spark? Some might say they would like to (re)kindle their spark. With the demands of everyday life, we can often feel like what we once had has all but disappeared. If you feel this way, I want to let you know you aren't alone.
Today, my friend, Rachel Marie Martin and I discuss how to Kindle Your Spark. We want you to look in the mirror and not wonder, "Where did I go?" It's true life is busy, but we don't have to feel poured out and empty. The dreams, hopes, and joy we longed for back in the day don't die. We can reignite that inner fire we often lose as moms.
Join us for an honest conversation about how to reignite that inner fire within.
Why Do We Lose Our Spark
Moms are the heart of the home. We’re caregivers, problem solvers, chauffeurs, chefs, and a million other things. But while meeting everyone else’s needs, we often forget about our own. The spark dims as we trade our dreams for endless to-do lists, and we start to believe that who we are now is who we’ll always be—tired, worn-out, and lost. Or we lose our identity by replacing it with I'm a mom, wife, daughter, or ____________. But you and I both know there’s more to the story. We are more than what we do or the titles we wear.
Give Yourself Time to Find Yourself
When was the last time you did something just for you? I’m not talking about the two-minute coffee break while the kids are napping. I mean carving out real time for yourself to reflect on what brings you joy and lights up your soul. I know it’s hard. And now I'm watching my daughter and daughter-in-love struggle to get any break with a toddler and newborn underfoot.
Life is busy, and you’re needed by so many people. But finding yourself again isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. You are more than the roles you fill every day.
Allow yourself space to dream again, to rediscover the passions that made you feel alive before life got so complicated. It won’t happen overnight, but little by little, you’ll start to see glimpses of the person you were and, more importantly, the person you’re becoming.
Remove the Regulators That Eliminate Possibilites
You know those little voices that say, “You can’t,” “You’re too old,” or “It’s too late”? Yeah, those. They’re regulators—limiters that keep you from taking any action towards your goals. They tell you that what you desire isn’t possible. But those thoughts and feelings aren't always accurate.
Remove those mental barriers. Replace them with, “What if?” What if you allowed yourself to pursue that dream, no matter how big or small? What if you stopped limiting yourself based on what you think you’re capable of and instead just tried? The truth is, you’ll never know what’s possible until you start removing the limits you’ve placed on yourself.
Fight for Your Story
Mom, your story is still being written. You’ve gone through hard things, and yes, maybe your spark has dimmed along the way. But that doesn’t mean the story ends here. You have a choice: You can let life's challenges steal your light, or you can fight for your story—fight to find the woman inside of you who refuses to give up.
It’s not always easy. Some days, it feels downright impossible. But you’re not alone in this. We’re in this together, fighting for our stories, fighting for the lives we want, and fighting to show up as the women we know we’re meant to be. May I add that you can be a fabulous wife and mom and still keep the fire of who you are alive?
Be Willing to Be Vulnerable
And here’s the final key: vulnerability. Let go of the idea that you have to have it all together all the time. That’s just a lie we tell ourselves. The truth is, it’s in those raw, vulnerable moments that we connect with others and with ourselves the most. Be honest about where you are. It’s okay to say, “I’m struggling,” or “I don’t know who I am right now.” Vulnerability doesn’t make you weak—it makes you brave! I've seen too many people portray perfection only to crash when life gets blurry.
When you let yourself be seen, truly seen, you open the door for healing, growth, and transformation. You’ll find your spark again, not by pretending everything is perfect, but by embracing the mess and still choosing to show up.
You Are Worth Fighting For
So today, we asking you to do one thing: fight for your spark. Give yourself permission to chase after it, to fail, to try again. You are worth the fight, and your story is still being written.
Kindle Your Spark
I truly enjoyed reading Get Your Spark Back. Why? Because friend, I've lost my spark. I've let the fire dim. I lost myself in the various roles I've filled. And let me tell you, you have to work to get it back. But you can kindle your spark if you are intentional
Remember: "No decision is a decision." Rachel Marie Martin
About Rachel Martin Morris
Rachel believes in the power of the human spirit to overcome, to thrive and to find deep joy and because of that she pours out her heart via these platforms: she is the writer behind the site FindingJoy.net and author of Get Your Spark Back, Mom Enough and The Brave Art of Motherhood and a founding partner in Audience Industries – a company designed to train and equip entrepreneurs in their ventures.
Parenting can be overwhelming, especially when we experience feeling inadequate or judged by others. In today’s episode, I'll discuss how to overcome those feelings of inadequacy that many of us struggle with. If your teen is acting out or being influenced negatively, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed as a parent—it means you’re on a journey like the rest of us.
Drawing from biblical truths and practical examples, I’ll provide specific ways to reframe these struggles and embrace the challenges of raising children. I'll also share fundamental tools and encouragement to confidently help you navigate this season.
Parenting can be overwhelming, especially when we start to feel inadequate or judged by others. If your child is acting out or being influenced negatively, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed as a parent—it means you’re on a journey like the rest of us. While it is common to feel inadequate, those feelings aren't true. You can confidently navigate this season with a few tools and leaning on God's Word.
Feeling Inadequate Key Takeaways
Many parents, even those with the strongest faith, face struggles when their teens begin to assert independence or fall under negative influences.
Acknowledge that Parenting is Hard for Everyone
You’re not alone in your struggles. Many parents face feelings of inadequacy, but these challenges are a part of the growth process for you and your child. Reframe your mindset. Accept that challenges don’t mean failure but rather an opportunity for growth for you and your teen. Proverbs 22:6 encourages us to "train up a child in the way he should go," but that doesn't guarantee an immediate return or perfect behavior. Trust the process.
Combat Judgment
It’s easy to feel judged by peers, family, or society. But remember, your worth as a parent isn’t measured by others’ opinions. We’ll talk about how to lean on God’s grace and approval.
Reframe "Failure"
Moments when your child is acting out can be seen as learning opportunities for both of you. Take time to connect with your child and show them the love of Christ through the difficulties.
Practical Steps When You Feel Inadequate
From daily prayer to finding community support, explore tangible steps you can take to shift your perspective and handle challenges with grace.
Fostering a Supportive Relationship to Reduce Feeling Inadequate
Building a connection with your child is more important than fixing behavior. Learn how empathy, love, and patience can open the door to positive change. Based on what you observe and the conversations you have, set challenging yet achievable goals.
If your child loves writing but struggles with grammar, encourage them to write stories while gradually improving their grammar skills. The idea is to build on their strengths while gently supporting them in areas where they need growth.
Feeling Inadequate Highlights
Understanding the reality: Parenting teens is one of the hardest seasons for any parent. No one has it all figured out.
Replacing self-criticism with self-compassion: I’ll talk about why it’s crucial to stop comparing yourself to other parents and how to embrace God's grace.
Real-life examples: Hear stories from parents who’ve walked this road and found hope through faith and practical steps.
Scripture Focus
Throughout this episode, I’ll refer to key scriptures like Proverbs 22:6 (“Train up a child in the way he should go…”) and James 1:2-4 to remind us that God is with us in every season of parenting, refining us and our children through these trials.
Feeling Inadequate Wrap Up
As you navigate your parenting journey, remember that perfection isn’t required—faithfulness is. God sees your efforts and is equipping you every day. You are enough for your child, and with God’s help, you’ll continue to grow as the parent He’s called you to be.
Call to Action: If this episode encouraged you, please subscribe, share it with a friend, or leave a review. And don’t forget to check out the full episode at [conniealbers.com] or on your favorite podcast platform. You can also join our community for more resources and support. ~Thank you, Connie
Teaching kids to form coherent arguments is a skill children should learn to develop during childhood to become confident and effective communicators when they are older.
As parents, we all want our children to grow into confident, effective communicators who can express their thoughts and beliefs clearly and respectfully. However, learning how to form a coherent argument is a skill that takes time to develop, and it starts with simple, everyday conversations. Whether explaining why they should stay up a little later or sharing their opinion on a school project, teaching kids how to make a case for what they think, using facts and reasoning sets them up for success.
By helping our children think critically and present their ideas clearly, we’re helping them develop a lifelong ability to communicate thoughtfully and respectfully. In this episode, I will share how we can make this habit second nature for our children.
Understand Your Topic
Before starting any argument, ensure you know what you’re talking about. Teach your children to learn about the topic by reading or asking questions so they are not just guessing.
Example: If your children wants you to consider later bedtime, your children need to understand what’s healthy for them at their age and how much sleep is really needed.
Clarify Your Position
Teach your children to be clear about the point or points they want to make. Help them think about and decide what they are trying to prove or change and say it.
Example: “I think I should go to bed at 9:00 instead of 8:30 because I’ve been getting my homework done on time." This is a clear position.
Gather Supporting Evidence
Don’t just say what you want—back it up with reasons! Find facts or examples that help explain why your point makes sense. Help them gather evidence to support their position.
Example: For the bedtime argument, you could say, “Studies show that kids who are a little older, like me, can stay up later and still get enough sleep if they manage their time well.”
Consider Counterarguments
Encourage your children to consider what someone else might say about their argument and be ready to respond to it. This shows that they've considered both sides.
Example: “I know you might think I’ll be too tired for school if I stay up later, but I’ve been waking up easily for a week now, and I’m not sleepy during class.” Model for your children how to address a counterargument.
Structure Your Argument Clearly
Make sure your children learn that an effective argument has a beginning, middle, and end. This will make it easy for them to follow and understand.
Example:
Introduction: “I think I should go to bed later because I’ve shown I can handle it.”
Body: “First, I finish my homework on time. Second, I don’t feel tired in school. Third, I’ve been managing my time well.”
Conclusion: “So, for these reasons, I believe going to bed at 9:00 is a fair idea.”
Use Simple, Clear Language
Teach your children to talk in a way people can easily understand. Don’t use big words or confusing language. Just say what you mean.
Example: Instead of saying, “The situation is rather inequitable,” you can say, “It’s not fair.”
Stay Calm and Confident
When you’re making your argument, don’t get upset or start yelling. Speak in a calm voice, and stand tall.
Example: If your parent interrupts and says, “But you need your rest,” calmly reply, “I understand, but I’ve been getting enough sleep and feel great.”
Teaching Kids to Form Coherent Arguments by Concluding Effectively
When you finish, sum up your main points so it’s clear why your argument makes sense. Ending strongly helps people remember what you said.
Example: “To sum up, I finish my homework, wake up easily, and don't get tired during the day. That’s why I think I can handle going to bed a little later.” This version uses relatable examples for kids and makes the instructions easy to follow, helping them understand how to make their point clearly and respectfully."
Wrapping It Up
Ultimately, teaching our children how to form coherent arguments isn’t just about winning debates—it’s about helping them become thoughtful, confident communicators. As they learn to express their ideas clearly, listen to others, and back up their beliefs with facts, they’ll develop skills that will serve them well in every part of life. Whether they’re navigating friendships, school challenges, or future careers, the ability to communicate respectfully and logically is a powerful tool. By investing in this now, we’re preparing them for a lifetime of meaningful conversations and connections.
Have you ever wondered if your hopes and dreams for your child might be more about you than them? It’s a tough question, isn’t it? As parents, we want the best for our children. We want them to succeed, to be happy, and to reach their full potential. But sometimes, in our desire to guide them, we unintentionally place our expectations on their shoulders. This is why rethinking parental expectations that we have for our children offers possibilities for them to follow their God-given bend without damaging our relationship.
But what happens when those expectations don’t align with who our child truly is?
Today, let's explore how we can rethink our parental expectations and learn to honor the unique, wonderful individuals our children are created to become. It’s about letting go, embracing the unknown, trusting the Lord, and finding joy in the journey of discovering who they are, not who they think they should be.
Why Parents Often Have Expectations and When Those Need to Shift
Parents, we’ve all been there—we set expectations for our kids because we love them so much and want the best for them. Maybe it’s because we value certain things, like a good education or a stable career, or maybe it’s just because we want to see them succeed and be happy. Sometimes, those expectations come from our experiences, the things we’ve learned, or even the dreams we never fulfilled.
It isn't always easy to examine why we have certain expectations of our kids. But if we focus too much on molding them into our image, we risk stifling their growth and suppressing the qualities that make them unique. It also takes their Creator out of the picture, which is the opposite of what the Lord has planned for our children.
Impact of Expectations on Children
When we set expectations for our kids, it can really shape how they grow and develop. If our expectations are supportive and match who God made our kids to be—their strengths, interests, and personalities—it can boost their confidence and help them feel good about themselves. But when our expectations are too high or rigid, it can make them feel stressed, anxious, or even like they’re not good enough. That’s why it’s so important to find a balance. By being flexible and really listening to who our children are, we can help them grow into confident, resilient individuals ready to face whatever comes their way.
Learning to Honor Your Child's Unique Nature
Honoring a child's unique nature means recognizing and appreciating the individuality that each child brings into the world. It’s about seeing beyond the surface, beyond what we might expect or want for them, and truly understanding who they are—what makes them tick, what lights them up, and what makes them feel understood and loved.
When we honor our child's unique nature, we say, "I see you. I value you for who you are, not for who I think you should be." It’s about allowing them to explore their interests and passions, even if those paths differ from the ones we might have imagined for them. This approach fosters a sense of security and self-worth in our children. They begin to trust themselves, to believe in their own abilities, and to feel confident in expressing who they truly are.
Reframing Your Expectations
Guiding a child’s path is like being a supportive coach on the sidelines while controlling it, which is more like trying to direct every play in the game. When we guide our children, we’re there to offer advice, share our experiences, and help them navigate choices, but we also give them the freedom to explore, make their own decisions, and learn from their mistakes. It’s about trusting them to find their way, even if it’s different from the path we might have chosen.
On the other hand, controlling a child’s path means trying to dictate every step they take, deciding what they should do, who they should be, and how they should live their lives. It often comes from a place of love and wanting the best for them, but it can feel stifling to a child. It can prevent them from developing their own sense of identity and confidence in their abilities, and if we aren't careful, it can also keep them from seeking God's direction for their life.
Think of it this way: guiding is like giving your child a map and teaching them how to read it, while controlling is like holding the map yourself and telling them exactly where to go. Guiding helps them learn, grow, and become independent, while controlling can lead to resistance, frustration, and even a lack of self-confidence. It’s all about finding that balance between offering support and allowing them to be who they are meant to be.
How to Rethink Parental Expectations
Setting expectations that align with a child’s capabilities and interests starts with really getting to know your child—who they are, what they love, and what they’re good at. Here’s how you can do it in a simple, practical way:
Observe and Listen
Pay attention to what your child naturally enjoys doing and where they excel. Notice the activities that make them light up and lose track of time. Listening to their interests and passions is key.
Open Conversations
Talk with your child about their goals, interests, and what they find challenging or exciting. Ask them what they enjoy and what they’d like to try. These conversations can help you understand their dreams and fears, making setting expectations that match their abilities and desires easier.
Set Realistic Goals
Based on what you observe and the conversations you have, set goals that are challenging yet achievable. If your child loves writing but struggles with grammar, encourage them to write stories while gradually improving their grammar skills. The idea is to build on their strengths while gently supporting them in areas where they need growth.
Be Flexible and Discerning
Understand that interests and capabilities can change over time. What your child loves today might not be what they love tomorrow. Be open to adjusting expectations as your child grows and explores new things. It’s okay for goals to shift as your child discovers more about themselves.
Celebrate Effort and Progess, Not Just Outcomes
Focus on your child's effort rather than just the end result. Praise them for trying hard, learning from mistakes, and showing perseverance. This approach encourages a growth mindset and helps them feel confident in taking on new challenges.
By setting expectations that are in line with who your child truly is, you’re helping them grow in a way that feels natural and empowering. You’re not just guiding them; you’re partnering with them in their journey to becoming their best selves.
Encourage Social Connections
Remind your child that getting involved on campus can help them feel more at home. Joining a club, playing intramural sports, and participating in a study group can be great ways to meet new friends and build a support system. We are created for community and relationships, and getting involved is an excellent way to ease homesickness.
Wrapping It Up
Honoring a child's unique nature creates a supportive environment where they feel free to be themselves. We give them the room to fail, succeed, grow, and learn in their own ways.
This approach not only helps build a stronger, more authentic relationship between you and your child but also helps raise confident children who can listen to the Lord's leading. And isn’t that what we all want for our children?
