How to Implement Parenting Advice – ETB #132

Parenting is hard. Deciding how to implement parenting advice can be even more difficult. There are a lot of parenting books out there. I even wrote one myself! Sadly, many parenting books can come across as being the only right way to parent your child. You might start to think, “What is wrong with my child?” when doing what the author says on page 76 isn’t working.

In this episode, I want to encourage you to be careful of who you choose to listen to when it comes to parenting advice and give you some practical filters for deciding which parenting advice to follow.

Any advice you get from people must obviously be filtered through Scripture first. The Bible tells us to train up a child in the way they should go, but what should that training actually look like? I can tell you from my experience that training up my oldest child looked very different from training up my youngest and different still from my friend’s kids. We give instruction and have similar goals, but the path to reach the end may look different for each child.

How do you determine which parenting advice to implement?

Know Your Children

You have to start by knowing your children. Authors, bloggers, and podcasters generally have a genuine desire to impart their knowledge and research to help you, but they are just one resource. Even my book, Parenting Beyond the Rules is one resource, not the definitive source.

It’s all advice worthy of consideration, but not all advice is going to work for every child. One of your kids may need more words or answers or firmness while another may need more relationship or gentleness. Knowing your child will lead to the best path for that particular child.

Get a Second Opinion

When you hear parenting advice you think you should implement, get a second opinion. This comes in the form of prayer, talking to your spouse, and even your child. Ask God to speak to you through the resources you’re consulting and show you the best path. Talk to your spouse about their opinion on a certain method and how it may or may not work. Your spouse can sometimes see things you cannot!

Parenting for the Long Haul

What do you want in 5-10+ years for your kids and your relationships with them? If the parenting method or advice you’re employing is taking you down a path away from your long-term goals in favor of momentary external behavior control, then take a second look. I wanted to reach the hearts of my kids not just get them to sit still in a chair for a period of time.

Parenting is hard. We’re all looking to do it “right.” I admonish you to take the parenting resources available to you and run that advice through the filter of what would God have you do for this child in this season to help them become the person God made them to be while also building a solid long-lasting relationship with your child.